The Source: Truu Confessions
The Dilemma: "My tween daughter and I got into one of our sex/sexuality discussions today and she brought up that a friends mother had gotten the friend her first vibrator... Don't know how to handle this one ladies!!!! While I have no problems with masterbation [sic] (go for it!) I think 12 is a little young to buy them vibrators. Input please!!!"
The Advice: "That's sick to me," says TruConfessions user kahlan2000. "I think it's more encouraging her daughter to have sex than anything else. I mean, how many people who experiment with sex toys are virgins? It won't be long now for that 12 year old."
The Rebuttal: What's worse for an adolescent girl's development: a piece of plastic that will teach her about her body or a vagina shackle in the form of a purity ring and a subscription to Teen Vogue? I wish my parents had gotten me a vibrator as an adolescent. Maybe someone could have actually used the facilities if I'd broken it off with Mr. Shower Massage.
The Source: Advice Goddess, Amy Alkon, OC Register
The Dilemma: Stunned writes, "My online dating profile clearly indicates that I'm a vegan. A woman I've been communicating with informed me that she eats a healthy diet, but enjoys meat and fish. Fine with me, but our first phone conversation became an inquisition about whether I would attempt to make her a vegetarian... She got intense about it, despite my insistence that I don't proselytize. I finally conceded a belief that vegans are more evolved from a spiritual standpoint. She really went off about this... At one point, she even said that letting my cat go outside was as cruel as factory farming. Most amazingly, this happened after numerous pleasant e-mails."
The Advice: "This woman's obviously out of her ground-beef-filled gourd... The thing is, she may actually be on to something — albeit in a somewhat shrewishly hysterical way. Here you are, presenting yourself as this easygoing sprout-muncher who manages to maintain a live-and-let... murder small defenseless animals attitude. But, do you really? Like a lot of people hoping to maximize their dating possibilities, you try to be 'open-minded,' but how realistic is it to tell yourself you can be with a woman you'll kiss, then think, 'Eeeuw, I can still taste that murdered cow'? To find a person you're compatible with, be honest about your dealbreakers... You might even restrict your online dating forays to a vegetarian personals site like VeggieDate.org."
The Rebuttal: The only thing as annoying as militant vegetarians and vegans are militant meat-eaters who go around making assumptions. There are vegetarians who have absolutely zero issues with dating an omnivore. To suggest Stunned confine himself to niche dating sites is almost as ridiculous as engaging someone you've never met in a waste-of-time nonsensical phone argument. Stunned, next time you're being angrily lectured by a stranger, tell them your seitan is burning and hang up the phone.
The Source: Suzi Godson, Times Online
The Dilemma: "I am a 38-year-old virgin. After a very awkward situation at the age of 15 I have never tried again because I have been too embarrassed. I am now dating a lovely girl and would like to try. Where do I begin learning about how to please her?"
The Advice: "Be consistent; don't chop and change pace, technique and position. Limit the gymnastics and, if in doubt, stick to missionary. Most women feel more attractive lying flat on their back than they do bouncing up and down on top. Lastly, always operate a 'ladies first' policy and if at first you succeed try not to look astonished."
The Rebuttal: Speak for yourself, Suzi. I find a flat-on-the-back position leads to a doubling of the chin and boobs fleeing for the armpits. If she wants to get on top, go for it. "Ladies first" and "be consistent" are fine mandates, but they're a bit much for a first timer. Just do your best and accept that it's going to be artless.
The Source: Ernie Anastos, FOX5 WNYW
The Dilemma: Coming up after the break: a local news anchor offers a local weatherman some surprising counsel.
The Advice: "Keep fucking that chicken."
The Rebuttal: Maybe last week I was a little hard on the cocker spaniels, but sexual assault on poultry is just over the line. Not to mention unprofitable. Chickens have an all-purpose vent-like organ. How does the phrase "cloacal kiss" strike you? Yeah, I thought so. Oral might be permissible. It tastes like... well... you know. Then again, there's always the threat of salmonella. Best stick to your own species, as old-fashioned as that sounds.
