Ryan, 27

What do you do?
I sell wine. 

Is that a good way to meet girls?
It's actually all right. I'm actually attached right now, so I can't elaborate too much, but let me tell you, I find more opportunities at this job than most. People here are pretty free-thinking, so you can hook up without trying too hard. No one's really trying to get married.

Anything you want to achieve, sex-wise, sometime in your life?
I've done a lot of crazy shit in my life. I dated a couple of couples at the same time. Had a few girlfriends who were all aware of each other, no problem there. I jumped off a freight train at sixty miles per hour and lived to tell about it. No broken bones. I'm generally an adrenaline junkie, and God likes me so I haven't died. I should be dead quite a few times over. 

Tell me about dating couples.
Generally, it's all about communication. If everyone's open and actually talks to each other, says what they're looking for and what they want, then good. If not, you end up being in the middle of some shit where maybe one person's trying to break out and one's not.

Were you just involved with the girls in these couples?
Yeah, I had one couple where the guy liked to watch, and another one where the other guy liked to participate on her end of things. 

So, you were like an opposite of a cuckold.
A cuckler, I guess. I'm kind of a voyeur, so I don't mind being watched. I like it. 

Would you ever do it the other way?
The other way? No. I'm not a big sharer. 

What if she was with another girl?
Even then, no. I've had girlfriends who've tried to bring that shit into the bedroom, but it's not my thing. If I wanted to fuck two girls, I'd do it. But I'd just as soon walk out.

 

 

Heidi, 23

What do you think of the dating scene in Portland?
A lot of men are very preoccupied with not coming on too strong. They've decided that appearing interested in a girl is somehow rude. So, they won't ask for your number, even if they've spent the last half-hour flirting with you. My current boyfriend waited a month to ask me for my number, even though it was clear that we both really liked each other. For a few weeks I thought that he must have been gay or have a girlfriend or something, because I could think of no other explanation for his behavior. I'm very much a feminist and I'm supportive of that kind of attitude in men, but it does become problematic when women are into rough play and attitude. I mean, if it's not your thing it's not your thing, but I will try anything twice. 

Is there anything in particular you want to try?
I've done quite a bit. I've done groups. I've done bondage — that's really fun. Polyamory, which didn't work out so well. It's difficult when you get feelings mixed up with sex.

Are you a top or a bottom?
It depends on how drunk I am, but usually I'm a sub. It's kind of nice not being responsible for the situation at hand. In this culture, women are supposed to have such control over everything concerning their sexual lives. I'm totally thrilled with that, but occasionally it's nice to just relinquish control and just go with what feels good. If that's at the hands of someone that you know and trust and love, awesome! That's great. 

How about group sex?
It has to be over four people. If it's just four people, it's basically just two couples having sex in front of one another, which is just kind of boring. Five or more is okay, but I still prefer just one-on-one. I have to be in a really specific mood for it, and even then I don't always indulge. To be perfectly honest, it's sort of hard to actually find five people who are totally willing and in the same place.

 

 

Xander, 25

What do you do?
I'm a student, a journalist, and I work for a band. 

What do you think of the dating scene in Portland?
I've had a lot of bad luck in this town, and it took getting with somebody who's not really from Portland to really find some true happiness. I'd meet girls who looked really awesome, and then they'd say "I'm totally into polyamory and I'm not looking for anything serious."

You're not a fan of polyamory?
No sir. Monogamy is the way to go. I'm all about devoting all of one's self to one person. That's much more fulfilling. I once dated three or so girls at the same time, and it was lame, time-consuming, and very expensive. 

Expensive?
Well, because I'm a gentleman, I insist on, for example, buying girls drinks. That's where the expense comes in.

Do you have any good hookup stories?
The first time I met the wonderful woman I'm with, I was at a band meeting, with the lead singer. I'd just gotten out of a relationship. I thought, "Man, that woman's incredibly beautiful. That's amazing." But I didn't know that she was the new female singer. I found out when we were going on tour. For a long time I thought this girl was very much out of my league, because she was a professional musician and I'm whatever the fuck I am. I was very nervous about showing any interest whatsoever. Little did I know, she was interested in me the whole time. I was too nervous to make the first move, she was too nervous to make the first move, and it took quite a few beers to change my mind. 

Do you have a sexual to-do list?
I am so completely in all ways satisfied with the woman that I'm with right now, that I can't think of anything all that enticing. If I do want to do something, I'd want to do it with her. 

That's a rare thing. Congratulations.
Yeah. And she's making tamales for me as we speak. So, I should probably go eat dinner with her.

Interviews and photography by Joe Streckert.