Satirical Facebook post "10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong" going viral
By Brian FairbanksAugust 24th, 2010, 3:34 pmComments (48)
Sometimes, a piece of writing goes viral on the internet without proper attribution or sourcing. Apparently, a Facebook user named Mitchell Sturges (this might be his profile) wrote a post called "10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong" and its satirical take on the issue has been picked up by everyone, mostly without properly referencing Sturges as the original writer.
Sure, several of its jokes seem a bit worn at this point (especially the Britney Spears one), but we always enjoy sharing stuff that readers can use to disarm the meanies on the other side of the debate.
10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong
01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Re-post this if you believe love makes a marriage.
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Commentarium (48 Comments)
Love it. :)
I like that. This one over at Salon is also pretty funny.
https://open.salon.com/blog/michelle_motoyoshi_phd/2010/08/24/how_gay_mar...
i think you are fucked up in the head.
love is love.
what if i told you, you are not allowed to marry who you want.
i am not gay but i think ur a fucked up church geek who believes that god hates gays? if god hated gays why would he make them fall in love with other men. im glad i live in mass and its legal. i hope its legal everywhere, also i wanna know where u live, lemme guess the south? ur all a bunch of church going set in your ways, haters.
go fuck yourselves. =]
He does there is a section in the bible where he wiped out all the fucking gays before and wait he will do it again.
Yup, I'm sure he will. Then he and FSM will go bowling before meeting up with Buddha and Mohammed to pick up chicks at the mall.
I love this post, but funny that it is only now going viral- I first saw it posted over a year ago FB and it was just as good of a post back then.
Uhm... Marilyn.. This is satirical.. Which means it is trying to be funny, not serious.. Wow, you fail so hard.
It's so weird to me when people complain about those against gay marriage as being "haters" or prejudiced but then go onto complain about how much Southerners, Republicans, Christians, etc. are terrible people. There's nothing like overcoming prejudice like demonizing a different group of people.
It's so weird to me when people complain about those against gay marriage as being "haters" or prejudiced but then go onto complain about how much Southerners, Republicans, Christians, etc. are terrible people. There's nothing like overcoming prejudice like demonizing a different group of people.
@Sel, I'm sure Marilyn only read the big letters, seeing as how she is too lazy to write out full sentences, press the shift key and place punctuation in their correct places. Talk about being in the south. I'm southern and most people I know here are very articulate, thanks.
Anyway. This is good. I hear a lot of people say that it's unnatural because animals don't do it, but all animals in the primate family do it, dolphins, penguins and bats partake in homosexual sex, not to mention group sex.
I also hear people mention how the bible says it's "wrong," but the bible also says that we aren't allowed to cut our hair and anyone who commits adultery is to be stoned to death...
The Bible also says don't eat shellfish, don't wear wool with cotton, and that women who are menstruating should be removed from normal society for that period of time and are unclean until they bathe in the river Jordan. Wouldn't it be nice if people would realize that these are old laws that apply to the survival of a certain culture, NOT God's mandates?
Marilyn- this is a positive post for gay marriage!
brilliant! I love people's double standard!
Holy balls this is old. I remember reading this when Bush was running for re-election.
@Kristin Some trends don't reach the tipping point until years after they are first executed.
@Marilyn, satirical is the same thing as being sarcastic... though is it too much for me to expect you to know that word? Or recognize it being used for that matter?
Somebody needs to teach Marilyn a vocabulary lesson.
I born in the south and live in the south. I'm former U.S. Navy Desert Storm Vet. My religion is Pagan. I haven't stepped foot in a church in 17 years. And I'm a transgender female.
extraordinarily random...
Best post ever... I want to show it to my cooworkers, and family. For sure they will be confussed. LOL "if you can't win, you can confusse" #Confucio (kidding)
Yeah, God really doesn't like gay people. You know those two towns Sodom and Gomorah, He destroyed those towns because they over ran with filth. Not only were people gay, they were adulterers, sodomist and anything else you can think to put a black mark on society. God doesn't make people fall in love with men or women. He gave us free choice to do as we please and so we could choose Him as our Lord and Saviour. The Bible is correct in saying that being gay is wrong. It isnt natural. The only reason it became "natural" is beacuse sin entered the world. Also the Bible says that people arent allowed to eat pork, but that was in the Old Testament. Alot of things changed once Jesus came. So I think y'all should go back a rethink a lot of things. Oh, and by the way I am from the south and i do go to church. Im not afraid to hear The Word Of God and know that it is the truth.
Sodom and Gomorrah is also in the Old Testament. Don't just choose what you like and don't like. =/ If you are going to follow that rule, then follow the pork one, too.
