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Reader Feedback on "Shell Game"
Actually, I once dated a guy for two years who went mostly cold-turkey on the nuts and was willing to hit the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his hands obsessively after meals out so he could touch me. You're not alone. Good luck. But tell people: the folks you educate about your allergy may be able to save someone else's life, even long after they've passed out of yours.
--ABR
02/03 |
Thank you, rr. I was rather infuriated this morning reading the writer's comment blaming mother's for passing food allergies to their children through breastmilk. While that is sometimes true I would bet that either one, or both of her parents also have food sensitivies or asthma issues. My 6-year-old son, who has numerous allergies and asthma, is doing NAET. I am also doing NAET with acupunture because it turns out that I have allergies as well (surprise!) although I do not express them the same way my son does. My body has more of an absorbtion problem. Information is at naet.com, for any of you allergic/asthmatic Hooksexup readers. The therapy is a bit out there, and involves reprograming the nervous system using acupunture to not react to a known allergen. We are on a long road, but I am hopeful that it will help us both over time. So far we have had great results, most noteably in my son's healthy immune system, increased appetite and weight-gain. It's great to be doing something positive and not simply hoping that his allergies clear. [email protected]
---afs
02/02 |
...or, just tell people.
--CB
01/31 |
I've also done the decontamination line. I have airborne anaphylactic allergies to such obscurities as onion and garlic as well as more usual contact/ingestion allergies to fish, shellfish, tree nuts, etcetera. And if you think "don't touch me, I don't know where those hands have been" puts a cramp in your dating style you should try, "I can't walk in that direction, there's a Chinese restaurant down the block." Simply blaming the mother is a little shortsighted; blame genetics instead. If eating peanuts caused peanut allergy then everyone in the world would be allergic to peanuts, as every pregnant/nursing mother (except the allergic ones) comes in contact with them sooner or later. Rather there's a hereditary tendency to incline towards allergies. You could have a kid, never expose them to peanuts, and with a family history of allergy/asthma/eczema then your kid may possibly end up reacting to something else you'd eaten along the way. Dating and friendship are easy; we allergy freaks just have to stick together. My best friend's worse off than I am. My boyfriend has allergies, although milder than ours. He has other friends with allergies, one of whom died of hers. I told him about my allergies and my son's allergies and our hypoallergenic lifestyle right off and knew he was a keeper because he wasn't fazed in the least. He quit eating onion and garlic altogether because I would react to it coming out of his breath and his sweat hours later. And when I got pregnant I pointed out that the baby is pretty much guaranteed to have allergies... he said he's expecting that, and he's also expecting her to have a whole laundry list of other priceless qualities I'm a carrier for as well.
--rr
01/31 |
you´re certainly not the only one who has to say "sweetie, please decontaminate yourself". i´m not only allergic to nuts, but also milk, eggs, soy, and gluten intolerant to boot. of course it´s a pain in the ass, but you can look at it as something that ensures your dates are for real. if someone isn´t willing to make the effort they´re certainly not worth your time. other people may take a lot longer to discover they´re dating someone who doesn´t give a shit about them. i´ve never in my dating life come across anyone who wasn´t willing to make an effort, when it came down to it. keeping your allergies secret may seem easier, but trust me, it´ll makes it much harder for you in the long run. i think you´d find it a lot easier than you think to be open from the start.
--KH
01/31 |
Wow. I personally am not allergic to peanuts, but the laundry list of things I can't eat includes such staples as chicken. That's a little fucked up by anyone's standards, but what can you do? I'm glad I'm not alone in facing ridiculous dietary hurdles preventing me from getting as much ass as I'd like.
--MAG
01/31 |
Here's to EpiPens & Benadryl! I loved you story. I really resent the people who feign allergies because they think some food is "icky!" My worst nightmare...pulling an "Uma Thurman" Pulp Fiction style on a date. Nothing says sexy like a needle in the thigh!
--KLA
01/30 |
Fun read, although I can't quite fathom why the hell the writer can't just tell her dates she's deathly allergic to peanuts. There are worse things, doll.
--JC
01/30 |
I agree with EW. I'd like to sympatize with the writer but not disclosing information like this is just stupid. You're not exactly telling someone you're a sex offender. There's no stigma that I know of associated with the peanut intolerant. I wonder why the writer prefers this. Is this a crutch?
--RC
01/30 |
Wow, I thought I had it rough with just typical dating neurosis! Thanks for validating that it could be worse.
--SS
01/30 |
Wow. I never knew having an allergy to peanuts was so life-encompassing.
--BHL
01/30 |
This is just a sad sad story. The peaut allergy is by far the least of this woman's problems. My beloved cousin has a peanut allergy of identical magnitude that has had absolutely no ill effects on her dating life because she just TELLS people what the issue is. If their reaction isn't sufficiently sophisticated, she knows they aren't worth it anyway. And believe me, she got more action than anyone I know until she got married. If you aren't going to disclose a life-threatening condition right off the bat, how are you going to handle all the other issues of communication and transparency that come up every day in a relationship? Everybody gets a label-- I think "peanut allergic girl" is a better one to start out with than "inscrutably defensive and alienated non-communicator with a negative attitude" which is what "Shell Games" narrator is broadcasting by not explaining her behavior.
--ew
01/30 |
Actually, you're not the only one who has said "Sweetie, go decontaminiate yourself". That means neither am I. Thanks.
--et
01/30 |
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