Show of hands: who had guys in their high school that looked like this? Seriously, put them up where we can see them, because those pectorals certainly never walked the halls of our alma mater. We're just saying. Here's the up's and down's of this week's episode...
Happy: The episode opened with Lori Laughlin interrupting Ethan and Annie's giggly phone sex, which made us laugh for two reasons: 1. Ethan and Annie were attempting phone sex and 2. With all the shameless T-Mobile product placement, it's laughable to imagine these Beverly Hills kids use land lines. Ever.
Sad: It's hard for us to take any dialogue on this show seriously. It's that awkwardly written.
Happy: Grandma Wilson is just a drunk and bizarre as ever, but now it's manifesting itself in a weird power struggle with Lori Laughlin (who, it should be said, could probably eat Grandma Wilson for breakfast). We're hoping it comes to blows.
Sad: The writers on this show appear to be trying to break up Silver and Dixon by making Silver (the only actress on the show who can carry a scene) as unlikable and inconsequential as possible. Who's cruel and sarcastic when their boyfriend wants to sing in the choir? How annoying.
Happy: The female PE teacher with the oddly deep voice who claims to be "keeping track of Naomi's menstrual cycle." Hmmm.
Sad: Navid can't deal with the fact that DDG is pregnant by another guy, and kicks her to the curb in her time of need after claiming he'll stand by her through anything. All lies.
Happy: This interaction -- Silver on Ethan and Annie's shameless lunchroom PDA: "Are you guys in heat?" Ethan: "How about a little privacy, Silver?" Really? Privacy? In the cafeteria? Sometimes the ludicracy of the dialogue kinda works out.
Sad: Annie and Ethan didn't stay broken up after her almost-de-virginization turned into a fight.
Our questions: Where is Brenda? Where's Ryan? Where's Kim, the undercover cop? Who will save us from the perpetual Annie-Ethan "I love you's"?