I like how Hec's reply to this had really nothing to do with what was posted, probably because there's really no way to refute this.
this is so incredibly old.
hey marilyn, who are you yelling at?
Hec (in the off chance that you're reading this), the New Testament didn't change as much as you think. Jesus specifically said that he was there to enhance God's Word, not to overturn it. I'd go to a more progressive Bible study if I were you.
Don't forget the Sodom/Gomorrah money shot, with Lot's daughters getting him drunk and having him impregnate them. Yaaaaaay Bible!
I think the best comment on here was: "It's so weird to me when people complain about those against gay marriage as being "haters" or prejudiced but then go onto complain about how much Southerners, Republicans, Christians, etc. are terrible people. There's nothing like overcoming prejudice like demonizing a different group of people." Seriously...I'm not against gay marriage at all, my sister is gay...but the people who are for it and also hugely against the Bible and Christians are just as misinformed about that as anti-gay people are. What people need to really learn these days is TOLERANCE. you don't have to love everybody or accept everyone's beliefs or lifestyles, but you could at least be respectful of everyone
Well said. However I believe people need to learn acceptance in place of tolerance. For me at least tolerance implies that someone will put up with something they don't like and as such they won't have much respect for it, whereas acceptance implies respect. I may not agree or like every thing in the world but I accept and respect it. As a queer woman I have no right to say to a Christian that they are wrong. Everyone has their own opinions and everyone needs to learn to accept that.
I don't think you do have to be respectful of everyone. You should allow everyone to have the right to believe what they want, but you have no legal or moral obligation to respect it. I personaly respect the right of homosexuals to have the same rights as everyone else. I have no respect for people who base their values on the bible. That to me just isn't a respectable quality. You have the right, I wouldn't try to make it illegal to be christian, but I have the right to point out that its an ignorant hypocritical irrational unscientific and downright evil work of fiction that doesn't even make for a good nonfiction read. The bible sucks.
word to that
This is great! I wish more people had this mind set. Im lucky to belong to a gay friendly church.
How about government shouldn't be in the marriage business at all? That way nobody pisses on anybody elses parade.
I'm going to hell and proud and I'm not even gay.
you are not your religion, your skin color, your sexual orientation.... what truly defines you is how deeply you love.
I find this a little sarcastic...
faggots
I'm not a faggot. I'm a queer or a dyke if that makes you feel better. If you want to insult someone at least do it right.
I agree you are an asshole! Gay people do not become gay but are born that way. Society doesnt create gay people god creates them because after all babies are a miracle of god even babies who are born gay. .
I think people should be allowed to do as they please.
Personally, I can't stand the idea of homosexuality. It's not that I'm a bible-loving Christian, cause everybody knows that the Bible was written by men who attributed their own opinions as the opinions of God. At least everybody *should* know that....But anyway, even though I do not approve of homosexual activity, in my opinion, that does not take away their right to love each other. I hate that people are so arrogant as to think that they are the only ones who should have the right to be happy. Honestly...why can't we let gays marry? You can't make a gay person straight so just accept them as they are. This article makes so many good points, satirically that is.
I have nothing to say.
Marilyn, did nothing else about the posts strike you as odd? Do you also reject air conditioning, and view Britney Spears' marriage as beautiful and legit?
Seriously, you're retarded
Reading that makes me utterly angry, it makes me want to hit the writer in the face causing serious damage. I actually hope you were joking.
Um... yeah, they were joking. That's kind of the point of the whole thing. *facepalm*
This has been on the internet for at least four years
"I look at it this way and maybe some of those on the other side of the fence should too... think for just one moment people, I know it might be a stretch, but I think you can do it as a matter of fact I know you can if you choose to! Do you really think I, or anyone else for that matter of fact; would really choose to be gay?... oh yes, I absolutely adore getting looks of hatred, I love the fact that I am persecuted for loving someone, I am denied the right to marry,I am denied the right to adopt, that is unless I am like Rosie O'Donnell or Melissa Ethridge and have the money and resources to adopt or get artificially inseminated. I just love the mockery I get each and every day from complete strangers. Yes damn it I choose to be gay, yeah Right! Go ahead, call me a dyke.What is a dyke anyway?? just a woman in comfortable shoes.. :) Thank you Robin Williams! Do you really think I choose the ability not be able to put my partner on my insurance, She is ill and it would help us, but noooooooo we're gay, and the company that employs me doesn't recognize "us" as equal. Oh yeah and I choose not to have equality, did you know that? I choose to love my partner because she is my life, I chose my partner because nature told me she was the one... but I want you to know I didn't choose to be gay, I was chosen and I am proud! M.A.White 2010
Most of these have been posted for years and years on this facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2204465246, so that's my guess for where credit belongs.
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