Walking to the post office with Jonathan Ames is like taking a stroll with Rahm Emanuel. The pace is fast; his phone is a mobile show-business war room. The cap-adorned writer is dapper in a blue oxford, dappled in a late-summer sweat, and rushing to meet the 5 p.m. postal cut-off. I have to gallop slightly to keep up with his long stride. As he opens the post-office doors, he fields a call about a dominatrix who would like to interview him while he's bound and... being dominated.

It's an exciting time to be Jonathan Ames. His essays are known for their brutal honesty and hilariously explicit detail about bodily functions, break-ups, and doomed love — (genital) warts and all. A lot (all?) of it is true. Helping smudge the distinction between the author Ames and his literary alter-egos is the fact that his protagonists are often named Jonathan Ames.

Such is the case with his latest creation, the new HBO show Bored to Death. The series' anti-noir plot follows a struggling, Jewish Brooklyn writer named Jonathan Ames (played with quirky, disarming affection by Jason Schwartzman), who after a break-up decides to change his life by becoming a private detective. Craigslist, pot, and his best friend Ray (Zach Galifianakis) and mentor George (Ted Danson) are also involved; hilarity ensues.

[caption id="attachment_1110" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Jonathan Ames"][/caption]

As we waited in a sado-masochistically long postal line, Ames fielded the dominatrix-interview request with the HBO powers-that-be. Afterwards, he spoke to Hooksexup about his new show, casting a celebrity to play himself, love and loss, and why he's never, ever bored to death. — Jennifer Prediger

I heard you had Jason Schwartzman shadow you, to research playing "Jonathan Ames"?
Jason — and he would say the same thing — isn't playing me. But as part of his research in playing a character named Jonathan Ames (or playing someone who lives in Brooklyn), he spent time with me. Someone who's playing a butcher might go hang out with a butcher. It was a way for us to get in sync, because he has to carry the show — so he really has to know what I'm thinking and feeling and what I wanted.

You two even wrote the show's theme song together. How did that work?
I sent Jason lines and words that were coming to my mind, like "All the shadows in the city." Then he added lines, then I added a few lines. He's an incredibly talented songwriter and musician, so it was really cool that I got to do that with him.

In certain episodes, Jason has to tail people as part of his private investigating. Any comments on the "tail job," or advice on how someone could do their own tail job?
Jason introduced me to the film Stolen Kisses by [Francois] Truffaut, in which a young man briefly becomes a private detective. It's one of Jason's favorite films, and one of the things that made him want to do the show. We wanted him to not be a very good follower, like the guy in the movie, so I told Jason to do this sort of serpentine motion when he's following this guy through the drug store — as if by moving serpentine fashion, he won't be spotted. To me, that was a reference to Animal House, when Belushi goes to penetrate the school, and someone says "Serpentine!" That was a big movie for me, as a kid, Animal House.

Back to your show. Ted Danson plays a high-powered, hilarious mentor to Jason Schwartzman.  Did I get a glimpse of you, twenty years from now?
Ted Danson is just a wonderful, sweet human being. I mean, I got to make such nice, new friends doing this. Jason's like my wise, younger brother who counsels me, and Ted is like my wise older brother who counsels me. There's just a real fondness.

Ted's character says at one point that "all love is projection." That's such a philosophical moment for a TV show.
With almost everything I write, shortly thereafter I don't know if I believe it anymore. I guess in the moment I don't disbelieve it, but I have amnesia about everything I write and I just sort of move on.

I think one of the things he's trying to say is that we share realities. He says, "I'm in your movie, and you're in my movie and we each have our secret thoughts while the movie is going on, and to try to find a place of connection. Not being alone is very difficult." Language is the thing that connects us, but language is just symbols and flawed and imperfect. That's why sex is so important to people, because it's a chance to at least physically connect, and maybe drop barriers and be known. I guess the best moments of sex are when you kind of lose your self-consciousness together. Doesn't always happen, it's sort of rare, actually. So a lot of sex is probably projection, a fantasy, as well as physical pleasure.

Was there anything particularly awkward that happened on-set?
I really don't recall any awkward moments. There was a scene in episode six, which I don't want to give away, but it involved erotic physicality between Jason and an actress, and just trying to find the right way to get him in position so it looked realistic. The actress was very open-minded. Potentially, it could have been awkward, but there were no calamities. I mean, we had to fake a herpes blister [on Ted Danson]; we may have gone too far, so we had to dial that down in post-production.

What's it like to go from the more solitary writing workday, to being on-set?
Sets to me are fun, because it's people gathered to make art. There's pressure because there's a lot of money involved, but overall it's quite fun; it's like summer theatre. And movie sets are interesting because the crew has to be like a military unit, with everyone being responsible and working hard, with certain duties and hierarchies. But it's a benign military unit — rather than having the goal to kill, they have the goal to make.

When I was in college, I came up with a fake (or real) art movement called Mama, as opposed to Dada. I had perceived Dada as being an art movement that made fun of the art world. Hence, Duchamp's upside-down toilet seat, saying "This is ART!" — sort of making fun. The Mama art movement was, "We don't make fun. We have fun." It was more procreative, like a mother, hence "Mama." Whereas Dada is a more punitive form of art silliness. So the movie set is my own version of Mama — to have fun.

What was it like working with Zack Galifianakis?
Zack is somewhat inscrutable, but just very solid. He's got a great improvisational talent but he's also a great actor. It's something that I said in my HBO creator's blog, I love the moments when he's vulnerable and tender. I mean, he's pretty much a curmudgeon in the show, but he's got a lot of range. When he lets down his guard, he's kindly and sweet.

Why "Bored to Death"? Were you bored when you wrote this?
One of the things I've said before was that the title is misleading. I don't like people who get bored. Let me rephrase that — I think being bored is not the best quality a person can have. I mean, the Ted character comes closest to being bored in the show — because he's seen it all and, I think rightly so, he wants to avoid being bored. Being bored is a terrible place. Personally, I'm almost never bored. The Jason character is the opposite of bored; he's very curious and open. The Ted character, though, he's on the verge of boredom, which is why he's drawn to Jonathan. But he's to be admired because he wants to run away from it.

You're having a big year: beyond Bored to Death, you also wrote the script for the upcoming film The Extra Man, starring Katie Holmes and Paul Dano.
I love the fact that I was given this opportunity. I don't know, I've never made a TV show before, or directed a movie, but certainly writing novels, you see everything in your mind. So I was able to take these scenes or moments I saw in my mind, and get all these other people to bring it to life. That was really good. I love all the friendships I've made. And it's also cool to write something and give lots of people work. And then, too, I hope people are entertained and find some distraction or a little bit of happiness and feel good about being alive when they watch the show. These are all very Pollyanna answers, but that's what's coming out of my mouth.

How has your life just changed?
It's sort of like aging. You don't fully notice because things creep up on you gradually. Like, "Woah! I'm driven places more now. When did that start happening?" But I haven't changed my lifestyle really in any way. I can be more helpful to other people. The biggest change was that I have to be someplace all the time. I used to not have to be anywhere. I was my own boss — I didn't pay me very well, but I set my own hours. That was the biggest adjustment. I was a bit like a feral cat who suddenly had to be somewhere at 6 a.m., and had to do meetings and conference calls.

What was it like having your own red-carpet premiere?
The best part was to have my parents there and to see how happy they were. We all have many selves, and one of my selves is to be a good Jewish boy, so it made me happy to see my parents so happy. It was kind of like the wedding I may or probably will never have.

You're such a good son. I guess this won't be a scandalous Hooksexup interview, dammit.
But people can go on the archive and read my stories for the scandal!