Talking to Strangers: Montreal, QC

Hooksexup asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

By Jana van Geest
 

 

Valérie, 32

Are you from Montreal?
Rosemère. I spent seven years in the States as well. 

How is dating in the States, compared to dating here? 
It is much more formal. It is dating. Here, it's kind of implied, when you have sex with someone. 

Do you mean that there's more of a focus on courting, there?
Yeah, definitely — which is odd, to me. It surprised me. People here — they're open about sex, and they see other people. It's not, like, dating.

Do you think Montrealers are less willing to commit?
Oh, definitely. Marriage is big out there. 

What does sexy mean to you? 
Intellectual. The intellect, and humour, and geekiness, is what I'm looking for. I really don't have a scale or a survey that I use. It really has to do with the connection. Sometimes, you just see someone, and you imagine how they have sex. Like, "Oh, I wonder how that person has sex," and if it would be sexy to you. 

What do you do to get someone's attention, if you're interested in them? 
My techniques are not sexy techniques. They're kind of like, just me acting completely ridiculous and doing the Gretzky slide. My techniques, guys don't see them as flirting. They're just like, "Yeah, that girl is pretty cool and funny, and she's probably not interested in me." And then I'm like, "What? I was doing the Gretzky slide for five minutes! That means I'm really serious!"

Can you explain to our primarily American audience what the Gretzky slide is?
It's when you score a goal, and then you just slide on the ice and pump your fists like this [pumps fists]. I've done that many times in bars, in high heels.

So you do it at guys you're interested in? You just go up in their face and… 
[laughs] No, they'll say something funny, or I'll say something funny, or we'll discuss something and we'll find that we have common interests that are not normal, and I'll Gretzky slide. I'll be like, "Yes!"

Have you ever done that in the bedroom? You know, after a particularly good session? 
I'm sure I have. I wouldn't let the opportunity pass me. I'd go, "That was awesome!" and slide on the floor. 

What do you wear when you want to feel sexy? 
Lingerie underneath makes you feel sexy, even though guys really don't care. Guys are just like, "Let's get it over with, let's get it off." But to me, it's important, whether they see it or not. You know it's under there. It makes you feel sexy.

Knee-high stockings?
I love those, but they're not practical if you're going to do the Gretzky slide. You have to think ahead about these things. I like full panties with a nice cut. 

I really like full panties that are sheer, so that you can see through them. 
Yes, that is nice. I don't have enough of those. But I can't wear those, knowing that. I get turned on. I tried, once, not wearing underwear. I got turned on. I was on the bus, and I had to put on underwear. I didn't even make it to the venue. 

You put on underwear on the bus? How did you do that?
I can get dressed and undressed with no one knowing. Being involved in wrestling, and being in the locker rooms with guys, you've got to find ways. You're just like, "Ta-da!"

You were a wrestler? 
Yeah, I trained for wrestling for a long time. 

Did that get you many dates? 
It got me admiration, and people who wanted to fuck me, definitely.

So we've established that the Gretzky slide is an important part of your dating procedure. Does that mean that your ideal date would include a hockey game? 
Oh yeah, definitely. Because obviously I will be talking about Lanny McDonald, as well. That's definitely something you need to know. His mustache traumatized me from early youth. 

So you don't like guys with mustaches? 
Yeah, I do, but we used to have this joke, me and my cousins, because we used to collect those hockey stickers, and we used to joke that they would put a Lanny McDonald one in every goddamn pack, as though it was a joke at the hockey card place. They were like, "Ha!" so that we would be like, "Fucking Christ, Lanny McDonald again!" But now I wish that I had kept all of them and made some sort of art. 

That would be ideal. It would be so hot if someone came home with you and saw your Lanny collage. 
Yeah! I bet they'd be like, "Lanny McDonald? Let's get married!" 

If you went over to somebody's house and saw that they had a Lanny collage, would that mean that they were your soulmate? 
Probably. 

 

Martin, 29

Were you born and raised in Montreal? 
Yeah. I was born in the South Shore, and then two months later moved to Montreal. I lived for a month in the States for a fencing thing, and I've spent a lot of time moving around, but I've lived in Montreal my whole life. 

Fencing is one of your hobbies? 
Yeah. Well, I had actually fenced for twenty years. So last year, or a year and a half ago, it ended. It was time for new things, to grow. 

Did you compete internationally? 
Yeah, in World Cups, North American Cups. I've fenced in England, Cuba, Mexico — places like that. I have friends who have traveled way more than that for tournaments, but I've been lucky enough that I was able to travel a fair bit. 

