I Did It For Science: Topless in the Park

Experiment: Under New York state law, all chests are created equal: both men and women can go topless in public, provided you expose your breasts in a manner "neither lewd nor intended to annoy or harass." On a hot summer day, would going topless in a public park prove empowering, or would I get burned?

Hypothesis: Guys do it all the time, and the law says I have the right to bare breasts. Moving this equal right from theory to practice should be just as relaxing as any other afternoon in Central Park.

Materials:
Breasts (literally)
Public Park
Balls (figuratively)

Method:
Even though I knew the law was on my side, female toplessness still felt like the medical marijuana of the east coast: legal but somehow illicit. I was nervous as hell the morning of my experiment. Even worse, I couldn't decide what to wear. I settled on gym shorts and a tank top, with a nice bra underneath since everyone would be seeing it. It was like getting ready for a hot date: I was apprehensive, flustered and had already decided how naked I'd get by the end of the night.

I promised a day of sunshine and laughs (perhaps at my expense) to two friends/bodyguards, and we arrived at the Sheep's Meadow in Central Park with blankets, books, and my boobs. The clearing was packed with sunbathers; although no one was topless, there were a rainbow of skimpy bikinis and skin across the lawn. We claimed a clear patch of land and, far sooner than I would have liked, it was time to take off my top. "Here," my friend Jim offered, removing his own shirt, "I'll do it too."

Easy for him to say, he's been doing this for decades, I thought as I pulled off my tank top. So far, so good, but still nervous as hell. I thought perhaps I could ease into the public nudity by acting like I was sun-bathing. I lay on my stomach and removed my bra, and rested a moment, thinking feminist and empowered thoughts. We were making progress, but I couldn't hide face-down all day.

So I sat up. My hand instinctively grasped my breasts for modesty, my bosom spilling over my fingertips. I didn't want to let go. "I'm gonna do it. I'm just gonna remove my hand," I said to no one in particular. And then I did.

Results:
There they were in the sunlight, the eyes of God and New York Penal Law 245.01 my boobs out, nipples blazing. The girls sitting on the blanket next to us giggled. Some passersby glanced over, smiles on a couple of the guys' faces. My nipple ring glinted in the sun. Amazingly, I felt relatively calm. Warm. Neither lightning nor cops had struck me down. Furtively looking around, I noticed some guys attempting to be respectful. Maybe they were just thinking be cool or she'll put her top back on, but gentlemen would glance over and grin, but rarely stare. No one cat-called or made lewd comments. So many people were showing skin, and it was so hot, my toplessness didn't feel like a big deal.

Five minutes in, however, my skin was sizzling. The Irish were not made to be a topless people. Rubbing SPF 15 onto my nipples made me feel a little dirty and a little silly for bringing only SPF 15. I tried to chat with my friends, but I found it hard to concentrate. More and more people were looking over at me, and when everyone's staring at you, you can't look anywhere for fear of making awkward eye contact. I may have been topless, but I was still shy. It's not common for me to make eye contact with strangers. It's even less likely if they're staring at my tits or taking pictures with their iPhones.

Three sunscreen applications later, my girlfriend Megan pointed out, "The trouble with sun bathing is I'm already bored. I want to get a hot dog or something." A quick scan revealed a hot-dog stand at the corner of the Sheep's Meadow, just outside the fence marking the lawn's border. I didn't know what would happen if we left the sanctuary. But for hungry, topless women everywhere, I would find out.

Comments ( 120 )

this is a sweet silly piece. science class should be more like this.

urb commented on Aug 26 09 at 10:51 pm

hey dar, are you a girl? if so, i suggest you do it and see if it's sooooo easy. if not, i suggest you shut the fuck up.

jez commented on Aug 27 09 at 10:19 am

Way to go! I've become a big fan of the nude beach... feels good to get the girls out in the sun, without all the giggling & pointing. For future reference... it's all about the spray-on suntan lotion, which spares you having to rub yourself all over ;)

wwc commented on Aug 27 09 at 11:45 am

This is so awesome. I frequently have the dream where I find myself naked in public, or often just topless, and instead of being embarrassed, I'm pissed off at everyone else making such a big deal about it. I don't have the guts to do it in real life, though.

HC commented on Aug 27 09 at 4:35 pm

Ketchup on a hotdog?

ces commented on Aug 27 09 at 4:50 pm

Way to go, pretty Irish girl. Do a sequel, but with more pictures next time.

FR commented on Aug 27 09 at 6:43 pm

I can't see your boobs, there's fast food in the way. Your prudishness with the photo kinda runs counter to the point of the article.

rar commented on Aug 27 09 at 6:45 pm

Big effin' deal.
This county is such a pack of prudes. (Well, maybe as bad as Iran)
Best idea for sunscreening the chest bumps: Have your boyfriend apply the potion.

MS commented on Aug 27 09 at 6:51 pm

Add "not" to that last message. You know where.

