Dating Confessions by You "I'm wearing sexy underwear while talking to you online so that I feel confident enough to tell you that I'm into you."
Scanner by Emily Farris Today on Hooksexup's culture blog: We bring you more Dita Von Teese from the German Playboy.
Screengrab by Various Today in Hooksexup's film blog: Holiday special - 35 people, places and movies we're thankful for.
The Remote Island by Bryan Christian Michael Phelps indulges Anderson Cooper in some watersports and Dexter makes a 'bitch move.' Plus: the secret of Tina Fey's scar, revealed!
Cancer (June 21-July 21)
Happy birthday, Cancer! July is a powerful month for you, the perfect time to launch your goals. Mars orbiting near Saturn this month indicates a good time for a vacation, so pack your bags, water-resistant lube and hit the beach. Although you're not a believer in love at first sight, signs point towards some summer loving (think John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John skipping in the waves and falling over sand castles). Okay, so you're not one for romance (you gag at candle-lit dinners and Barry White) but let yourself get carried away this time. Resist rough-and-tumble fucks and make love instead. Carpe diem!
Leo (July 22-Aug. 22)
It's time to let go of some of your vices, dearest Leo. Hand over your vial and crack pipe to a trustworthy friend and hop on the bandwagon, because July is a month for sobriety. If you're grinding your teeth as you read this, fear not, because August will offer you plenty of time for debauchery and sex on X (especially if you have tickets to Burning Man). In the meantime, detoxify and cleanse your spirit. Check out the nearest Hare Krishna temple or pack a bag and hit up the Appalachian Trail for a week. Whatever you choose to do, take care of yourself and chill. If you don't you'll be too burnt out to embrace the life-changing opportunities next month's lunar eclipses will bring.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 21)
Have the sexually frustrating dog days of summer made you want to jump out of your car in traffic and jump the cutie in the next lane? Well, now's your chance. Mars's entry into Virgo signals that this week is the time to take chances without the fear of repercussions — now, that doesn't mean to put away your umbrella when you know it's about to rain, but once you get wet, you'll be singing. The Happy Hour road leads to all good things; don't resist that special someone who puts something sweet to your lips.
Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22)
Are you suspecting that you, too, are Lindsey Lohan's half-sibling? For you, Libra, this is a week of weathering the good with the bad. Just as the family money rolls in, you'll discover a new, fucked-up parent; as that new job comes along, you'll enter an office environment that makes you long for your red stapler. The Sun and Venus align to shine on Uranus this week. (Really! We're responsible journalists, look it up.) And like your new freckled sis in a cat fight, you just need to weather the body blows and keep on slappin'.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Recent beer, brats and Ben and Jerry's have inspired your mom to start Photoshopping your Fourth of July barbecue pictures. Since you now look like a disfigured Maxim model in her wallet, you might want to take the hint and find a gym. The full moon on Friday makes for great travel opportunities on the weekend — hit the beach running and switch to straight liquor to keep the calories down. You might even find a new boo that your mom doesn't have to do a cut-and-paste job on.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
With Mercury in a speedy direct orbit this week, you may find yourself being speedy and direct as well. Propositions to others are each guaranteed to be a sure thing (just like that John Cusack movie), so be sure to take advantage of your endless charm and tap that fine ass at the bar. In fact, go right ahead and tap any ass you'd like — Mars is in the prime position to increase your passion, drive, and energy, giving you the ability to jump from bed to bed without the slightest decrease of mojo. Just make sure not to be too “speedy” in the bedroom, and remember: no glove, no love.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You're in for a big shock this week, Capricorn, but don't worry too much — the combination of Uranus and the full moon is going to make this a very good week for you, so you won't find yourself having to explain why you didn't know your new date is only a senior in high school. We would say you'd be getting a surprise birthday party if it was winter, but maybe it's better that you don't have any hints about what's coming. The best surprises are the ones that are really out of left field, like when you found out that Zooey Deschanel actually has musical talent. Enjoy the anticipation!
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Jupiter's going to make this week a little bit easier for you, Aquarius. In the grand tradition of prophets from Cassandra in The Odyssey to Cordelia on Angel, your intuition is going to be off-the-charts good at this time. (Though hopefully you'll meet a better end than both of them.) What should you do in this situation? Our advice — go on as many dates as possible. You should be able to fit in at least seven if you really commit, and hopefully your gut will take some of the guesswork out of whether a second date is worth it. So get to it — your time of great insight may already be running out!
Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
It's time to get over your aversion to the whole "wingman" thing. Sure, it's a dumb word, but the stars know that you secretly loved Top Gun, and there's a full moon in Capricorn on Friday that's just itchin' to see some elaborately executed pickup routines at the bar, so suck it up and bring a friend. It may feel cheesy at first, but pop back a few drinks and you'll practically have to hold a raffle to figure out who you're taking home. Oh, and however tempting it seems at the time, singing "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" is usually not a good strategy for picking up sex partners in real life.
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
Lately, your life makes as much sense as the ending of Hancock, and like Will Smith, you've been waking up drunk in all kinds of fun places. Sure, the drugs make you think you weather bullets, but at the end of the day, we both know the LAPD isn't at your door to ask you to solve a hostage situation. Pluto's entrance into your fourth house will wash a wave of forgiveness on your shore. Grab it by the ass and don't let go — this week, life won't be walloping you with a sexual-harassment suit for your efforts.
Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
Believe it or not, it is still possible to date people when there aren't cameras following your every move. And they don't even have to be hot, advice-giving moms, women who zanily live with their managers/exes, or hunky but questionable "farmers." (Although that's allowed.) Mercury is sending some serious vibrations to Mars this week, so consider that your green light to send out some vibrations of your own. Unlike reality show producers, don't play it safe: do things the unscripted way and you'll be surprised how quickly things get too hot for TV.
Gemini (May 21-Jun. 21)
That porn you've been inspired to film? Do it, my friend, because it'll bring in quite the profit. The full moon on Friday illuminates your eighth house of other people's money. Not only that, Venus is beautifully angled with this new moon, making any creative ideas extremely profitable. So what did you have in mind? BALL-E? Get Smut? Journey to the Center of My Vagina? You could easily produce the next Deep Throat. Except there'll be no controversy — just mad profit. The catch? You'll have to be flexible and accept others' suggestions. So even if you're not sure Agent 69 should climb into a sex swing, go with it. It'll only lead to more cash.
, featuring curious yet marvelous infusions of cucumber and rose petal.
