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Reader Feedback on "Take My Wife, Please"
This is best description of the lifestyle I've found anywhere...so very true for us in so many ways.
--D&C
06/17 |
Extremely well written and insightful. I have successfully encouraged my wife repeatedly to have sex with my best friend of 40+ years. This has gone on for several years. He is in an unhappy marriage and benefits greatly from the intimacy. I am sexually active with my wife but am unable to perform as well as my firend does (it turns out he is a stud, able to have sex for longer periods of time, etc), and my wife tremendously enjoys the situation. This occurs two to three times per year as we are "protected" by a distance of over 1000 miles (somehow this infrequency helps us all feel better about it and look forward to the occurances with thremendous sexual energy). Anyway, the article was impressive in its depth and accuracy.
--bh
05/26 |
Great article, and responses. In her book "The Happy Hooker" Xaviera Hollander described a portion of her high powered executive clientele who desired to be very submissive. Her explanation was something to the affect that some captains of industry types desire to balance their DOMNESS with occasion acts of extreme submissiveness; as in being blindfolded and then going down on her until a black man enters the room and inserts his LARGE penis into the client's mouth. I'm an in-charge entrepreneur type who was initially amazed when unusual events led to me watching my wife getting royally fucked by a guy who was much better in bed than me, and it excited the hell out of me. I was pretty confused for some time before I regained my footing, so to speak. In our case, the experience eventually led to win/win/win. My wife loves watching me service her and her lover, since I'm normally bossy, and sometimes an intolerable asshole, admittedly. She's normally a prim and proper conservative, so I love seeing her slutty side. Our arrangement is that she can fuck whomever she wants, as long as I'm present. I, on the other hand, am committed to being sexually faithful, which isn't a problem at all.
--Bbh
04/30 |
Thank you so much for writing this article! Great to see a little exposure on such a touchy subject.
--WES
10/28 |
i enjoyed your article. i have a very sexy asian wife who sometimes fantasizes about having sex with hung black men. i admit it kind of turns me on but we both hesitate to follow thru with those fantasies. we have a good marriage and five wonderful boys - why put our marriage at risk?
--mgm
10/23 |
I must strongly concur with the feedback by F&A. A cuckold relationship has a hotwife, but a hotwife doesnt have to have a cuckold husband, and definitely not latently bi or gay. There is a range in this lifestyle from swinger-like mfm 3somes, watching without any humiliation, even the wife going on “dates” with a trusted partner and coming home with the details and evidence for her and her husband to enjoy on one end all the way to humiliation and submission of the husband at the other. What you were describing in the article was the extreme end of the spectrum. The fact is that nearly half of all women (and men) cheat during the marriage. This allows a fun expression of these desires for men who aren’t inclined to stray and the wife who doesn’t want her husband to see other women, but who will see other men if she has the permission of her husband. The competition instinct in a man is biological and strong. When I see my wife having sex with another man, it reminds me that I have to give her what she needs in the way she needs. We are both very aroused, and we have an enhanced and active 1-on-1 sex life, both before and after our hotwife playing. After 20 years of marriage when most couples are lucky if they have sex and intimacy once a month, we have an active sex life of up to several times a week.
--M&T
06/21 |
Great article. In doing as much research as I could on the web, it is frustrating to see a lot of judgmental people putting down the cuckolding fetish/lifestyle and explaining it away as either latent homosexuality or pure submissiveness. The truth is that it is extremely psychologically complicated and cuckolds who are asked why enjoy watching their wives have sex with other men excites them will often not know how to answer the question (that is a prevalent aspect of the cuckold message boards). A lot of guys say they just enjoy watching their wives happy or getting pleasure, but there are so many layers that such an explanation is really just the superficial answer. I know this from experience because I am a 'secret cuckold' (ie, I have not had the guts to tell my fiancee that want to see her have sex with other guys) and I have spent countless hours trying to figure out when/how/where this desire manifested itself and if it is just a vicarious prurient interest or if I could actually go through with this in real life. One other prevalent aspect not covered in the article is that a lot of the messages on the average cuckold message board is actually fantasy. When you read a post that sounds more like a Penthouse Letter to the editor, you know someone's just living out fantasy. But those types of people are usually welcome in the community because wanting to be a cuckold (and not ever realizing it) is still a part of a psychological and sexual predisposition that most 'regular' people don't understand. It's kind of like a support group.
