Adopt-a-Hacker program recruits employees for digital start-ups

Ever wonder where 4Chan gets its goons? Then you have too much time on your hands. Nonetheless, we think we've found the answer to your unfortunate query: Adopt a Hacker is a program designed to give digitally inclined denizens of the world a taste of the "New York Tech Scene."

All "hackers" have to do is "apply" for "adoption," and they too can write snarky posts with abusive amounts of quotation marks. They will be responsible for transportation costs to NYC, wherein they will be hosted and possibly employed by "hacker community members" like Etsy, Gilt, and Foursquare. 

If you're thinking about applying to be a guest hacker but are nervous about impressing your cool, New York host hacker, worry not; you can always break the ice by bringing along DVDs of hacker favorites like The Net, Hackers, and The Net 2.0. Because hackers buy DVDs, right?

What are you waiting for? Pack your bags, grab your Zune, and join the club!