Commentarium (23 Comments)
Even if it was on Fox, and even if it was one of those idiot "not news" shows that carefully avoids any real news, you've got to feel sorry for the guy. He clearly MEANT to say "keep PLUCKING that chicken." He didn't, and the looks he got from his fellow non-newscasters are hysterical, but he really truly never meant to say it.
And the clip will live on YouTube until the sun goes cold.
Agreed, in no way as that planned. Hopefully he doesn't suffer any job-related repercussions. Hopefully he'll get a book deal out of it. "Overcoming Embarrassment" or some such.
Ernie Anastos -- LOL. As if local NYC broadcast news stations weren't bad enough already. He and Sue "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!" Simmons should get together.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYAMDhVT50I
the rebuttals on this are just as bad as the advice. yeah, because giving a twelve year old a vibrator is totally acceptable. what a sick fuck.
Giving a twelve-year-old a vibrator IS totally acceptable. What's your problem?
I do hope that we all know what is meant by "chicken" and this is just for hilarity's sake.
When I was 12, I discovered masturbation vis a vis the massage shower head. All by my innocent self. Jeez.
Twelve does seem a tad young to me for a vibrator, but not for any "moral" reasons. I'd just worry about the girl becoming desensitized to other forms of stimulation that are actually found in nature. I'd see a vibrator more as a thing to experiment with when she's a little older, after she's learned how to get off au naturel. Also, who wants to have their mother buy them a vibrator? I'd have died a thousand deaths! It's good to talk to your kids about sex and orgasms and all, but some things they can discover for themselves...
That woman probably gave her 12-year-old her own vibrator after she figured out she was using her mom's and she didn't want to share.
I agree with Lydia. It's not wrong because it's "immoral" for a 12 year old to use a vibrator, it's wrong because a 12-year-old is just discovering her body and shouldn't fuck it up early on with a vibrator before she's even learned how it works naturally, or she's going to need a vibrator to get off the rest of her life.
I have had the sex talk with my 12-year-old daughter, because I don't trust my ex-wife to do that in a timely fashion. I broached the subjects of menstruation and menarche with her as well, going so far as to race out and buy her pantyliners as she was exhibiting a lot of classical signs of PMS right before a week away at camp. We have watched movies and TV shows where I can tell she wants me to NOT BE THERE due to sexual situations on screen (discussions of usually)...
With all of that said, there's a LINE PEOPLE!
I respectfully submit that if Mom in the above case really wanted to do the right thing, she should have had a sister or other close aunt-equivalent act as a proxy... Much easier to chalk that sort of thing up to eccentric adult stuff when it's not your parents.
Most girls start masturbating at around 12 why is getting a vibrator for her so bad? It would open up more conversations with her to make her more sexually comfortable later in life. If this mom is already having a 'sexuality discussion' with her daughter, I'm surprised she's balked so much at the idea. 12 is not young for masturbation.
A vibrator will not "desensitize you." It's just another form of getting sexual pleasure. I'm sure all the ladies out there can attest that you even get different feelings of pleasure from vaginal sex v. oral sex v. hand job v. masturbation with toys v. masturbation with hands, etc. It's just different. If nothing else, she would at least know about her body and know what an orgasm FEELS like and learn to expect it from her partner and help guide them along.
YgImJC Hello! Read the pages not for the first day. Yes, the connection speed is not good. How can I subscribe? I would like to read you in the future...
Internet is written with the capital letter in a sentence, by the way. And hundredths are written not with a point but with a comma. This is according to the standard. And actually everything is very good!!!
Interesting. We are waiting for new messages on the same topic...
Hi! Everyone who reads this blog - Happy Reconciliation and Accord!!!
Can be also this issue because the truth can be achieved only in a dispute :)))
I decided to help and sent a post to the social bookmarks. I hope to raise it in popularity....
Thanks a lot! An extremely interesting comment...
Interesting. We are waiting for new messages on the same topic...
Pleased to read intelligent thoughts in Russian. I`ve been living in England for already 5 years...
As usual, the webmaster posted correctly..!