--SC
06/01 |
Very good article. My wife and I have been married seventeen years and I have been a cuckold for about eight of those. We are a well adjusted late 30s couples with two kids, careers, spiritul life etc. One thing to note from our perspective, is it's not all about sex. There is an emotional involvement and even love between her and men she has dated over the years. There is nothing wrong with that and it need never threaten a marriage. Some People (and some would argue women in particular) are better emotionally wired to love more than one person.
--RA
05/11 |
Very interesting article that doesn't go into the differences that those in the hobby see between a cuckold relationship and a hotwife. At times the lines are quite blurry and of interest more to those in it that others looking in. Like most things it isn't simple and there is no established firm lines, someone looking in from the outside sees all of the husbands as cucks while those of us into this see the fine distinctions but don't always agree with others ideas on hotwife verus cuckold. A site called Your Hotwives is one of the better ones to explore this interest. We started with a mfm years ago, I was trying to get my wife to trying swinging. She enjoyed the mfm a lot and we kept a relatioship with her first lover for now about twenty years. No sex between them now but only due to distance. They started as sexual partners, became friends and at one point they realized they loved each other. We were friends as well and we would go out as a threesome as well as my wife and her friend/lover going out on dates. We did try swinging and it was fun, parties for the most part since we had problems finding a couple that all four of us wanted to play. We found that she enjoyed sex with more than one man at a time and more than one man during the evening. We talked about it and drifted back to us playing mfm with the right guys. I got to enjoy watching more and she liked being able to concentrate on her lover. After more time we found that she enjoyed having sex with other men and I enjoyed watching, joining in at times or hearing about it when she got home from a date. She tells me that she enjoys me watching, it turns her on and then I don't ask so many questions but she also feels a certain freedom in going out with a lover without me along. She has spent the night with a few lovers and that was hot. She also used to go out with lovers when I was gone on a trip. Not sure why but now we are exploring more cuckold things, she likes Alpha males and I love seeing her with one. She likes to relax and let her lover be in charge in ways she will not let her guard down with me, she says it is okay to be that way with them since she isn't spending the rest of her life with them. I like seeing and helping her get ready for a date and enjoying her when she gets home. I like going out and seeing her and her lover be a couple and she gets turned on by public affection with her lovers with and with out me watching. She enjoys the freedom she has with lovers as well as the sex, friendship and yes the good times on the dates. She does view her lovers as the primary person when they are together and I feel that is what she should do. I kind of know what she likes in a lover and I do the first cut or two, but she has really enjoyed men that I didn't think she would and not liked men that I thought were perfect. Race and endowment are not critical factors to her but she says she enjoys a tall clean cute businessman type that is average or better endowed. However she likes a friendship and if she doesn't like the guy nothing else matters. I admit I enjoy seeing her with a black or latino lover since I love the contrast but I would rather see her with a man that really turns her on than one that is huge or black or whatever. We do plan to explore more of the cuck aspects but only in ways that turn us all on, her lovers included. The real power is with her, in a certain way then her lover and then me but I as well as everyone else also has a veto power and we all know that so a certain amount of this is role playing. I don't see any denial or anything like that but I enjoy eating her afterwards, she does enjoy her lovers bareback and she likes being ready for them so usually no sex for me a day or so before a date. I think it will be more of a subtle emotional thing for her to be a bit sub to her lover and me to take up the rear being sub to them both, helping, waiting, watching what ever to help them have a great time. It is hot and at the same time relaxing to see her with a man she really enjoys and there is a bit of jealousy at times and concern but that is part of the thrill, the danger and the risk. On real terms I don't think there is much risk, almost 30 years of marriage. She sees her role with her lovers as friend/girlfriend/lover/mistress and I enjoy her attitude. And after seeing her with sex buddies I enjoy seeing and knowing about the lovemaking with lovers far more and find it far hotter....and so does my wife. She enjoys the connection she feels with them.
