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The Remote Island

"America's Best Dance Crew": Dance, Hipster, Dance!

Posted by Bryan Christian

 

If Randy Jackson & AC Slater had a baby, would it be as ass-slapping, break dancing, gyrating, and irritatingly addictive as Randy Jackson Presents America’s Best Dance Crew (10PM, Thursdays, on MTV)? As far as dance competition shows go, this one is like crack. (The good kind.)

ABDC combines Randy Jackson’s love of all things hip-hop with Mario Lopez’ outright cheesiness.  The crews all dress in matching music video outfits with the ladies in the requisite spandex shorts and the fellas generally rocking a classic baggy jean, baggy shirt ensemble.  In addition to being judged on cleanness and unity as a group, the crews are subject to Lil Mama’s commentary on their “swagger,” and whether or not they “shut it down,” or if they were “official.” Oh, and then choreographer Shane Sparks tells them whether or not they were “wack.”

But besides the slang – and, yes, the dancing -- one of the best things about the show is Lopez himself.  Why, after all these years, is he still so greasy/lovable?  That’s such a hard combination to pull off.  Loveable though he may be, we’re hoping he’ll stop dancing.  Whenever the music plays, our beloved Slater feels the need to bounce robotically.  No, baby, no.  Hip-hop is not your forte.  Leave the dancing to the professionals.

Our favorite crew, by the way, is the hipster contingent, The Fanny Pack.  We love to hate to love these kids.  They dress like the mall is having a clearance sale on irony, and everything Technicolor/slightly subversive must go.  Besides which, the name, The Fanny Pack.  Oh, the double entendre.  We get it, you’re cute.  But their herky jerky choreography is somehow futuristic while referencing 80’s style jazz and techno movement.  They’re bringing, you know, artistry, and, like, originality to the stage.  As Lil Mama would say, you can’t hate on that.

-- Olivia Purnell


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Comments

titsmatilda said:

It's a free country -- I can hate on anything I want, and be as insincere as a two-dollar handjob  while doing so, if I want to.  

That's what the flag means to me.  

July 4, 2008 2:08 PM

About Bryan Christian

Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

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Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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