Don't Hate the Player: Realize It's Just a Game

One thing that I hear a lot of women complain about is the game player. I've met my fair share.

We all know that guy: he's never really in a relationship, but he's got a million women up in the air. He's usually good-looking, charming, funny and great in the sack: everything you'd want in a boyfriend. But he just won't commit to one person.

Personally, I don't think he's as much of a big bad wolf as most people think. Guys like this are usually pretty transparent. If he's only able to see you on Tuesdays and Thursdays, won't give you his home phone number or tell you where he works, he's not super busy, shy or trying to take things slow: he's probably got several other women in his life. (Maybe one of them is his wife.)

I "dated" one such man while between relationships. My first inclination as a serial monogamist was to try to lure him into being my boyfriend. But I quickly realized that 1) It wasn't happening and 2) It was actually hotter the way things were. There was no settling down with us: every time we went out, he was in wine and dine mode. Every night together was like the first night, because when your whole relationship is based on the high of sex, there's no room for half measures. Without getting into the details, I did stuff with him that I'd never done to anyone before.

Was it love? Hell no. But it was fun! If I had played the victim, it could have been one of those "Women who love too much" stories. Recognizing him for what he was -- a fun detour -- allowed me the opportunity to enjoy being single. It's hard to care about your official dating status when you're having great sex and being made to feel gorgeous.

I'd recommend it to any woman who's feeling a little burnt out relationship-wise. Don't hate the player: play the game!

Comments ( 11 )

Ok we get it. Don't hate the player.

... can we hate YOU and you're moronic, lazy posts?

loobetchka commented on Jan 12 09 at 10:37 am

Loobetchka's as sensitive as Tipper Gore. If you don't like the posts, don't read them. And some of us actually enjoy the blog, so quit writing in first person plural, as if you represented all of internet-land.

Anonymous commented on Jan 12 09 at 11:56 am

I can only imagine the level of moron who would like this irrelevant, lazy, useless drivel.

The only semi-interesting about her is her looks and not even. You know it, I know it and most importantly SHE knows it.

loobetchka commented on Jan 12 09 at 1:19 pm

Loobs - We have been mutually bored of each other for quite a while now. So I can't understand why you insist on talking at me. Still.

Move on.

Anonymous commented on Jan 12 09 at 3:02 pm

I have a lover that fits this definition. It's fun for a while but ultimately feels empty. As much as I like sex, I do need there to be some kind of friendship beyong just the "game" for it to be fun.

Anonymous commented on Jan 12 09 at 3:39 pm

$5 says loobetchka is one of your old clients that just has to take his anger out on you. Don't stop writing babe : )

tearsofacid commented on Jan 12 09 at 7:51 pm

Apparently Loobetchka has a very, very boring relationship and a job he/she hates. Even then, there is an awful lot of stuff to read out there on the Internet. Why read things you hate?

I'm reminded of those folks who post "You're gay" as their response to every video on YouTube. Of course, these head-scratching replies are likely more attention than he/she/it probably gets in its real life, so there's that.

Do you have the ability to block blog posters? Not that it wouldn't create a sock puppet to continue it's incredibly trenchant and amusing comments, but still . . .

anathema_teatime commented on Jan 14 09 at 12:52 am

P.S. I really like your posts. The others bloggers on this site range from sympatico (Airhead) to amusingly irritating (Zeitgeisty), but you're a welcome breath of pervy goodness.

anathema_teatime commented on Jan 14 09 at 12:53 am

Mmmmm... pervy goodness!

It never ceases to amaze me that the people who constantly talk about sex and their various perversions are a) usually the worst at it and b) are completely unsexy.

loobetchka commented on Jan 13 09 at 5:17 pm

Kate C - Yeah, it's not really the best for a long-term situation. But it's certainly fun for a minute!

Tearsofacid - It wouldn't totally shock me if that was the case. But IME, disgruntled clients are a whole other level of crazy, rather than just trolls.

Anathema - Thanks!
I'm not given blocking power-- though you'd think it would be part a standard part of the blogging software. It would probably devolve into a game of whack-a-screenname anyway, and who has the time?

Anonymous commented on Jan 13 09 at 5:58 pm

As someone who vacillates every so often between monogamist and... well, not, I think you've hit the nail on the head. When I'm dating a number of women at once I'm doing it because I get high on that first-date rush and I don't really see myself with any of the women past the three-whatever marks (three days, three weeks, three months... whatever).

Once I find a woman whose microbes I can see myself growing symbiotic with I can settle down, but until then being in A-game mode is way more fun than walking around an apartment in underwear and socks being asked whether or not I remembered to buy coffee. "Jesus Christ, I've never done that before" is way more fun, but then someone falls in love and gets hurt.

If more people (myself included) could realize when it was just about the experience of takeoff maybe the landing wouldn't be so filled with explosions and people running around with melted shoes and their hair on fire.

As a father I've learned that petulance is best met with silent indifference. I suggest that technique for loobetchka, who is clearly a troll.

jermyn commented on Jan 15 09 at 11:00 am

Don't Hate the Player: Realize It's Just a Game

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