--NWSC
05/07 |
Let me add myself to the list of people who think this was a very good article. It treats cuckoldry as it ought to be, as a choice and desire that free people make. I do, however, take issue with one part. I am a cuckold and I definitely prefer black bulls. Most discussion of the cuckold's preference for black men tends to reason as follows (a) it's a purely physical appreciation of black male sexuality, (b) purely physical appreciations based on race are racist, (c) the cuckold's preference for black men is racist. But this is just wrong. The one thing we've realized in the past thirty years or so is that it is perfectly acceptable to have purely physical appreciations of others, so long as we don't confuse our appreciations with their actual beings (and act wrongly towards them as a result). There are many reasons to appreciate black men. Some of them may be racist, but not all of them are. And, by the way, this Kai Ma is a really good writer. Is there a link to all her articles. If so, please send that link to [email protected] Thanks
--KG
05/05 |
Quite a tribute to the author that everyone feels the article is good. I agree. One point that I've noticed is that older people are often involved in Hotwifing (the brand of cuckolding in which the husband does not feel subordinate but rather equal to with the wife's lover). It is not uncommon for couples married three decades or more to participate in these activities. This is important to note given that we live in a culture where sexuality is usually portrayed as a young person's game.
--IH
05/04 |
Enjoyed the article, but feel that your readers need to know that there are those of us out here who enjoy HotWife adventures without the husband assuming the classic role of the submissive cuckold...not that there is anything wrong with that, if it's what you're into. My wife Ann is a HotWife and I am, and always have been, the alpha-male in every one of our threesomes. I maintain that position and control for several reasons, but primarily because that's where I'm most comfortable and, given the situation, where Ann's most secure. I want the guy that Ann's chosen to play with to know that we are a couple and that he's been cordially invited in as a guest in our sexual playground. I'm not saying that I, or we as a couple, hold him in a submissive role, sexually or otherwise, I'm always up for a challenge. And when it comes to pleasing my wife, there's no downside to having two guys trying to outdo each other as the best lover she's ever enjoyed! As far as latent gay tendencies on my part, Ann is bi (and I love that), I am straight, but I'm not homophobic. In a hot MFM session there may be some incidental male-male physical contact, and if it happens that certain positions generate such contact while we're both simultaneously sexually pleasing my wife, then it's just fine with me. That male-to-male contact on it's own is honestly no more sexually thrilling to me, personally, then one would expect by two men greeting by shaking hands. So please don't assume that every couple who enjoy HotWife adventures are in the classic cuckold relationship, or that the husband is latently gay and is simply enjoying transference through his wife's contact with another man. There are many couples just as Ann and myself, who enjoy their HotWife adventures as a couple's shared sexual experience (that just happens to include another guy!).
--F&A
05/04 |
as a cuck in a previous marriage i would have to agree with most of the article, i used to place ads for men and i would be the one to make the arrangements for the meeting. after they had both finished i would usually thank the man for fucking my wife and ask him if he would be willing to do it again. i got a lot of satisfaction out of being humiliated by this, my wife helped sometimes to make me feel that way, i am not all that big, not tiny but below average. i enjoyed very much seeing her experience sex that i could never give her and when she told me at the end of the evening not to bother her as she was too sore, that just about sent me over the edge.
--jw
05/03 |
Definitely a well-written article. Thanks also to the interview subjects for sharing their lives a bit with the interviewer and us. It raises a discordant logical point in my mind, however. If, as the article leads one to believe, much of the cuckolding community focuses on placing the husband in a submissive position to a more well-endowed man, is it not true that all other things being equal the wife would be happier with the more well-endowed man? That is, if she could have husband and bull in the same individual, is that not better? In some sense, it seems like the motivation for the husbands is to transcend their own physical limitations. But I wonder if it doesn't sometimes just reinforce them that much more. Or is there something inherent in the triangle of individuals that represents a more intense experience for all? No disrespect meant to any of the interviewees -- you're braver men than I! Cheers.
