We don't usually do puppy news, but it's Oprah, Ruler of the Heavens and Earth. Plus, it gives us an excuse to put up a picture of a puppy. This is the word so far: it's an 8-week old blonde cocker spaniel.No name yet.  A shelter dog, of course, 'cause it's Oprah. She's probably already given that dog a new car. So Oprah Winfrey was very influential in getting Barack Obama elected, but now she's stolen some of the Presidential family's thunder by picking a puppy before they do. Could this be the first crack in their relationship? God, imagine if Oprah and Barack became enemies. It'd be like The Hulk fighting Superman. He could be like "This puppy news, that's my thing. Step off." And she could say "You think you're the only star allowed to adopt a puppy?" And he'd say "but couldn't you have shut up about it?" And she'd say "Have you ever watched my show? Would I ever shut up about that?"

This is an elaborate fantasy, and it results in her ripping into his stimulus package, and him wondering aloud what the Stedman thing is all about. Then they become archenemies, and square off in the 2012 Democratic Primary. That, or just throw thunderbolts at each other on Mount Olympus.