Okay, so Friday night we get two guys debating over whose plan will fix the economy (answer: neither), and Saturday is mostly reruns because the networks assume you're out getting drunk. That leaves Sunday as the next big night for new shows and season premieres.
So here are your many choices for Sunday-night viewing entertainment:
ABC: Extreme Makeover, Home Edition Boo-hoo, then yay! Either you like this sort of thing or you don't.
ABC: Desperate Housewives The whole show moves five years into the future. Does this mean everyone can stop using all the Botox?
ABC: Brothers & Sisters They bicker! They make up! They sleep with each other! (Okay, just former siblings Justin and Rebecca, but still -- eww.)
CBS: 60 Minutes Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson explains why the government's giving billions of dollars to the bank that's foreclosing on your home. Plus, the scientist who's testing that new supercollider device explains why it probably won't destroy the universe, he hopes. Fun!
CBS: The Amazing Race 13 Everyone's always saying that this is the best reality-competition show out there. So how come we always watch it with our finger on the fast-forward button?
CBS: Cold Case Detectives figure out who murdered someone a long time ago, while pop music from that era plays in their heads. You were expecting something different?
CBS: The Unit The team attempts to stop the assassination of the president-elect and vice-president elect. Guess that means neither of them owns a moose gun.
NBC: Sunday Night Football If this wins in the ratings, all the networks execs will be thinking, "Now, why do we pay writers again?"
Fox: The Simpsons As the 20th season begins, Homer and Marge get unlikely new jobs. Look for a joke about how many times this has happened on the show before, then another joke about how many times they've made a joke like that before.
Fox: King of the Hill Bill's love of sweets causes him to develop diabetes, which is totally different from the time Bobby's love of fatty foods caused him to develop gout. Sorry, these shows are great, but maybe it's time for something new around here.
Fox: Family Guy Brian and Cleveland get into a love triangle, which reminds us of the time we saw Raquel Welch eat 20 pounds of raw bacon at the People's Choice Awards.
Fox: American Dad It's Roger the alien's birthday, and he continues to creep us out in ways we don't entirely understand.
HBO: Entourage Johnny Drama goes on The View -- and we can't imagine that not being funny.
HBO: Little Britain USA In its new American version, the British sketch comedy is still all about the dick jokes.
HBO: The Life and Times of Tim A young dude suffers through all kinds of hardships and humiliations. It's like Worst Week, but darker. And animated.
Showtime: Dexter Some critics have complained that the third season is too similar to the first two. To us, that's a good thing. Watch this show.
Showtime: Californication Sure, there's something weird about diagnosed sex addict David Duchovny playing an undiagnosed sex addict. But as much as we hate to like Californication, we like it anyway.
AMC: Mad Men Make that the Emmy-winning Mad Men. What else is there to say?
Photo collage: Egregiously "borrowed" from Alan Sepinwall on NJ.com
Previously:
TV Orgy Tonight!