Talking to Strangers

Hooksexup asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

 

 

Patricia, 25

What's the dating scene like in Portland?
I'm used to living in a small fishing town, and it seems that guys are less aggressive here and less forward than I'm used to. There's a lot more unspoken.

Can you give an example of the forwardness that you're used to?
A lot less of the "We're not going to define this now, blah, blah, blah" and a lot more of the "I'm interested in you! We should date!" You have to be careful because in a small town, if you spend a lot of time with someone, people will just define the two of you as "together." Also, you might turn into someone's ex and have to run into them. That doesn't happen so much here. Here, people experiment more. 

Have you done things here that you wouldn't have done in a small town?
How in depth do you want me to go? 

I like depth.
My first experience with Portland was having a random couple ask me to be the third person in their relationship. I tested the waters with it and at first I thought it was a little weird. 

Did they want to just have a threesome with you or did they want you to join their relationship?
Both. It wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be, which was a shame. It was good, but mostly it was too drunken and awkward. 

Who was more into you, the guy or the girl?
Oh, definitely the guy. The vibe I got from the girl was "I'm cool with this because I'm in this relationship and I want to support my boyfriend, but I'm not going to say anything about how awkward it is or how really mad I am about it." I'll occasionally run into them and awkwardly say, "Hi, we should hang out!" Then we never do. 

 

 

Dennis, 38

What do you do?
I'm a writer. I wrote Big Game and Other Stories. 

Has being a writer helped you meet girls?
Not as such, no. I'm not in it for that. As far as meeting girls goes, I say: socialize. Make yourself a part of interesting organizations. Getting out is important. 

Do you have any good hookup stories?
I don't want to mention her by name, but to quote Tom Waits: "You don't meet nice girls at coffee shops."

Care to elaborate?
No, I'd probably be leaving myself open to charges of slander. She was fun, but she stole from me, which was not cool. 

How would you describe Portland girls?
Hyper-intellectual. Generally non-monogamous. It's a mad scene. Some of us are looking for her, you know, and there are a lot of girls who really aren't looking for a long-term thing. I don't think that's just a Portland thing. Maybe it's a world thing. The whole scene is obviously changing, but I'm old-school, and I'm good with that. 

What advice would you have for people looking for a long-term monogamous relationship in a city like Portland?
Keep looking. She's out there. He's out there. Keep looking. 

 

 

Charise, 38

What do you do?
I am a middle-school teacher. Special-ed.

What do you think of the dating scene in Portland?
I'm in an open relationship, with a very nice man whom I love, but when I dated, I was afraid to be myself.

What's your philosophy on open relationships?
I want to be able to fuck whoever I want. And, I want my partner to do that too, and I never want it to come between us. If you want to fuck someone else, fuck someone else. 

If your partner wanted to be monogamous, what would you say?
Well, I've tried it before. It's not like every weekend I go out and find someone to fuck. But, if I'm hanging out with someone and it's going in that direction, I want to go there. It makes me whole, it makes me a more bold person. 

Do you have any good hookup stories?
I was at an event, and I had a bit too much to drink, and I decided to put my gorilla suit on.

You have a gorilla suit?
Yeah! I took all of my clothes off, even my underwear, and I put my gorilla suit on and put my sneakers on and started walking by myself. Then I decided to go swimming. There was this guy walking behind me, and I was really hot in the gorilla suit, so I took it off and put it on the side of the path, and we swam naked. Afterward, I couldn't find my shoes, so I was walking on this gravel path barefoot, but I found my gorilla suit, put it on, walked back to his van, and had sex with him. In the morning, I did the walk of shame in a gorilla suit. 

You did the walk of shame in a gorilla suit?
Yes. 

Did anyone see you?
Oh yeah. Dogs chased me.