It's family night in Beverly Hills, kids! Pause to thank god that the CW didn't go with a cheesy subtitle (i.e. "The Next Generation," we all saw how that crashed and burned with Saved By The Bell:The New Class).
This week, Harry and Debbie want to re-instate the weekly family night tradition that made their Kansas evenings such a rockin' good time. Little do they know Annie and Dixon have discovered a little thing called life in the fast lane. The West Beverly cohort wants to see a movie on the same night! Dilemma! But wait, there's a solution. Annie and Dixon will invite all their friends to the bowling alley and hope their parents won't notice! Brilliant. So crafty.
Harry and Debbie see right through this plan, but they're competing with Eric and Annie Camden for parents of the year, so there's room for everyone in family night. Pause for montage of laughing, high school fun -- an American Eagle commercial set to music. Somewhere in the midst of all this slow-motion mirth, Ethan screws up his courage and asks Annie to step outside "to get some air." (Do people actually say this in real life?) Turns out getting some air is code for Ethan getting randomly sensitive and pouring out the details of his parents' divorce. Inexplicably, all that sharing leads to a tickle fight. Oh no! The tickle fight is interrupted by Ty (he of the flawless features and raven hair -- it's like if Smallville's Tom Welling and Boone from Lost had a love child and it's this guy). Annie goes skipping over to Ty and his impossibly perfect eyebrows, leaving Ethan in the cold (not the actual cold obviously, it's Beverly Hills after all).
Meanwhile, Naomi and Drama girl (we'd try to remember her name, but we don't care enough) decide to drop off dinner for Naomi's dad at his office where they find her father locked in a passionate embrace with someone other than his wife. Naomi takes this pretty hard. Luckily, she waits until she's driving past the bowling alley to have a complete breakdown and pull the car over. Drama girl declares that she will fetch Ethan because that's what you do when your friend is melting down in her hundred thousand dollar car -- go get the ex! Ethan comes to the rescue and drives Naomi home. Annie watches their departure with what we assume are mixed feelings (Ethan? Ty? Ethan? Ty? That's what's going on here, right?).
By this time Annie gets back in the bowling alley, Ty has bailed on the party which makes us think Ty is either a) a man about town or b) really Superman's son and thus needed to help save the planet from Lex Luther's evil schemes. Either way, if this is going to be an Ethan-Ty-Annie love triangle, we're going to need to stop pussy-footing around and see some action next week.
Speaking of action, jump to Kelly Taylor making out with the lacrosse coach in his car. The kissing is interspersed with awkward attempts at a define-the-relationship conversation. We feel like this must be kind of a trip for Jennie Garth having to do the exact same kinds of scenes that she did the last time around. But whatever, it's currently the only relationship on the show that we're really invested in so thumbs up for a formula that works.
Invasion-of-family-night pretty much winds down and the Wilsons disappear down the hall of their mansion with their arms around each other, joking about chores. Dixon wanders outside again only to find that Silver didn't go home as she claimed, but is instead sleeping in her car like a female Lloyd Dobler to avoid going back to the women's shelter where she's been sleeping for the past several weeks. Sigh. Just when you thought all was well in 90210. Turns out Jackie Taylor is still an alcoholic. A mean one. Who throws things.
Dixon gives Silver an emotional I-know-what-you're-going-through-I-was-a-kid-in-the-system speech and convinces her to tell his dad her troubles. The Wilsons gather around the dining room table for a pow-wow and Annie and Dixon argue about whose room Silver will sleep in. Principal Wilson calls Kelly who confronts Jackie (who, for the record, is just as much of a psycho-bitch as ever). Not to worry, Silver goes home with Kelly. You know how it is, one minute you're getting bottles of Jack thrown at your head by your alcoholic mother, the next minute you're cuddled up with your sister and her fatherless son, eating cereal in bed.
A tearful Naomi, wild-eyed from lack of sleep, tells her mother about her father's affair, but it's kind of hard to take Naomi seriously when she's wearing satin formal shorts. Surprise! Mrs. Clark knows all about her husband's infidelity, but chooses not to rock the boat so that she can keep her place in the life to which she has become accustomed. We get it. We read The Awakening.
Back at the Wilson homestead, Harry and Debbie are learning a time-honored lesson: if you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you, it's yours forever. Annie and Dixon surprise their parents with a "family" breakfast and plans for next week's family night at the Troubadour (the Troubadour? Seriously? Who goes to the Troubadour with their parents?!). Plus, look! There's a text from Ethan on Annie's phone, so it looks like all is not lost except maybe our will to live.