Kryssy Kocktail, 35

Photo By Norman Blake

What's great about sleeping with someone in the sideshow?I would never sleep with anybody in the sideshow — the term “don’t shit where you eat” comes to mind. Plus, we’re carnies, and you never quite know what you’ll catch. But for those who are daring enough, make sure you’re a tourist, and you’ll never — and I mean never, ever — have to look at them again. After all, do you really want people like that knowing where you live?

Has performing in the sideshow ever gotten you laid?
Lying on a bed of nails is enough for me, but I’m pretty sure if I wanted to, I’d probably have a pretty good chance of claiming a victim. How often do you think that someone turns down a sword swallower?

Do you prefer to date outside the sideshow, or do us "normies" not do it for you anymore?
Anybody with a job is game — and if you can articulate and have some type of comprehension, that's a plus.

How does being a sideshow performer typically go over with the parents?
Depends on how you look at it — am I paying for their retirement home?

Has being a sideshow performer ever been a dealbreaker for someone you were seeing?
I think my mental status is probably more of a dealbreaker than my job.

What's the best come-on you've ever gotten while working?
“You like jewels? Because I’ve got a pearl necklace I’d love to give you.”

I'm involved in an office romance. Should I out it to the rest of the office or let it continue quietly?
There are two questions here. First, what’s your work policy is like? If your job is laid back, then fine, but for the most part — if it’s not a long term or serious thing — I wouldn’t let people know. There are often too many hens in the henhouse that like to cause drama, if you know what I mean.

My girlfriend wants me to pose for some sexy pictures. She maintains that they will be just for us, but she's got a photo blog — and I worry that’s where they’ll end up if we break up. What should I do?
If you don’t want anyone to see your goods then don’t give them access to them. This is the era of technology — information spreads like wildfire. Trust no one.

What's a good way to keep the spark in a long-term relationship?
Considering I’ve been married for twelve years (to a non-tattooed construction worker) and have three kids with him, I’m convinced that the key to success in a long-term relationships to have completely different work schedules, bedrooms, and to spend the least amount of time with your partner as possible.

I suspect my girlfriend is faking orgasms — should I confront her?
Maybe you should buy her a new vibrator. If she’s faking them, it could only be for two reasons, and neither explanation is going to do any good for your ego at this point. But look at it this way: if she’s faking them, at least you know she loves you.

I've been letting my one-night stands turn into month-long crappy dating experiences because I can't confront the guys and let them know it's not working. How do I "man up?"
If you’re serious: use a fake name when you meet someone, always go to their house, don’t tell them where you live, and leave as soon as it’s done. Easy enough.