61 Frames Per Second by John Constantine Today in Hooksexup's videogame blog: Street Fighter. The movie. A new one. With that chick from that Superman show. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about!
The Remote Island by Bryan Christian Mad Men's January Jones struts her stuff in Vanity Fair. Plus: Damages returns, the latest Gossip Girl guest star and Donna Martin capitulates.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Things are going well at your children's television show, Bob-Bob the Grapefruit. Yes, ratings are up, but it's the art that matters. You've blown all your savings (velvet costumes for the back-up dancing strawberries) but it's all worth it for your petit chou, your trésor, your jewel of a programme de télé. That is, until your lead tells you he's bailing. "But Gaston," you bawl from the glittered floor, "Nobody will ever play — will ever be — Bob-Bob but you." Gaston gazes into the horizon. "I must follow my destiny," he murmurs. "I have seen the future. . . and it is Yo Gabba Gabba!." Mark Mothersbaugh pops out from behind a pillar and sagely nods. Don't worry; after your show is cancelled, it'll become the cult hit of the century.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
We'd have thought that "don't come between a well-funded, amoral sultan and his gold bars" was a piece of advice that didn't need to be tested, but you've never been able to resist the opportunity to backflip around some laser beams, have you? Unfortunately, it's now time to either pay the piper or surrender one of your earlobes to that gentleman with the eye patch who's been following you around. Prepare for an extreme makeover and a touch of identity theft, and remember that lying low on the Riviera ain't all bad: chicks dig a bit of mystery, and your neighbor's probably got a few Monets hanging about that he'd never miss.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You've been quite the gadfly lately — dancing on all the right tables and palling around with deposed royalty. It's all been very glamorous, but everyone needs a break now and then. The blinding light of the flashbulbs can be bad for burgeoning love, too. You and your new "friend" should probably lie low for a while. We hear Siberia's nice this time of year. Plus, out there nobody can overhear your plans to crush the peasant uprising.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
The whole world seems to be bending over backwards to please you this week, but leftover muffins and free mouthwash samples from the dentist only get you so far. See if you can channel all this goodwill into something more beneficial and long-lasting. Call in some favors at the office and have your colleagues cover for you while you decide which of your admirers gets the honor of sanding your floors. Or bending over backwards.
Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
Maybe it's just post-election fever, but you'll find yourself wanting to advance your career and raise your public profile this week. We hear that a certain jug-eared former law professor is looking for a few good men and women, so polish up your resume, don your best non-partisan suit, and head on down to Washington. And if you can't find enough synonyms for "hope" and "change" for the Mad Libs portion of the application, don't fret. Just get yourself down to the nearest Congressional toilet, let your tapping feet do the talking, and a plum position will surely be yours.
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
When most people fall in a rut, they try making curry or taking tango lessons. But these serious doldrums call for more drastic measures. You've never been one to shy away from adventure, so be it a little exotic-game hunting or a bit of light espionage, we're sure you'll find an outlet for all that excess energy. Just make sure your wilder instincts don't get the best of you. Joining a club is always a good way to make friends, but stay away from the ones that serve Kool-Aid.
Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
Things are heating up for you romantically and socially. If you're in a long-term relationship, thoughts of the big question have probably entered your mind. Don't dally! Venus wants to you to take the plunge, whether it's toward the altar or the sack. Just make sure you're prepared for either endeavor, be it a trip quick to Walgreen's or Kay Jewelers. And if you're suffering through a dry spell, cheer up: the Thanksgiving turkey won't be the only thing getting basted in the coming days.
Gemini (May 21-Jun. 21)
The sun is shining down on your codependent house this week, so be prepared for your inner bunny-boiler to go nuclear. Try to channel all that excess energy into non-criminal pursuits. Cathy comics, triple-chocolate ice cream and knitting were all invented for good reasons. If your pathological tendencies get too strong to suppress, be sure to take due precautions. Use your crazy roommate's Honda Civic to do your stalking in. That girl's already got a padded cell with her name on it.
Cancer (June 21-July 21)
You might feel like one overworked honeybee drone this week. But don't despair: with the economy still in the toilet, you're lucky to have any work at all! And all that buzzing will pay off. Still, as you move forward professionally, it would be worthwhile to take a glance in the rear-view mirror and reacquaint yourself with an old friend. . . or even that dreaded ex. People change, the stars realign and everything old romantically can be new again.
Leo (July 22-Aug. 22)
Your tragic habit of falling for lanky youths who only get hot for inbred European aristocrats strikes again this week, and you’re feeling decidedly genetically inadequate. Remember that — in this democratic age — fortune favors the bold. Get out ye olde antiquated paper and quill pen and start forging some thirteenth-century birth certificates. While you’re at it, start writing a thriller based on the ancient secret society you’ve just invented: In these dark economic days, you’ll need more than imaginary family heirlooms to pay the rent. Thankfully, you’ve got the creativity, and moxie, to make it.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 21)
It's coming. The day you fear the most: Thanksgiving. And with Thanksgiving comes that one in-law so loathsome that no amount of stuffing and sweet potatoes can blunt the pain. Lucky for you, Mercury is in retrograde, which — though it may toss your well-laid plans to the wind — will also leave you feeling liberated and friskier than ever. Wednesday in particular will be a good time for you to get your rocks off. Once you sow your wild oats and tell Aunt Edna all about it, she'll make sure to keep her distance.
Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22)
Seriously, it might be time to give all those self-improvement shows on cable a rest, because you've got enough projects going on to fuel three seasons of TLC programming. While it's great that you're retiling the bathroom and treating yourself to that cast-iron bidet, installing the fire pit and baking a cream-puff replica of the Starship Enterprise might be a bit much for one week. Luckily, your powers of persuasion (combined with that loincloth you knitted out of old mop heads) should make it easy to enlist some much-needed assistance. Plus, those cute boys at the hardware store are always willing to push more than your shopping cart.
