Kyle, 25

Kyle, what do you do for a living?
I'm a security dispatcher for a hospital in San Francisco.

Does that get you laid ever?
Not so much. I mean, I always manage to get myself dates. But I have a girlfriend right now.

How long have you guys been together?
Six years.

Okay, so you're in love then.
Yeah, I guess you could say that.

Did you date a bunch before settling down with this girl?
I mean, not a lot but yes, I definitely dated some girls.

What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you during sex?
Well, this girl didn't tell me she was on her period and we did the deed. That was pretty crazy.

Really? That's the craziest thing — that's your craziest sexual mishap?
I mean, it was pretty gross. I was like, seventeen. My sexual life was pretty tame. I thought she probably should have told me. I would have liked a little forewarning. I don't want to put my dick in a vagina that's bleeding, you know?

What's the craziest request you've ever gotten from somebody you're sleeping with?
To choke a girl, I think. Now, in my sexual life, I'm very experimental. I'm pretty much into anything.

Like what?
I had a girl lick my ass while I came. That was pretty crazy. Sexually, it was pretty awesome. But throughout my life, especially in San Francisco, I've come across so many different kinds of people. It's expanded my mind. Some people might not like it — I mean, I don't get my ass licked every day. It was a surprise, but I definitely won't question it. I'll do it to girls though, I don't mind anything. My friends make fun of me all the time. I don't think sex is embarrassing — I watch porno like it's regular TV. I learn. I don't sit there and get hard — it's a learning experience. I watch the guys, I watch the girls, and I learn.

There's always room for improvement. I know some people who say that they only give head to get head. Thoughts?
No way, I love doing it, I'm into it. For sex, you have to be into it. I've had girls give me blowjobs and if they're not into it, I tell them to stop. I've grown to the plateau where it's not just sex. It's all intimate; it's not so much about busting a nut. It's more about a human-to-human connection. It's different for everyone. It's about passion. There's love-sex and then there's pure enjoyment. I've done both, and I think the love part is the best.

 

Kristen, 25

What is your definition of love?
That's a big question. It's finding someone who makes you feel good about yourself for the rest of your life. I've been in love twice. I felt like the deepest part of me was reciprocated. If they can make me laugh...

How did you meet the guy you're currently with?
I started DJing in high school. I moved to San Diego for college and when I was in San Diego I felt like an apprentice to every single DJ I met. I wanted to climb up the ladder and learn, master to student, what the secrets of the trade are. Everything they were willing to teach me I wanted to learn. I stepped my way up. One night my friend told me about a guy, saying he was really good and a world-renowned DJ. So, he came and he offered to give me lessons. He invited me over a few times and we'd talk about DJing. He's Muslim too, like me. At the time I was taking a world religions class. Sophomore year, that's your soul-searching year. Long story short: He was using the DJing to get close.

How long have you been together?
Five years.

Could you ever be connected to somebody who didn't share the same religious beliefs?
Not necessarily the same religious beliefs, but he would have to have a sense of spirituality and a deeper understanding of life. That's a big part of me that needs to be reciprocated.

Was your last boyfriend religious?
He wasn't, but I wasn't at the time either. To be quite honest, I went to see the Dalai Lama in San Diego and since then, I've been on a spiritual retreat to find myself. Everyone had questions, and he had the most simple answers. I've been Muslim for five years.

Are your parents Muslim, or are they okay with you practicing your own religion?
No, they aren't Muslim. They aren't completely accepting of it, but I did hear my mom say that as long as I believe in something, she's okay. I went through Catholic school, and all those efforts at least paid off in that I have a sense of guidance. I used to wear a hijab every day. The most challenging thing was wearing it around people I knew. If I met a stranger, that was their first impression of me, with no context of who I was before.

Have your beliefs changed your approach to love and sex?
Personally, I feel that there has to be a sense of sincerity when two people are intimate with each other. That genuine sincerity comes when you're spiritually connected. I'm not promiscuous, and I don't take it lightly. But I don't think I ever did. Before I became Muslim, I already believed in a lot of the things Islam was teaching, and it was only a matter of taking the actual oath to the faith. I was Muslim without being Muslim.

 

Jeff, 27

You're originally from San Francisco. How long have you been in New York?
Uh, two days. I'm visiting.

How do you the girls in New York compare to the girls in SF?
There's a lot more eye candy out here than there is in the Bay. I see a lot more pretty faces, but at the same time, a lot less booty. There's way more booty in the Bay.

Have you ever been in love?
Oh, shit. Love is just a feeling. I've never been in love. Love is just an infatuation with another person, and I don't infatuate with anyone right now.

Have you ever had an ex-girlfriend do something crazy?
No, because if you're crazy, I leave you alone. As soon as I start talking to you and find out you're crazy, I'm out.

But what's the gauge? What's the indicator for knowing if a girl is crazy?
If you're calling me to find out what I ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, if you have to know what I'm doing every single minute of every single day, you're done.

What do you look for in a girl then?
Kind, humble, respectful, you feel me? But, at the same time, somebody who knows that I can be with my homies and be with her at the same time. We can go to the movies and shit, go to dinner. But if I tell you I'm going out with my homies, leave me alone for the whole night. Trust is the whole issue. If you trust somebody, you let them go, right? You come back and they're still there. Don't ever change who you are for somebody else. Have I found any of this? No. It's impossible. But you know what? It's all good. If I don't get married, whatever, it's all good. I want to have kids, but that's life. One day at a time.

What's your strategy for picking up ladies?
Honestly, I'm me — I don't do shit. Let's say y'all were walking down the street. I won't say hi to you. I just do what I do, and if you like what I do, you will come to me.

Wait, you never approach women, you just wait for them to come up to you?
Yeah. Because you might be after something you think you like, but you don't really like. You see something physical and think you like it, but it's all physical. I do what I do. I buy my own drinks. If she comes up to me, it's all good. I'm not your typical, "Hey baby, what's your name?" kind of guy. I know girls don't like that. If you go out and have your friend who knows a friend, and he or she introduces you, that's easier.

What do you do for a living?
I'm a manager at a UPS store.

Does that get you laid ever?
I work fifty hours a week. To be honest with you, I don't have time for females, especially ones who are clingy. If you trust me, you'll have a blast being my girl because when we go out, it'll be special.

Interviews by Juliet Linderman. Photography by Talisa Chang. Want to talk to strangers in your neighborhood? Email .