--WL
05/02 |
Great arcticle, thanks. There are psycological and spiritual aspects of cuckolding that do not always get addressed. I am personally more interested in those cuckolding relationships where the woman takes control and the bottom line is her control and satisfaction. Her male partner, in return, voluntarily submits. This attacks , in the male , the false sense of inherent male privelege imposed on him from birth. It is a cleansing of ego and rebirth into a more real and pure expression of himself; a spiritual release tweaked by a sexual release; and anchored in the manly strength to accept and embrace reality rather than in a weakness. For women it is a celebration of a natural power which has been blanketed with socially demonization and oppression so thoroughly that it is expressed in the very story of creation by the interactions of of Adam and Eve. Patriarchy served its evolutionary value during the Monumental Age of conquering the elements but it is being torn away by the current demands for coalescence being trumpeted by our shrinking planet in this Global Age. This move toward a more feminine way appears to be in its infancy. Patriarchy is most vulnerable at its core in personal relationships where the lie of dick-bearer as inherent master supports it. "Size Matters" may be the most effective campaign slogan since "Jesus Saves" whether or not either is entirely accurate.
--RKH
05/02 |
Interesting to read as my husband has more than encouraged me to have sex with other men. My husband does like to watch, will sometimes participate (MFM), and as mentioned in the article will always 'clean up'. One major difference with us is that I do not seek (and usually don't even enjoy) men that are extra-large. I will say that in the 20 or so hotwife experiences we have had over about three years, all have been just super erotic (my husband gets so turned on watching another man doing me), and I must say all have been the proverbial win-win and win situation.
--LK
04/29 |
very interesting piece. though i don't personally understand the submissive fantasy side of the equation, i did find myself finding the scenario arousing (from the the perspective of the cuckold). i have been giving some thought to why this is, and two factors come to mind: First, because we men are visually stimulated animals, and the great irony is that when we are having sex, we are sometimes frustrated that we are can't see the whole thing. doing the fucking is sometimes a disadvantaged visual perspective, as bizarre as that sounds. You need to be outside of your own body and a few feet back to full take in the act. One way to accomplish this is with a video camera, another with a "bull." second, i think its hot to see other guys hot for your wife. pre-marriage, there are always other men sexually interested in your girlfriends, and there is something sexually charged about this dynamic. there is a dominant element to the circumstance in addition to the submissive -- you are giving someone else the privilege of being with your hot wife as an act of magnaminity, the way some wall street guy might throw you the keys to his sports car (forgive the metaphor). you know that its yours, and by allowing others to see how good it is your are reminding yourself how lucky you are. arousal is a funny thing. i would never have predicted that i would have found this scenario arousing.
--stj
04/27 |
Excellent article. What I feel is doesn't quite touch on is the new wave of "Alpha Female" cuckoldresses, Lipstick Feminists who take the lead in the cuckolding relationship. Sites that trailblazed on this are scandalouswomen.com and the no-longer-online evildiva.com. Of course, the mainstream media are always slow to pick up trends. Good to see cucklding being covered. Perhaps in another five years we'll see the dominant female who coerces her man into this type of relationship covered as well.
--SV
04/26 |
Great article. As a cuckold I'm glad that she addressed the Interacial thing. I've always found the "black cock" thing to be an annoying part of the cuckold community. I don't care who my girl's parters are - as long as they make her happy so when I see people go on and on about "bbc" it always makes me a bit uncomfortable.
--BJC
04/26 |
Once again, an interesting and cutting edge topic from Kai Ma. As a married person, I have heard of such lifestyles, but only in the context of jokes and loose stories. Never have I read something in such detail. I was thoroughly captivated and realized how very little I knew about it and its pervasiveness. What was most interesting was the dicotomy of the "cucks" sumitting themselves to the humiliation of another man having sex with their wives/girlfriend, but also feeling that they were not inferior to them. Strange, intriguing but intangible in my own life....... Great article! Cheers!
--LT
04/24 |
This was a really well written article, I learned a lot. I especially appreciated the discussion of the various psychological implications of cuckolding. I enjoyed the sections about the white wife/black bull fetish. Also, the part analyzing which of the three people involved in a cuckolding relationship is really in control. I further enjoyed how different each of the stories were. Each person had a fairly different outlook on cuckolding, which made me think of them as individuals rather than "cuckolders". The fact that these people were willing to discuss this kind of thing with anyone is amazing to me. There must have been a lot of respect involved.
--GMK
04/24 |
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