In addition to being an actor, SNL diva, radio personality, blogger, and certifiable pimp, Alec Baldwin has now added Film critic/host to his resume. Alec’s gonna be the host of a Turner Classic Movies show called Essentials. Pimp Baldwin will offer his expertise and semi-serious commentary on the Classics like Rocky and Ben Hur.
Honestly, the man does it all and we love him for it. But this latest gig has us asking ourselves, what’s next for the Baldwin that already does it all? Street juggling? Teaching rhythmic gymnastics to troubled youths? Traveling the world with Bridget Marquardt’s bikini beach show? (We bet he looks great in a two piece).
We’ve got some ideas for the next step, Alec. 5 of them to be exact.
5. Designer. Create a line of specialty Jack Donaghy suits to be sold at Men’s Warehouse locations nationwide. The line would be reminiscent of Kelly Kapoor’s Office collection (if Mindy Kaling ever designs such a miraculous feat of fashion), but with a dapper Alec twist. The country is crying out for this.
4. Parenting Expert. Baldwin should author a Parenting Manifesto. Look, we’re only half kidding here. We know the Baldwin parent-child voicemail incident caused an outrage. But have you heard Dan Savage’s defense of Alec’s parenting (This American Life, “How To Talk to Kids”)? Dan says, more or less, kids need authority figures to loose their shit from time to time. We find his argument interesting (if not slightly unhealthy) and we’d love to see more on parenting from the man who went absolutely bonkers on his teenage daughter’s answering service.
3. New Father. Have babies with Hayek. We know this is only a pipe dream. Salma just finished pushing one out a year ago, and married her billionaire baby daddy. But we still think that it could be on a list of Alec’s long-term goals. Right around 2015, Salma might be tired of life as a billionaire wife and looking for an aging SNL pro-host with shiny hair and a collection of Men’s Warehouse suits.
2. Governor. Run for office. You’ve got that natural Reagan about you.
1. Hair Care Specialist. Let’s talk about the kind of product you’re using in those greasy delicious locks of yours. Straight Olive Oil? Nothing else, just the oil? Okay, well we can figure out a way to market that.
(ccinsider.comedycentral.com)
Previously:
Alec Baldwin Gets Killed Off Conan
Alec Baldwin and Daughter From The Crazy Voicemail Reunited
Alec Baldwin Has Something to Say About Salma Hayek