Hooksexup poll: Is it worth dating a person if they're doomed to leave you?
By Jeremy GlassMay 3rd, 2012, 5:00 pmComments (8)
After we featured an article about the manic pixie dream girl/guy phenomenon (or, as we like to call it, getting 500-Days-Of-Summer'd), we asked our readers if the subsequent heartbreak is worth dating a person for a short period of time.
20% of you said that you would, in fact, not be into the idea and want something more substantial and concrete. For the most part, Hooksexup members are thinking about the all-too-familiar aftermath:
"Been there. Done that."
"The heartache isn't the problem. It's the whimsicalness."
(What do you people have against singing The Smiths in elevators and whispering sweet little nothings to each other upon frozen lakes?)
For the 80% of you who answered "Yes - experience always trumps a broken heart," you went on to celebrate those little moments in life that make you happy, realizing that there will always be ones who got away:
"In my life there have always been serendipitous reunions and even if not, though a little schmaltzy, that person will always live on in my head and my heart."
"We always learn from experience. However, it depends on what point in your life you are in."
First off, kudos on using the word "schmaltzy" in describing a past love; second, kudos on learning from your "mistakes." Some of the greatest romantic insight can be acquired from the antithesis of a healthy relationship. And what is a healthy relationship anyway? Sanity is in the eye of the beholder. If you're looking to behold some eyes, do so on Hooksexup.
Commentarium (8 Comments)
Want my opinion? Of the 50-60 girls I have known "intimately", most were not the type I would bring home to Mom - or Dad. But I enjoyed "knowing" all of them- every last one, well, maybe except the weird one from (I won't mention the town, but YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, and chances are that you don't read the comments section of Hooksexup.)
Whoever wrote this article is a saint and a genius.
yeah, its worth it.
"Doomed?" not "fated". Odd choice of words.
Ack. What tortured syntax you have for a title. The mishandling of pronoun agreement is particularly egregious, but the meaning is also contorted by the weird choice of words. Is one party "doomed" when he or she leaves another? I wouldn't think so. I'd say in most cases the better word would be "fated"--or to be precise, "liberated by leaving you" might be more to the point. The only person "doomed" is the person bereft. If I were one to put forth theories, I'd say that this was an example of endemic narcissism--but most likely it's writing without really thinking at the same time.
Dear Hooksexup--I apologize for the tone in my previous message. I have enjoyed your website for years, and I must just be cranky--it is the end of the semester, and I've read a shit-ton of bad essays recently. It's a rationalization, but I guess I have to seek refuge in it.
hella no. i'm in that situation right now, and it absolutely sucks. I'd much rather not know.
I've ended a relationship knowing that it would end in the foreseeable future (due to moving across country) and I've stopped a relationship from forming for similar reasons. Right now I'm in a quasi-relationship that could go either way. We've actually considered moving together because of our extreme compatibility, things can change, you know.
You learn a lot about yourself when relationships fail. Even brief ones. If you can see some of the patterns in the choices of people and what you're attracted to it can only help you in the future.
Now you say something