The Washington Post, facing an undoubtedly rainy and slow news week, went ahead and dipped into their lame trend piece bucket again. Too bad, so sad. Now WaPo subscribers get to read four pages of antiquated gender reinforcements that men are like this, and women are like this, and isn't Carrie Bradshaw just the voice of our generation, ladies??
You see, women like to text their feelings, because that's how women use technology: to broadcast emotions. D'uh. Men, meanwhile, prefer Twitter because Ashton Kutcher uses it. No, seriously.
"He kept talking about Twitter." Fishkin rolls her eyes. "Ashton Kutcher. Twitter, Twitter, Twitter."
Can a texter love a Twitterer? Can star-crossed lovers overcome wire-crossed gadgets? Can these relationships be saved?
Yeah, that's just on page 1. I'm not going to subject you to the 10 lines of dialogue after this particular segment, as it turns out to be quotes from He's Just Not That Into You. Wait, yes I will...
Mary: He asked me out!
Nathan: He called?
Mary: Well . . .
Josh: He e-mailed!
Mary: Uh, no.
Nathan: What? He left his calling card with your lady in waiting?
Mary: He MySpaced me.
-- "He's Just Not That Into You"
I don't think I've ever been so happy to not have seen a movie in my entire life. Also, shout-out to
Monica Hesse: Girl, I don't care how slow the news cycle is. Leave the faux-trend reports to Good Morning America and out of real publications.