Jenna, 40
www.shadowmanor.com/blog
www.halloweddings.com

Is wearing all black emblematic of a gloomy love life?
When a non-goth girl wants to look really sexy, what does she do? Wears black. We just prefer to look like that all the time. Velvet, leather, latex, lace, big dark eyes and lush red lips: sexual fantasy or typical goth attire?

Would you date someone from the opposite end of the cultural spectrum (i.e. a country boy/girl or city hipster)?
I'd never say never, but there would have to be an extremely compelling reason to date someone whose tastes and views were so radically different. Mind-blowing sex isn't worth being dragged to an Oak Ridge Boys concert.

I'm attracted to someone shy. Without scaring her away, when should I stop being friendly and start being flirty?
Don't flirt at all. Be mysterious and intriguing. Hint at hidden heartbreak in your past. Let her draw you out.

The sexual chemistry between me and my current boyfriend is great, but he's not much of a conversationalist. The awkward silences are starting to bother me. What should I do?
If there are topics that interest him, drop one of those into the conversation as a way to keep him talking. You could also simply stop viewing the silence as awkward; there's no rule that says you have to be constantly chattering at each other.

My girlfriend always wants to have phone sex whenever we're apart, but I can't help thinking how silly it might be. Do I tell her that it'd be best if we wait until we're together again, or am I the one being silly here?
How likely is she to secretly put you on speakerphone? Seriously, though: where men tend to be more visually oriented, women are beguiled by words. Pick up a book of erotica and read some of the more descriptive passages for ideas, then use the same sort of imagery on the phone with her. She definitely won't think it's silly. Be careful to sound sincere; if you can't stop laughing it'll just make her mad.

My girlfriend loves dancing; not only am I bad at it, I hate it. What can I do?
At the very least you should compromise. If it's something that she really enjoys, do it once in a while to please her. This also gives you a bit of leverage when you really want to do something that she hates. However, the reason you hate it so much may be because you're bad at it. Consider taking lessons. Your girlfriend will be thrilled that you care enough to do something just for her, which will pay dividends later. If you want a gothier answer: suffer in silence and write poetry about the sacrifices you make for love.

A friend of mine keeps confusing me. She talks to me like a close brother, revealing her recent crushes and conquests, but sometimes jokes that she's really into me. I'm starting to get curious. Should I make a move?
Faint heart ne'er won fair maiden, pal. Have a frank talk and explain that her behavior is confusing you. This will give you both a good opportunity to discuss your real feelings for each other, and if she doesn't mean to be leading you on it should stop her from sending mixed signals.