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"Bizarre Foods" Wants That Tape Of You Eating Donkey Anus

Posted by Jake Kalish

 

Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern on the Travel Channel is having a video contest, and one lucky winner will star with iron-stomached host Zimmern on an episode. So maybe you were wondering what to do with Fluffy, your beloved pet who just passed on to hamster heaven? Well, get that fry pan going and the video camera rolling...

And if you never checked out Bizarre Foods, do, because like yak testicles, it's weirdly addictive. And we can't be the only ones who think so, because it's on the Travel Channel a lot this coming week, with episodes on Monday at 9 (Spain), and Tuesday at 10 and 11 (Ethiopia). Still, for the life of us we're not sure what it is about this show. Not that we won't try!

First of all, unlike most food/cooking shows, it's got almost no usefulness - when's the next time you're going to go to Alaska to munch on some whale eye? Second, unlike most travel shows, it's not particularly aspirational - he sometimes goes places we might want to go (and often doesn't) but then turns away from the gorgeous mountains and flowing rivers to sit in someone's dirty basement restaurant and eat a sauteed roach.

And third... well, No Reservations With Anthony Bourdain, also on the Travel Channel, has an easily understood appeal: Bourdain goes to the coolest places and eats the best food, high and low -- from chili crab and beer on the street in Singapore to a mind-blowing dining experience at El Bulli, Ferran Adria's three Michelin-starred Barcelonan restaurant that many consider the most creative, if not the best, restaurant in the world. That's total food porn. But Zimmern's show is porn too, in its way. It's just, you know, porn with scary, toothless people rubbing each other out under a boardwalk.

So why are we going to tune in to watch this man suck down barnacles and wasp larvae, and possibly try for the chance to do it with him? Beats the hell out of us.

-- Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights


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About Jake Kalish

Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights https://www.amazon.com/Santa-vs-Satan-Compendium-Imaginary/dp/0307406709/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208807460&sr=8-1

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Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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