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The Seinfeld Porn - See The Cast, Including The "Porn Nazi"

Posted by Jake Kalish

 

See, this is the thing with the word "Nazi" - put "Soup" in front of it, that's funny. Put "Porn" in front of it, that's disturbing. Many people will wait in line patiently for the Soup Nazi's soup. Far fewer, and far creepier, people, will wait for what the Porn Nazi is doling out. Anyway, as the Porn Nazi, that's porno legend Evan Stone, fresh from having his penis ruin the Super Bowl.   

Want to see the rest of the cast for the XXX Seinfeld?  Our initial impressions, based solely on these thespians' looks, as we have never seen a pornographic film in our lives: mediocre Jerry. Excellent Kramer. Extremely porny Elaine. And Jason Alexander is going to be very insulted by the George Costanza... 

Right? Look at that guy. Terrible. Jason Alexander should sue. Here's a comparison of the four main characters:

 

 

Fleshbot has NSFW photos of the whole cast. And, this being a porn film, something with which we are completely unfamiliar, there are apparently a whole lot of extra female roles. Funny that with all the beautiful women who passed through Seinfeld, even just as Jerry's girlfriends on the show, that Porno Seinfeld ran out of roles and filled out the cast with "video clerk", and two female porn stars playing themselves. Porn isn't known for being diligent in its research, though. Hopefully someone is a big Seinfeld fan, because there are numerous scenes, like this one, that are ripe for porno parody. We're sure the line "they're real and they're spectacular" will be uttered, at least once.

PREVIOUSLY:

"Seinfeld", The Porn

"Happy Days" Gets Down And Dirty...XXX Dirty

Friday Flashback: "Seinfeld", The Masturbation Contest

 

 


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About Jake Kalish

Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights https://www.amazon.com/Santa-vs-Satan-Compendium-Imaginary/dp/0307406709/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208807460&sr=8-1

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Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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