"Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Kill all humans! Yes, we can!"

There's an important article on Variety.com about what this presidential election will mean for the FCC, and who might possibly be the next FCC chair to take the rap for a wardrobe malfunction. And by "important" we mean reading it feels a little like homework. But then this, in the eighth paragraph, right when we were starting to nap, about Julius Genachowski, who Variety says is likely to be Barack Obama's "kingmaker on showbiz-related policy issues" :

Genachowski is considered the top contender for the "chief technology officer" post that Obama has talked of creating...

Whoa. "Chief Technology Officer"? How 24th century dystopian is that? What will the chief technology officer do when the technology starts thinking for itself and killing everybody? Despite the obvious risk of this happening, everyone here at The Remote Island will be applying to be Chief Technology Officer, even if we're underdogs to this Genachowski guy. Who wouldn't want to be the leader of the androids? It's clearly the #1 job that'll be created in an Obama administration.   

-- Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights