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Five Reasons Not To Hate Tom Cruise

Yes, we came up with five.


by Andrew Osborne

Yes, everyone experienced a severe case of douche chills when he jumped up and down on Oprah's couch. Plus, he seemed like an egomaniac (emphasis on the maniac) in that creepy Scientology video, and most people suspect he's done something terrible to Katie Holmes. But I'm still seeing Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. Because however exhausting he may be to deal with in real life, Tom Cruise is still a fascinating screen presence, for the following reasons.

1. He doesn't even try to disguise his own arrogance.

Part of what makes Tom Cruise so hateable is also what makes him such a fascinating screen presence — namely, the fact that he doesn't seem to care in the slightest if we think he's a total dick. Unlike, say, the pre-scandal Mel Gibson, who tried to balance his mad-dog rageaholic tendencies with a loveable scamp persona, most of Cruise's memorable screen creations are refreshingly unrepentant assholes. His pool hustler in The Color of Money is an immature show-off. Love for an autistic brother is pretty much the only redeeming quality of his yuppie scum character in Rain Man. Even his romantic role in Jerry Maguire ends with a hardball sales pitch: "I won't let you get rid of me!"

2. He's managed to keep his craziness from hurting his career.

There are stars like Mickey Rourke whose wild train-wreck energy makes it hard to look away from their raw performances, even when knowledge of their real-world struggles makes us feel like maybe we should. Yet, for all the rumors, tabloid stories, and public humiliations dogging his career, Cruise has remained on the A-list since his big underwear-dancing breakthrough in Risky Business. Given the bristling anger that seems to fuel the majority of his performances (most notably the raging misogynist Frank T.J. Mackey in 1999's Magnolia), you have to give the guy credit for keeping what may be some fairly nasty demons on a relatively tight leash.

3. He's one of the few bona-fide alpha males in Hollywood.

I'm a big fan of sensitive and/or offbeat leading men like Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, and Seth Rogen. And I dig cocky B-list action stars like Jason Statham. But when a major motion picture needs an old-school dose of A-list testosterone and alpha-dog swagger, once you get past Cruise and maybe Will Smith, the options are pretty limited. George Clooney is too classy, Daniel Craig and Christian Bale are too sulky, Brad Pitt's too pretty, Matt Damon's too nice, Nic Cage is too crazy, and LaBeouf? Please. Maverick would have spiked him right in the face in that totally-not-gay shirtless Top Gun volleyball smackdown.

4. He's funny (and not just "funny strange").

Yes, it's easy to laugh at Tom Cruise when he's making some of his wilder Scientology claims or getting water sprayed in his face at a red-carpet event. But there have been plenty of times I've laughed with him, too, from his exasperated freak-out at Demi Moore in A Few Good Men to his bald-capped, fat-suited antics as studio gargoyle Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder. And there's even some (admittedly scanty) evidence that he may be able to laugh at himself, as in Eyes Wide Shut when people keep assuming (or hoping) his character is gay. (Though it's possible Cruise was just as oblivious to the meta-comedy of his scene with Alan Cumming as Charlton Heston was to the homoerotic subtext of Ben Hur.)

5. He's fearless (at least when it comes to ridiculous hair).

Assuming Cruise is fully aware of the whole "is he or isn't he?" question, it's remarkable that he chose to play Interview With The Vampire's Lestat, despite not being most people's idea of a golden-haired, polymorphously perverse bloodsucking fop. Given his macho leading-man persona, Cruise has shown an admirable willingness to mess with his image throughout his career. Moreover, he's apparently at peace with his fearless — and totally ridiculous — performance in Legend, since he hasn't used his seventh-level Thetan powers to eliminate all traces of it from existence. That makes him okay in my book.

Tags Tom Cruise

Commentarium (35 Comments)

Dec 20 11 - 1:42am
Rob Thomas

Gives a great blow job!

Dec 24 11 - 12:21pm
Alan Coffee

He's such a skinny little girl.

Dec 20 11 - 3:29am
Lawrence

Makes us look even taller.(yay for the double captchas btw.. way to help the world make digital books)

Dec 20 11 - 10:14am
moops

You can thank Scientology more than Cruise himself for maintaining his career.

Dec 20 11 - 11:17am
movieaddict

Spartacus? You mean Ben Hur.

Dec 20 11 - 11:26am
PeterSmith

Whoops. Good catch- thanks!

Dec 20 11 - 11:29am
Kyle

Or maybe Tony Curtis in Spartacus.

Dec 20 11 - 12:00pm
Andrew

I blame jet lag.

Dec 26 11 - 10:57am
Greg (the real one)

For what? Your utter lack of sexual performance last night? Don't call me again, loser.

Dec 20 11 - 3:35pm
Ricky

eh, I still sort of hate him

Dec 20 11 - 5:00pm
David

Here's another reason not to hate him - He's a good actor. That might count for something, considering he's a movie star.

Dec 20 11 - 5:07pm
Izie

I second that.

