Seagalogy: A Life in Badass Cinema

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Seagalogy: A Life in Badass Cinema

Posted by Peter Smith

"You are about to go on a sacred journey. This journey will be good for all people. But you must be careful." — On Deadly Ground (1994, Steven Seagal)

Since the advent of the Internet, film criticism has grown considerably more diverse and democratic, with no subject deemed unfit for serious study. Thus, it was only a matter of time before someone got around to writing a comprehensive study of the career of Steven Seagal, one of the most galvanizing figures in Hollywood action cinema during the past twenty-five years. Who better for the task than occasional Screengrab contributor Vern, who is, above all, a noted connoisseur of what he terms "badass cinema?"

Anyone familiar with Vern’s inimitable prose style from his work on this site and Ain't It Cool News, his personal web page, or his book 5 On the Outside, knows exactly what to expect from Seagalogy. Vern's writing is compulsively readable, occasionally lewd but often uproariously funny, with some of the damnedest digressions and turns of phrase I’ve ever read.

But what comes through most clearly in Seagalogy is Vern’s unabashed love for his subject. Over nearly 350 pages, he examines every film in Seagal’s career, from the salad days of Hard to Kill and Marked for Death, to his most mainstream years in the mid-1990s, to his recent direct-to-video fare. Unlike most film writers, Vern is well-versed in Seagal and doesn’t condescend to his work, and even when he’s disappointed with the films themselves, as he was with Out for a Kill, his writing still comes from a place of respect and admiration.

In addition to reviews of every film Seagal has made to date, Seagalogy also features appendices on Seagal’s other appearances and productions, unfinished Seagal projects, thoughts on Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Energy Drink, and a review of a Seattle performance by Seagal's blues band Thunderbox. Heck, there’s even an introduction written by All the Real Girls director (and old-school Seagal fan) David Gordon Green.

Advertisements for Seagalogy call it "the book that will shake the very foundations of film criticism, break their wrists and then throw them through a window." I haven’t watched a Seagal film in years, but the book took me back to my younger days, enjoying a guys-only video night with my dad and watching Out for Justice and Under Siege. For this reason, I call Seagalogy the film book I never knew I always wanted to read. Seagalogy can be purchased exclusively through Lulu.com, and is available both in print and download versions.

— Paul Clark