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The Remote Island

"90210": Don't Play a Playa

Posted by Lindy Parker

 

Not to be uppity about this or anything, but we question the wisdom of running a new episode of 90210 on election night -- Come on CW, is that a good message to kids about political awareness? We're just saying.  Although, to be fair, they could have dvr'ed it and watched the next morning like we did, so no harm no foul.

Moving on, this week there's some drama going down in the Wilson's McMansion because Harry and Debbie have decided to finally break the news about Harry's illegitimate child.   Surprisingly, Dixon -- who has more reason to feel hurt and displaced by this news -- takes the whole thing in stride, whereas Annie jumps right on the judge-y train ("He tells us not to have sex, but when he was in high school he got Tracy pregnant. He's a hypocrite!").

Meanwhile, in the wake of the parking lot hook-up, Ethan has come up with a plan second in brilliance only to last week's let's-go-to-Homecoming-together-but-not-actually-GO-together strategy.  The new plan involves keeping his relationship with Annie on the DL until Naomi has time to move on and hook up with someone else.  Annie agrees to this course of action, seduced by the promise of clandestine make-out sessions.

Silver's throwing a slumber party which we can only hope that Kelly will chaperone and do a reprise of the date rape story from the days of yore.  What's that you say?  You don't remember it.  Here's a little reminder...

Back in the present day, Navid's back in the saddle again working the world's most awkward woo on druggie drama girl. Naomi and Annie have a heart-to-heart about their newly discovered half-sibling.  They decide to drown their sorrows with an after-school Jimmy Choo shopping spree.  Turns out Harry's not that happy about high-priced footwear.  He forbids Annie to go to Silver's sleepover, but locked doors and grounding can't keep a girl down.  Turns out this slumber party's less about cookie dough and deep conditioning treatments and more about tequila shots games of "I never." 

Just as they're reaching that stage where everything is hilarious, the boys (and narc Kim) crash the party.  Naomi recruits Annie to play wingman while she gives detention guy her best material.  Unfortunately, Annie sucks as a wingman and bails to indulge in one of the aforementioned clandestine make-out sessions.  Naomi goes to find her, Silver runs interference -- it's a whole thing.

Navid puts the moves on DDG, and DDG's this close to giving him some obligatory action to thank him for paying for rehab, but Navid doesn't roll like that, and he leaves DDG high and dry.  Meanwhile, Naomi's giving Annie an unintentional guilt trip about all the people in her life that lie.  

Kim's casing the party for drug deals in action, but ends up calling Ryan to pick her up early.  Too bad they're spotted leaving together by that kid from the pilot episode who's name we think is George.  Regardless, before leaving, Kim calls Harry to bust up the party.  Annie's drunk and huddled in her own vomit.  Luckily, Harry's the kind of Dad who doesn't mind hunkering down to have a heart-to-heart with his tearful, drunken daughter.

Back at school, George is blackmailing Ryan about seeing him with Kim.  Harry asks Ryan to take a paid leave of absence until the whole thing blows over.  We're not certain how a paid leave of absence will help things, but we assume Harry has his reasons.

Annie tells Ethan she wants to go public with their relationship, but not before Naomi catches them kissing in the classroom.  Luckily, she has detention guy to comfort her.  Is it us, or does detention guy look a little bit like Jason Biggs?


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Comments

mike said:

Thats a funny screen grab. Is that a mic sticking in the top?

November 6, 2008 12:11 PM

About Lindy Parker

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She now writes for hooksexup.com's TV blog, "The Remote Island." She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

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Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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