Dec 20 11 - 8:02pm
ricae

i third that. i don't care about his religious beliefs (i think most christians are just as crazy) - he seems like a genuinely nice person. even his exes have nothing bad to say about him. and he is amazing in magnolia.

Dec 20 11 - 10:19pm
shoegazr

Good actor? He has two modes: "intense" and "very intense." He couldn't play subtle even if subtlety painted itself blue and set off fireworks spelling out "it's very nuanced in here" across the sky.

Dec 21 11 - 12:43am
cs

"It's very nuanced in here" might be my new favorite sentence.

Dec 21 11 - 1:44pm
PeterSmith

I laughed. :)

Dec 21 11 - 5:13pm
ridic

He's won several "best actor" awards, which I think is a standard metric for determining if someone is a good actor.

Dec 21 11 - 10:50pm
R. Bruce Magee

Lots of nominations, e.g., from the Teen Choice Awards, but few wins, including no Oscars. His best work probably was done in the 1990s. https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000129/awards But he does know how Scientology can "cure" postpartum depression, does Dr. Cruise. Quack.

Dec 20 11 - 11:22pm
srb

Strongly disagree on point three re: Craig and Clooney. Depends on how you define alpha male though. Also, he's supposedly impotent, which would explain a lot.

Dec 20 11 - 11:42pm
Fishtix

As a general rule, actors that have to drive race cars and fly jet planes, deep down are insecure tools.
That is unless you drink and smoke heavily...which will no doubt cause you death.

Dec 21 11 - 8:40pm
oy

I don't hate him I refuse to spend money on him. That would help perpetuate his psycho ward scientology cult.

Dec 21 11 - 10:27pm
R. Bruce Magee

Cruise is a good actor? No, Colin Firth is a good actor, Tom Hanks is a good actor. Cruise is a shallow, self-absorbed, Scientology-brainwashed fool. An idiot. His best role ever was out-of-control jumping on the sofa on "Oprah." Whatever little respect I had for Cruise years ago was lost when he publicly criticized Brooke Shields, who had struggled with postpartum depression and shared her pain with others, for taking Paxil. Shields, an honors graduate from Princeton -- you know that Tommie never has had to subjected his thinking to a collegiate-level class -- responded by saying he should "stick to fighting aliens." I don't care that Cruise apologized privately to Shields: He's a shit, and I'll never watch one of his films again. You know, Glen Beck never had to write a paper to be subjected to a teacher or a class, either. Why are this undereducated fools given so much credibility? Because they make money? The drug lords in Mexico make money.

Dec 22 11 - 7:54am
Bruce

You said it, brother.

Cannot stand the man. Or the actor.

Dec 22 11 - 5:58pm
ridic

Have you even seen The Color of Money? It's a fantastic film, and he's perfect in it.

Dec 24 11 - 12:24pm
julian

ridic, why on earth would I watch a movie with an actor that I despise? Sheesh.

Jan 04 12 - 6:55pm
Adam

I like Tom Cruise... He's not the only one to have criticized anti-depressants. What have any of you trolls ever done as a performer or even a human being to bring a little joy to the world? And I still don't get what the big deal was with the couch jumping on Oprah-he was excited about being in love with a beautiful woman. Haters like you deserve one another.

Jan 12 12 - 4:27pm
BB

Adam,you're a fan....go away, no one wants to play with a fan on this website.

Dec 22 11 - 4:49pm
Apollo

I like him because he's fun. He's charming. It's why, in spite of everything that would argue against it, I thought he was great as Lestat in Interview with the Vampire. Fun screen presence. And he's really delivered in action movies; the MI franchise has out-Bonded Bond.

Dec 23 11 - 11:00pm
Meg

Thumbs up on everything, except maybe the Bond thing.

Dec 23 11 - 6:37pm
Caton

I liked Magnolia and Color Of Money- but I feel most of his work is weak. The roles he takes are often the same character- a cocky, over the top superman who can do almost anything. He is always playing it safe.

Dec 23 11 - 9:07pm
Danny Dix

Now, now.....we shouldn't be too hard on slebs, I mean, they used to be Human once too, you know.

Dec 31 11 - 1:02am
luke

He's a dick, definitely not an alpha male, anyone who thinks arrogance tops confidence is just clueless, and his comedy in Tropic Thunder stinks of my-agent-is-trying-to-salvage-my-post-Oprah-career (which isn't bad, but unnatural and therefore icky). He's still a good actor, but let's not kid ourselves, he needs to take a good look at himself.

Jan 22 12 - 2:43pm
George

Never going to make me forget about the real IMF; Graves, Landau, Bain, Morris and Lupus!!!!!

Feb 27 12 - 12:35am
Al

He didn't eve graduat from high skool and is only 5 foot 4 so it gives hope to attractive short dummies worldwide.

May 03 12 - 5:25pm
yonous

he graduated from high school and he's 5'7'. Had to work as a maintenance guy after high school, comes from a poor family. Many notable actors in Hollywood are this height, eg Al Pacino.

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