Are there many women involved in fencing? 
Oh, yeah, there are a lot of women! Obviously men and women aren't allowed to compete against each other, but we often assist at the same tournaments, the same weekends.

Did you ever hook up with any ladies through that? 
Yeah. Because you spend so much time doing something, obviously a lot of the people that you meet are in that, so I definitely did date some women who fenced. I hooked up with a couple of friends in the States. It's no different from school. You bump into the same people again and again.

What are the advantages of dating someone who fences? 
Travel. You get to travel together, often to the same tournaments. It's just like a little social club that travels around the world. 

Do fencers have any physical attributes that would be advantageous to dating? 
Oh, their legs, their butts. [laughs] Definitely, definitely. When I was about nineteen, I had seen the Hungarian women's team fencing, and, uh… yeah, I was very happy. Very attractive women, but more than that — I mean, just beautiful, solid bodies. Like any sport, things develop in different areas, but fencing is all about the legs and the... backside. 

Are those important features for you now? Did that make a permanent impression on you? 
Absolutely. I'm not entirely sure if it's specifically because of fencing, but I've always liked a, you know, fairly meaty leg. You know, nice and strong. But I remember, when I was about twelve or thirteen, Salt-n-Pepa was on TV, in those bike shorts. I forget what song it was, but all their little bicycle shorts kind of appealed to me. 

Is that the one where they're checking out guys on the beach? 
It might have been. 

I fucking love that video so much. 
I'll tell you, it was a bit of an epiphany for me, because I was so young, going, "I really like this! I love it!"

Has anyone ever tried to use a bad pickup line on you? 
You know, I can't be certain if this was a pickup line, or if it was just someone genuinely trying to meet me, but a deaf girl once wrote on a paper, "Would you like to be my friend?" and slipped it to me while I was waiting at a subway station. 

And did you want to be her friend? 
Yeah, I mean, we spoke a little bit. I was young, and she was young, and things drifted apart. But without having to call it necessarily a pickup line, or cheesy, it was unique.

 

Scarlett, "ageless"

What do you do in life? 
I am a producer — I produce the Montreal Burlesque Festival, I produce the Grand Burlesque Show, and I'm also a burlesque performer.

Does that ever get you dates?
Well, I'm married. But I'm sure I would get some dates, if not. I think I would be able to pull that off. 

Did you meet your husband through burlesque? 
Not at all. I met him when I was a manager in a restaurant, and he was a customer there — and he courted me for about a year. After about a year of, you know, schmoozing and sweet words, one day he stole a kiss from me, and that was it. 

Why did it take him a year to woo you? 
Because even though I take off my clothes really easily, I am very hard to catch. [laughs]

Would you describe yourself as old-fashioned when it comes to relationships? 
No, not really. It's just that I like the courtship. I like the foreplay. I think we're missing that nowadays.

What qualities do you think are most important in a man?
In general, I like a man to be sophisticated. I like a man who has lots of different interests — you know, not only sports, but maybe arts. A little bit about fashion, a little bit about everything. One who's interested about what's happening in the world, out there. To be open-minded, as well… especially with what I do, you have to be open-minded, and you have to love the arts, and you have to appreciate traveling and meeting new people. 

Were you doing burlesque before you met your husband? 
I was already married when I started doing burlesque. I've never been involved with anyone else but my husband since then, so I don't know how other men would react. It was a tough pill to swallow for my husband when I started, because we didn't know where it would go. But I'm very professional, and I'm a very driven woman. I like to work really hard to take something and make it bigger and grow. I enjoy the process. So it wasn't only, "Oh, I'm going to get on stage and I'm going to get naked." There's so much more to it than that, and my husband really got involved himself, and gave me a hand, and supported me while I was doing that. If I disrespect him, I disrespect myself. If I make him look like a fool, I'm going to look like an awful person in front of everybody, too, so why would I do that? 

How does your involvement in burlesque influence your sexuality?
I don't think it does, much. I grew up in France, and we go to the beach topless, so for me, I don't even think about it — it's normal. Burlesque has always been a reflection of what I already am. But I can understand that for some people, you get to know your body, what part you like most about your body and how to bring it forward, and how to play with it, and how to present it to people. And that can bring confidence in the bedroom. But in my case, I was already comfortable. In France, it's okay — we're really forward with sex and we talk about it all the time. 

So you think your performing is a natural extension of your personality? 
Absolutely. It's not a character — it's really who I am. I'm not pretending to be somebody else when I step on stage. It's me. Emphasized, a little more extravagant. But it's the same person.