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Arizona University Paper Hosts Sex Advice Column, Silly Questions Ensue

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Northern Arizona University, in the Flagstaff area, has an award-winning newspaper called the Lumberjack, which features a sex advice column and questions from anonymous local dopes and maybe a few genuine practitioners of sex. 

At the end of every semester, the Lumberjack, which can be found online as JackCentral, reproduces the leftover scraps. While they aren't as asinine as you might expect (we're pretty sure the craziest questions were left on the printing press floor), there are a few pieces of gold mixed in with questions about swimming sperm, anal sex, and circumcision...

Q: What’s the point of anal sex?

A: For some of us, the act of anal sex can seem strange or intimidating. For most homosexual male couples, this is a popular option for love-making. Some women or heterosexual men enjoy anal stimulation as well; it just depends on what feels comfortable and pleasurable. Some men enjoy anal sex for a reason most of us don’t think about in the bedroom: prostate health.

Anal intercourse stimulates this sensitive gland that lies just below the bladder and right up against the rectum. Many men enjoy stimulation of the prostate, and some even call this area the “male g-spot.” Plus, proctologists agree regular stimulation of the prostate is good for prostate health and functioning. So if not for your sexual pleasure, do it for your sexual health!

Q: Do sperm have eyes? If not, how do they know to go north for the summer?

A: We are assuming “going north” is a euphemism for traveling up the female reproductive system. To start off, sperm do not have eyes, because they are single-celled organisms. One thing that helps them in their quest for an egg is the flagellum, or that little tail that helps them swim. There are also environmental factors that point them in the right direction. 

Sperm can live in the female reproductive system for a few days, but only a few hours in the vagina. The vagina is a very volatile environment for sperm because of its natural acidity. And because the sperm won’t last too long outside of the vagina either, their instinct is to swim up through the cervix into the uterus and fallopian tubes. If the woman has ovulated and an egg is present, that egg begins to emit certain chemical signals to which the sperm respond. Once they sense that chemical romance, they are further attracted up the fallopian tubes to their female counterpart.

Great answers, of course, but awesomely-named writer Nellie Placencia can clearly be seen resisting snarky remarks to questions like these, under the headline The Naked Truth: Feeling queasy? Maybe there's a baby inside you?

Hola, bonjour and hello faithful readers. You have returned once again for a great week of sexual topics, and I am here to satisfy your cravings. This week’s question comes courtesy of The Stork, who wants to remind everyone that carrots help your eyesight, and sex makes babies.

Q: How long after sex do I know if I’m pregnant? How long can you wait after intercourse to take a pregnancy test?

A: First of all, having sex with no barrier or hormonal contraception is a great way to induce a pregnancy. If you did that within the past two or three months, your chances are good. So…mazel tov!

Women can usually spot a few signs of pregnancy within the first two months of being impregnated. The most obvious sign of pregnancy is a missed period. Keeping track of when your period normally starts and ends is a good idea if you’re sexually active, especially if you have an irregular cycle. If you miss your period and suspect it’s not normal, you might be pregnant. The best way to know is to take a pregnancy test, but more about that later.

Q: How do I get birth control? Does it need to be prescribed by a doctor? When do I start using it? Are there different types?

A: In these trying economic times, we here at The Naked Truth understand the need for effective and affordable birth control. And assuming you are a girl (boys, just head down to Walgreens and buy some condoms), there are a lot of important concerns when choosing the birth control method that is right for you.

 

Via JackCentral.


Related:

How to Find a Woman's Erogenous Zones... From A Men's Magazine in India

Fox News Wants To Sex You Up

Gallery of Ludicrous Romance Novel Covers

Bearded Man of the Week: Joe Bernardi


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Comments

Rick said:

Nice website and good informative article.

Thanks for the information.

May 15, 2009 11:30 PM

Rick said:

Nice website and good informative article.

Thanks for the information.

May 15, 2009 11:31 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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