I am 70 years old! First time I went top less was on the Costa Del Sole in Spain and I was 30! Hard to do at first then became very easy and natural. America needs to wake up. There is nothing wrong with going topless or for that matter beeing nude. Dorian

dh commented on Aug 27 09 at 7:47 pm

You go girl. Keep up the good work. Why hide your nipples on the subway,I love nipples.

BRF commented on Aug 27 09 at 10:02 pm

is everyone crazy?! boobs are boobs. women have them, men don't. even though it's awesome she had the confidence to do this, it doesn't justify what is clearly beyond normal exposure. it's not about being sexist..it's a simple anatomical fact. keep your privates covered. i can't help how you choose to dress when the law's on your side, but more importantly, i, or anyone else, can't control what they see when they're standing in line at a hot dog stand. a little consideration would be appreciated by more than just me i'm sure.

ge commented on Aug 28 09 at 3:07 am

hey look what you turned yourself into....WALKING PORNOGRAPHY!!!!!!! go get some boots and stand on a street corner.

ks commented on Aug 28 09 at 3:09 am

Ok, I live in French Canada, and bare breasts are no big deal for us, first of all, most Montreal woman are tens compared to most Americans, so I am not very impressed. Even here in Montreal its hard to get impressed by all the tens, because it like a buffet so much available. Poor New Yorkers, i guess the smallest thing will create excitement, but here it takes a lot for us to get excited!

IJ commented on Aug 28 09 at 8:36 pm

Seriously guys (I mean Americans) I feel so sorry for you. In Europe women sunbathing hopeless are common view and there is no "funny smiles" from immature, sexually insecure guys. The porn industry in US is thriving but sunbathing naked is an act of feminism? How sad and hypocritical is that? Once again it made me realise that Europe is much more healthy sane mature and tolerant society. Just read those comments "keep your privates hidden", "walking pornography" had sad and funny is that. For me it's simply unthinkable that such a normal, perfectly healthy natural thing as woman sunbathing topless becomes an issue that should be discussed and rises so many different opinions.

KZ commented on Aug 29 09 at 4:09 pm

ks's vicious comment does not contribute to the discussion and does not meet the standards that should apply here. There always seem to be some who take advantage of the anonymity of the web to be nasty in ways that they would never be in person.

mns commented on Aug 29 09 at 6:29 pm

Somehow if you were serious, you would not have put such prudish pics in this article.

Hopefully someday this country will move beyond being outraged by public nudity. Alas that day will only come when the last vestiges of Mythology and Superstition (ie. religion) are wiped from its face.

SWC commented on Aug 30 09 at 3:50 am

I just wanted to say 'well done' for doing what you did in the park!
In Europe it's a normal thing for women to go topless, especially at the beach.
I like going topless as I don't like those ugly tan lines. Nobody ever stares or harasses anyone and it really shouldn't have been that stressful for you.
The people who gave you strange looks were probably just stunned by, or jealous of your beautiful body.
Having read your article, it seems some Americans are not used to such an environment.
But if it's never done by people again like yourself, maybe society will never change.

SF commented on Aug 31 09 at 12:55 am

I'm a guy. This is the same type of experience I had the first time I wore a kilt in public.

MW commented on Aug 30 09 at 6:46 pm

Poor Americans... I just returned from a holiday in R

PMJW commented on Aug 31 09 at 5:43 am

but why are your nipples covered in all the photos in the (great) article - ok in public but on the internet?

poh commented on Sep 01 09 at 12:05 am

Great Job, Meghan. NYC is the perfect place for this experiement and your piece is well-written, interesting and very, very funny.

BDC commented on Aug 31 09 at 1:30 pm

Thanks for doing this! One day hopefully us ladies everywhere will enjoy the same freedom guys do. It's stupid that my body has been so sexualized that I cannot even take off my shirt without guys turning into animals. And why should I have to change my behavior just because they cannot control themselves, hum?!

AH commented on Aug 31 09 at 5:10 pm

i'm a guy. stop saying we turn into animals! I dont care if she's topless. I guess most guys would look, but not go crazy. & why do women wear bras? i know i dont cause i'm a man but i also dont wear underwear. underclothes suck.
if u want to be topless then i guess its scary here but many countries they dont give a shit. i actually hate wearing clothes

mca commented on Aug 31 09 at 7:01 pm

I would have added one more piece of equipment to the list--a copy of the court decision. If a cop did challenge you it would be a lot easier to show them the law than have to show it to the judge.

LP commented on Sep 01 09 at 9:58 am

Megs you're my hero!

RB commented on Sep 01 09 at 11:47 am

Pics or it didn't happen.

An commented on Sep 02 09 at 12:52 am

Not only is she a cutie but she's witty too. Meghan, can I invite you to go out for a day of sunbathing with me?

JEM commented on Sep 01 09 at 3:44 pm

Wonderful and brave.

JRM commented on Sep 02 09 at 2:27 am

Wonderful story. I'm sure the country needs a whole lot more non-sexual breast exposure to get cured. Perhaps your honesty and bravery will inspire others. =)

TF commented on Sep 02 09 at 6:29 am

You're cute! Of course, I always did have a weakness for redheads!

JAM commented on Sep 03 09 at 12:02 am

Guys don't have a problem with women going TOPLESS. It is WOMEN that have a problem with other women going TOPLESS. What GUY wouldn't love to have women TOPLESS and BOTTOMLESS!

KM commented on Sep 02 09 at 1:30 pm

If MORE women went TOPLESS then it wouldn't be such a big deal.

TP commented on Sep 02 09 at 2:22 pm

someone said that the covering of your boobs in the pictures runs counter to the article. I disagree. In an article about being topless in a urban environment where it is legal but taboo, showing your nipples online where it is neither illegal nor taboo, makes it less than necessary to the validity of the story. The article was about facing a taboo. posting on the internet isn't. You just want to see nip. lol. But seriously great job meghan! really really well articulated, witty, and ballsy. you should really have your own column or something.

jc commented on Sep 02 09 at 4:22 pm

Not a big deal in Berkeley or SF - recently saw two topless women rollerblading in a farmers market.

rad commented on Sep 03 09 at 3:50 am

Great job Meghan! Don't let the haters get you down.

JW commented on Sep 03 09 at 3:19 pm

I applaud your courage. I also applaud all the politeness and respect demonstrated by the male-half of the population; it feels nice to see validation that not every guy is a ball of raging hormones who loses all sense of etiquette in the face of unexpected publicly displayed flesh. I am not surprised you were scorned by women; it seems in general people are harshest on their own.

I wonder what the reactions would be if you had been in a different park, like one in Brooklyn or The Bronx.

vpc commented on Sep 05 09 at 9:39 am

why not especially with a nice pair of tits like yours show them of

des commented on Sep 06 09 at 2:25 am

very brave. i remember how stressful it was to walk around my college campus in a skirt (i'm a straight dude). i felt like everyone was staring at me and judging me. go you

mgs commented on Sep 08 09 at 1:48 am

Meghan. I first encountered topless sunbathing in Manhattan the summer of 1975, on top of the building I was staying on CPW. Toplessness is also legal in Austin, Texas where I live now. You can go anywhere topless here. A public county park called Hippie Hollow is completely clothing optional. Only one of the reasons I love living in Austin! Great article, interesting insights. Lovely lady, too. Thanks for your courage.

Sam commented on Sep 09 09 at 12:03 pm

Meghan, I forgot to tell you, put on the SPF 70 in the comfort of your home and wear a loose top out to the sunning area. Then you don't have to feel uncomfortable applying to your naughty bits in public. Cheers.

Sam commented on Sep 09 09 at 12:06 pm

Great article! You should get it published in a widely-read periodical. Can't help but think how it will read in say, 20 or 30 years. Reminded me of those recountings by women in the 1930's who wrote of traveling to German nudist clubs. Once sensational, now commonplace.

sf commented on Sep 09 09 at 12:38 pm

so what the hell is the real law? Was the park employee correct? If it's a state law then she was wrong. Was it a Park rule? I'm surprised there was no followup on this. The whole article was "being topfree is my right!" and the ending was "oh, only as long as I'm sitting on a towel"

DS commented on Sep 09 09 at 2:05 am

Congratulations on exercising your freedom to be topfree. Here's the challenge - to make more people aware of their rights. So many assume it is illegal. There is only one way to achieve this, go topfree more often. Are you ready to spread the word of freedom to all? Make it Topless Tuesdays, every Tuesday. Continue on until at least three friends also join in the cause for freedom.

base commented on Sep 09 09 at 2:32 am

I applaud your actions. Thank you. I take issue with the person that called your actions pornographic, the person that referred to your breasts as "naughty bits", the person that thought they would die if they saw 70yr old nipples and those that only think what you did was good because you have "nice Tits" Man we have a screwed up society. Talk about poor body image and ignorance. Nobody has died (or had anything else negative happen) seeing someone naked or topless. Keep up the good work and ignore the neigh sayers.

rlm commented on Sep 10 09 at 4:41 am

Do you know that someone read this story and took your idea a step further? The article is called The science of going topless (thought you might be interested)
https://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-17712-Cleveland-Open-Relationships-Ex...

gwof commented on Sep 11 09 at 8:05 am

Good lord but Americans are so silly about boobs.

DJ commented on Sep 16 09 at 1:09 am

Strange that most of the negativity came from women.
What's that mean?

jhs commented on Sep 18 09 at 3:12 am

Have you ever noticed that nipples outnumber people two to one? I support equal rights for all nipples.

wzrd commented on Sep 22 09 at 3:46 am

lady, you have beautiful tatas. glad you got to flaunt them.

sk commented on Sep 24 09 at 8:38 pm

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