Alex Zola is from Detroit. When he first moved to New York City twenty years ago, his father gave him some advice: "If someone mugs you, give them everything they want. Everything. Offer your shoes as well. That should make them happy."
The unsaid piece of advice he decided not to add was: "If someone fucks with you, tell 'em, 'Don't fuck with me, I'm from Detroit..."
Of course, Zola was subsequently mugged four years later by a guy who "helped" him by holding the door to a bank's ATM lobby. Zola and the guy, who turned out to be a homeless man wanted for his involvement in a murder, got into a sort-of fistfight, after which the mugger blocked Zola's escape route and demanded money, any money. Instead of giving him the $40 he'd just removed from the machine, Zola gave him the ninety cents from his pocket. The man actually let him go.
When the police caught the man later that night, the mugger screamed obscenities and threats. Finally, the cops had to say: “Shut the fuck up. Do you think you’re scaring him? He’s from Detroit." Later, the mugger apologized:
“Are you really from Detroit,” he asked. I nodded. “Look man, nothing personal,” he said. “I was just trying to get paid.”
Wow. We knew people from Detroit were badass, but we had no idea muggers were actually afraid of them.
The story, which Zola published on Open Salon, goes on to include an incident with The Old Man (as Zola refers to his father), in which a quartet of gangbangers surrounded The Old Man in Manhattan, causing The Old Man to utter a very memorable response... read it here.
Via Open Salon.
Image via Hogvalley. Clip via Kentucky Fried Movie.
Related: