The Detroit Free Press has always been one of our favorite parts about the Motor City. It's only natural that their sex advice column would do what no other paper does-- actually have intelligent conversations, many of which don't necessarily pander to the readers who just want a giggle-ready piece of entertainment.
This week, the Press tackles real topics like Viagra for women, lopsided boobs, and lies and the lying liars who tell them...
The column is hosted by the great and amusing Isadora Alman, who wrote that book "Doing It: Real People Having Really Good Sex," which is hidden in your bookcase behind the Charles Dickens box set. She's a certified sexologist (I'd love to have been at that meeting) and has done some psychotherapy, which helps when people ask you questions like this (emphasis added):
Dear Isadora: Why can't the drug manufacturers find something that will work on women the way Viagra does on men? For that matter, do Viagra and the other pills like it ever work for women?
Answer: Viagra does seem to work for some women. The reason is that it sends blood to engorge the genitals. Where that creates an erection on men already feeling desire, for women it simply sends blood to the area, which can feel like arousal to some women, but doesn't for most. Viagra and its like do not affect desire in men either, just the ability to have sexual intercourse. Because most women always have that ability (excluding painful conditions such as vaginismus), creating desire is what's complicating the creation of a magic pill. For many more women than men, the desire for sex is bound up in relationship issues and beliefs about appropriate behavior, and there can be no magic pill to deal with those psychological factors.
Dear Isadora: Is there any way to tell for sure whether your partner is lying to you?Answer: For sure? No. There was a rumor that one could tell always when a certain politician was lying. It was whenever he moved his lips! In all other cases you have to rely on what you know of the person's record of truth-telling...
Dear Isadora: My daughter's breasts are beginning to grow and they are coming in lopsided. Are they likely to even out when she is through maturing? She is 11, by the way. Isn't that early?Answer: Young women are maturing much earlier these days. The average age for first menstruation in the 19th Century was around 16; now it is 12. Better nutrition is one probable cause. If you look carefully at your own body, you will see that things that come in pairs are not exactly equal. ...
What do we think about her view that, for women, "the desire for sex is bound up in relationship issues," etc.?
You can read her full responses to these questions here.
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