Ever since the birth of the medium, there have been sex-drenched music videos. But truly sexy videos that don't devolve into corniness or porniness are much trickier to pull off. As such, there have been only a handful of truly sexy videos. Many have been lost to time; others aren't publicly available due to copyright enforcement. But we found fifty we've long loved to love. As always, we encourage a brawl in the Feedback section over our selections — go Altamont on our asses. Give it to us Woodstock II style. We'll keep swinging.
There's no more sure-fire way to kill something's intrinsic comedic value than to try to examine what makes it funny. The minute you start thinking, you stop laughing. So why, then, have Hooksexup and IFC.com devoted an enormous amount of time, manpower, monetary resources, server space and posh catered lunches to the pursuit of ranking the boob tube's finest sketch comedy offerings?
In part, we're here because magical new technology (*coughYouTubecough*) allows us to do more than just pontificate for paragraphs on end — now we can pontificate for paragraphs on end and provide audiovisual evidence to back up those pontifications. We provide the context, share our thoughts and feelings, and let you commence with the guffawing and, naturally, the disagreeing. After all, the comedy sketch — short, sweet, completely silly or shot through with social commentary — worms its way into the public mind like nothing else, and has easily made the leap to the web when other forms have faltered.
Any list is bound by the limitations set on it — consciously and unconsciously — by its creators: we kept our 50 selections to stuff that's appeared on television by choice, and to what's appeared in English out of necessity. One must also bear in mind the availability of material; who knows what comedic treasures are lost to us because they simply don't exist anymore?
But of the sketch comedy that remains viewable, this is some of the best. Is the list definitive? That's for you, the audience to tell us. And we're sure you will, loudly and angrily. Before you do you, though, remember: it's comedy. Best not to overthink it.
This Jennifer Beals/Jennifer Lopez hybrid proves to be music-video alchemy. J. Lo's third single may be long forgotten by top-forty radio, but fans won't forget the video, which features choreography by Jeffrey Hornaday, who reprises his work from Flashdance.
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49. Rilo Kiley, "The Frug" (1999)
Rilo Kiley were unknown at the time of this song's release. It was only through this video, and the song's inclusion in a long-forgotten Christina Ricci film, that they were signed to a record label. Jenny Lewis can sing to us from her bedroom anytime.
48. Tim Deluxe, "It Just Won't Do" (2001)
We'd never heard of Tim Deluxe until we saw this video. Turns out, he's a British dance producer, as well as the dude in the lawn chair reading a copy of The Origin of Species. But there's something strangely hypnotic about this video, and it's not just the panty-less ass in the leopard-print loincloth. Is it the never-ending slow-motion struts across the stadium floor? The athleticism? Or the fact that the video remains strangely fixated on the referee's calls: Sorry, missy, that ball was outside the line!
47. U2, "All I Want is You" (1989)
Possibly the most romantic video on this list, this rarely seen but essential early-MTV staple features a climax (not the sexual kind, unfortunately) in which a little person (played by a not-yet-famous Peter Dinklage) working as a circus freak appears to kill himself over his impossible love for a trapeze artist. Does she strip for him? Or for her boyfriend, the Strong Man?
46. God-des & She, "Lick It" (2007)
God-des & She are lesbian hip-hoppers from New York who have yet to make it really big, but this song kills and the video is off the hook. Featuring the prolific drag king Murray Hill as the sex instructor, it makes us want to laugh out loud and take a cold shower at the same time. The game of "pin the g-spot on the vagina" is just one of many things that got this banned from MTV.
45. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, "Into the Great Wide Open" (1991)
This is an essential inclusion for, if nothing else, the presence of Johnny Depp and Burn Notice's Gabrielle Anwar. But there's also a barrage of fun cameos, including by Terence Trent D'Arby, Faye Dunaway, Chynna Phillips of Wilson Phillips, and Matt LeBlanc.
44. Justin Timberlake, "What Goes Around . . . Comes Around" (2007)
An epically pretentious production, but Justin and Scarlett seducing each other has got to count for something. Directed by the same guy who did "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and co-written with Nick Cassavetes, this is actually more a short film in the vein of old Michael Jackson videos with big-name directors like Martin Scorsese.
43. Björk, "Pagan Poetry" (2001)
Björk's personal brand of abstract sexuality is slathered all over this video. We're also big fans of "All Is Full of Love" and "It's Oh So Quiet," each one showcasing the ultimate in lovelorn, weird-girl hotness.
42. MSTRKRFT, "Easy Love" (2006)
MSTRKRFT's video for Easy Love is sure to color your next trip to Jamba Juice in erotic overtones. A clever half-ironic take on videos that employ the sexy buttoned-up-secretary cliché, the straw-between-the-lips closeup and the superfluous use of allegedly alluring fluids. And yet, we're still turned on.
41. Beastie Boys, "No Sleep Till Brooklyn" (1987)
They were never conventional sex symbols, but when we were in high school, the Beasties gave all the cocky, goofball, do-anything-for-a-laugh class clowns that we were attracted to a serious run for their money.
