Belle & Sebastian to write a song about a contest-winning fan

And it could be you! Scotland's ampersand-friendly fey-pop band Belle & Sebastian are offering their fans a chance to be the subject of one of their obscenely catchy little songs.

But just like your dad told you that night he was drunk, nothing in this life is free. First, you have to buy their new album, Write About Love. In the unlikely event of that occurring, you then have to go to some web site, where you'll be prompted to "write 300 words about love, in any sense of the word. Why you love. Who you love. What you love. Where you love. Anything. Just write about love."

And then the band will sift through the endless megabytes of amateur erotica, select one piece, and send B&S singer Stuart Murdoch to the author's hometown to just, you know, hang out. And then he will fly out of your life, eventually write a song about you, and release it "later in 2011," long after you've forgotten that you signed up for the contest.

But at least at that point you'll be able to say obnoxious things like, "That Belle & Sebastian song is, like, totally about my life," with some degree of authority. Good luck!