Dating Advice From . . . Gay Mexicans by Meghan Pleticha Q: My girlfriend laughs a lot during sex. What's her deal? A: Sex is like an Adam Sandler movie. Some people laugh and some people walk out of the theater and ask for their money back.
I want to spice things up in the bedroom by doing some roleplaying. What should I try?
I'm into costumes. . . Good cop, bad cop. I love a woman in uniform. When a woman's in a police officer's outfit and is willing to push me on something, I can't find the bed fast enough.
What makes costume makers a better lay than designers or seamstresses?
Costume makers aren't so worried about what's "hip" and "modern." And it's kind of cool to be something else for a night. This girl I've been sleeping with hasn't been smelling too fresh down under. How do I tell her she stinks without embarrassing her?
As long as you keep coconut oil around, you'll never have to deal with this problem. Coconut kills all bacteria and it isn't harmful to the skin down there, so use that.
What's appropriate in terms of kissing someone after going down on them?
If you're going to be kissing the same person you just went down on, I say you can go kiss them in the same breath. If it's going to be another person, you want to at least wash your face.
My girlfriend is a costume maker and I want to impress her by looking original. Any ideas?
Stay away from wings, anything with glitter and fake eyelashes. Get creative in other ways. Oh — and spandex, stay away from spandex. You can be original and still use those things, but they've been used so many times.
Tara McManus, 26 www.thirdearthdesigns.com
I want to spice things up in the bedroom by doing some roleplaying. What should I try?
I love the dress-up aspect. Dress-up is always a really fun way to not be cheesy about getting into a role.
How do I look sexy after I've thrown up unexpectedly from gagging on this guy's penis while giving head?
You probably would want to put more foundation or blush on because you've probably turned green. And chew on a breath mint because that's a really bad combination of tastes in your mouth.
I handcuffed my boyfriend to the bed, gave him a wild ride. . . and lost the keys. What do I do?
Any good costume maker would have wirecutters. And that's sexy because you get to use tools and that gets into another scenario.
I'm going on a date tonight and I really want to get laid. What should I wear to guarantee this?
You don't want to dress desperate. I think even guys are turned off by that. Some girls go out and are like, "I'm on the prowl, so I have to look this way." Then the whole night they have these costume flaws. They're popping out the top and the bottom and it just doesn't look like they're in their own skin. That would be what not to do.
My guy keeps falling asleep while I'm pleasuring him. Should I say something?
You should say something if it happens once! You should slap him across the face!
www.thirdearthdesigns.com
