June 19, 2009, 02:06 p.m.
"I hate it when you want a 'quickie.' For you, it's an exciting idea of sex with no foreplay. For me, it only shaves off thirty seconds of your regular selfish, erratic humping routine."

June 19, 2009, 12:23 p.m.
"Thank you for finally bringing another girl into the bedroom with us!!! Best day ever!"

June 19, 2009, 10:57 a.m.
"I'm having flashbacks of Angela Chase dancing around her bedroom to 'Blister in the Sun' that morning she woke up and realized she was over Jordan Catalano. It might have taken an entire year but... I'm finally over you and this thing we were for three-plus years. I'm free!"

June 19, 2009, 05:46 a.m.
"You know, I think there was a moment when I did want to punch you. When you told me not to like you so much as you were inside me... after you had already said to me that you liked me more than you thought you would"

June 19, 2009, 05:16 a.m.
"If your man is unaware that he has never given you an orgasm, then it is not his fault. I am a woman, but I feel for guys because they are expected to achieve in the bedroom in a way that women are not. They are expected to know what a specific woman needs to have an orgasm, what turns her off, what turns her on. This applies to experienced lovers because no two women are exactly the same, yet men are judged for not knowing — they need to know what it is you want and need to get off. If you keep quiet, then what do you expect? And, not having an orgasm — as a lot of women know — is not the disaster that men might think it is. It could be some kind of emotional block that has nothing to do with how much they are enjoying the sex and, perhaps more importantly, the intimacy. I just think guys get a bit of a hard time. As long as they are willing and unselfish in bed, then the rest is up to you — to guide them, to talk to them. I am pretty sure that's what most guys want. They want to feel you are happy — not suffering in silence, or enduring sex."

June 19, 2009, 12:20 a.m.
"My "platonic best buddy" is staying at my place tonight, but of course, as we're platonic, he sleeps in the other room. Earlier tonight he mentioned that reading a certain book got him so enthusiastic he got a hard-on about it - and mimed it. Now he went to sleep and I know he's naked. I'm in the next room and sorry, I really need to masturbate now. Silently."

June 18, 2009, 09:39 p.m.
"I could get over you if I would admit to myself what a loser prick asshole snake shark you are. But how can I admit I threw myself at a loser prick asshole snake shark? Effing lawyers... Nothing but LIARS."

June 18, 2009, 07:52 p.m.
"You're the first serious boyfriend that has had more sexual experience than myself. It bothers me so much that I made a threesome pact with a guy that I used to hook up with so that if we break up, I can immediately add a new story into my repertoire."