Screengrab by Various Today in Hooksexup's film blog: We list our greatest guilty pleasures. You can't imagine the shame!
61 Frames Per Second by John Constantine Today in Hooksexup's videogame blog: A piping a hot plate of Tim Curry, Half-Life for a dollar, and adventuring with Adventure.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Too many teary-eyed kvetching sessions lately, Aquarius. Snap out of it. This isn't the Lifetime Network, and your name isn't Sandy Duncan. The American Dream is alive. Republicans haven't killed it yet. So this month, tie up the loose ends and get yourself together. Ambition in the office could lead to an intimate after-work encounter.
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Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
It's one thing to be independent; it's quite another to hide away in your tree house and wonder why nobody's come looking for you yet. Your standoffishness has always been a big part of your allure, Pisces, but the thing about mysteries is they're fun to figure out, not just to gawk at. Give your lover a break this week, invite them into your secret lair, and don't be shocked when the sex is actually better for the intimacy.
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
Pluto may not be a legit planet anymore, but that's not going to keep it from being all up in your steez. Its alignment with Mars is wreaking havoc on your sense of trust. You're going to feel socially stressed and volatile, like a china-doll hoarding, crazy cat person who yells at the neighborhood kids to git off yer lawn. Re-establish trust in baby steps and by next week you'll be your old gullible self.
Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
It may not be spring yet, my little bull, but that shouldn't stop you from starting that refreshing seasonal cleanse. Now is the time to shake off those winter blues, sweep the cobwebs away and add a little color to your canvas. The stars are in prime proximity to boost creativity, so take on a new project: painting, gardening, or maybe just a full self-overhaul.
Gemini (May 21-Jun. 21)
You're not the type to wear patchouli or howl at the moon, Gemini, but this week you're going to feel less bound by social norms and ready to let your inner-werewolf out. And while you're busy exploring animal costumes or nudist colonies, you'll also find that a new relationship — or a new development in a current relationship — will take a sharp, sexy turn. Few things bring people closer together than matching body mods.
Cancer (June 21-July 21)
No, my little crab, it's not a possum in your furnace. That constant rattling sound is your heart going pitter-patter. When Mars shimmies back into your chart at the beginning of the week, you're going to get hot, bothered and really impatient. Nobody is moving fast enough for you, but you can't afford to feel let down when every innocent meeting doesn't end with a time-bending orgasm. You'll be more satisfied if you've put some work into the chase.
Leo (July 22-Aug. 22)
You've heard the phrase, "March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb"? Well this month you'll be raging in and out and all over the place like the king of the jungle you are. This will begin with a fierce mid-week burst of energy — you won't need any excuse to party like a prep-school punk starting on Wednesday and carrying straight on into the weekend. Just keep an eye on your pride.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 21)
Look at you! With that glowing skin and extra spring in your step, one might think you and Brangelina have something in common in the stomach region. Whether it's a new baby, a promotion at work or those highly coveted Hannah Montana tickets, this month is going to bring you nothing but pleasant surprises. Take advantage of your inevitable outer- and inner-transformations; your life is finally taking off the way you always hoped it would.
Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22)
It's not easy steering clear of those nasty little habits of yours, especially when those you surround yourself with are a constant source of temptation. Stay the course! Just as Lindsay Lohan is no saint — regularly seen out in the club scene toting a designer water bottle (hmm...) — you have a few tricks up your sleeve too. Just make sure they're the kind of tricks that won't render all that hard work you've done null and void.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
You need to learn how to keep your foot out of your mouth. No one likes someone who never shuts up, and all too often your verbal diarrhea lands you in deep shit. Invite that special someone over for a night of Franzia and board games — but instead of talking about yourself, just listen. Even as said lady or fella natters on about fiscal conservatism or some other drivel, keep your ears pricked. You never know what you might learn.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
February left you bitter, but you managed to keep from collapsing into a pall of desperation and hopelessness, didn't you? This month, with seasonal depression disorder becoming a distant memory, work your creative mojo in finding a bright-eyed little trollop who shakes their groove thing to the new Goldfrapp album. Being around creative souls will generate newfound energy.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Somebody call Suze Orman! This month, you Caps will boast a financial bounty flowing like the River Jordan. After months of scrimping for scraps like a Depression-era wino, you can't be stopped. You're a waspy force to be reckoned with. This month, lavish your honey with goods. Nothing says true love quite like something that felt like a kidney stone at the cash register.
, featuring curious yet marvelous infusions of cucumber and rose petal.
