Sure it was Halloween…but forget werewolves and “sexy mustard” costumes. Those other blogs brought the truly terrifying this week. Here’s the best of the week, the perfect Friday afternoon treat:
• Scanner shattered our dreams by revealing that execs are casting for Heidi Montag’s and Spencer Pratt’s wedding? You mean…The Hills is staged, and Heidi’s boobs aren’t real? Will the horrors ever cease?
Also terrifying: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes might spawn again…peanut butter crystal meth…Scotland will not let you have sex with your bicycle…and the Times brings us the linguistic history of “vajayjay.” They’re bringing sexy back.
Thank your lone stars that there was some good new this week, like a former Texas cop telling us where to hide our weed (I mean, our friends’ weed), and how to avoid arrest. Scanner nominates Woody Harrelson to play the lead in Spike original made-for-TV movie.
• Screengrab scared us at first glance, with the title of their new feature, Face/Off. Thankfully, it didn’t involve John Travolta lovingly trailing his fingers over anyone’s eyes and lips. It was actually the debut of a regular Screengrab feature, in which two writers debate a specific moment in a great film. In this case, Breaking the Waves.
Plus: John Cusack loves aliens…Steven Seagal is a badass of cinema…a goodbye to Robert Goulet…Meryl Streep to play Julia Childs…and rumors of an X-Files movie sequel. More alien love, we hope.
• And the Hooksexup Video Blog brought a horrifying vision of the future: what will happen when Kim Kardashian’s little sisters grow up. Plus, Natalie Portman plays with swords and yen (and hair extensions)…the Hot/Crazy scale of dating…the sad phenomenon of puppets with STDs…and pothead vampires. Hopefully they’ll make that Woody Harrelson movie real soon.
— Nicole Ankowski