That's right, kids, Ultimate Fighting is here and now making its premiere on the Remote Island! But before we get into our recap of the show so far, we gotta ask: how massive do Frank Mir and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira look in this promo shot? It's like two Thundercats defending a gaggle of Smurfs. (We did not just say that.)
For those of you who don't know, The Ultimate Fighter is what actually legitimized MMA, endowing it with bragging rights as the fastest growing sport on earth. The epicness started with the finale of season one, when Forrest Griffin and Stephan Bonner, two unknowns, duked it out in the bloodiest slugfest ever. It was more than a brawl. It was a battle of wills, and arguably the most wonderfully violent 15 minutes ever shot, barring the tail end of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. In an instant, boxing became boring, irrelevant, and sadly kangaroo-like.
TUF 8 has not disappointed. Like last season, 32 TOTALLY UN-SMURF-LIKE dudes battle their way onto the show via preliminary bouts. The 16 survivors must then live together, under one roof, in a Vegas mansion.
Last season's skippers - Forrest and Rampage - were surprisingly boring and bad at their jobs, but this year's coaches are dope. Former heavyweight champ Frank Mir brings a goatee and good looks to the table, as well as the sickest submission skills of any big man ever. This is the guy who visibly snapped the arm of Paul Bunyan-esque Tim Silvia. The other coach is the venerable "Minotauro" Nogueira, interim UFC heavyweight champ. The reserved Brazilian brings gravitas, class, and the ugliest, most disfigured visage in the sport. His ears literally look like cauliflowers.
So, to bring you up to date, the go-to plotline of the season centers around this year's answer to Christopher Leben - a reckless, southern boy named Junie Browning. The kid's like Dennis the Menace with grenade tattoos, and he may actually win the lightweight class, if Dana White, our charming UFC prez, doesn't boot him for his bad behavior. Last night's ep also included Rolando Delgado seemingly lying about his blackbelt, Junebug barely making weight, and then, after all the smack-talking, a 3-round slugeroo that ended in a decision. But the highlight of the season thus far is still last week's cameo by Anderson "The Spider" Silva. The middleweight champ and best pound-for-pound fighter in the history of the sport taught the fellas how to spar Muay Thai style.
“Ah,” you students of television are asking, “but is there an ongoing B story? Perhaps something in the way of comic relief?” But of course: a tit-for-tat prank war between the two camps, starting with frozen underwear (ah, that old chestnut), but escalating to itching powder in the sheets, a salmon-juice doused room, and most recently, urination on a pillow. (Ah, that old holy crap!) Despite Nogueira's attempt to stop the mayhem, the fighters have promised to intensify the prankathon in future episodes. Word.
-- James Cohen