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Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
You like to think of yourself as the person holding the reins, not the one on the receiving end of the riding crop. So why is it that you're feeling like someone's got you all bound up — and not in the fun way? I'm sure you've got your reasons for staying, little lamb, but around the equinox on the 21st, you're going to come up on some hidden agendas and half-truths that will be impossible to ignore. It's time to remove the blindfold, unclick the handcuffs, and shake off whoever's been holding you back. You're known for your fierceness, after all, so go earn back some of that street cred.
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Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
So you may not be a whiz in the kitchen — who knew it was possible to burn water? — but what you lack in culinary skills you've been more than making up for with your own stubborn brand of charm. Those snarky asides you naturally slip into conversation are going to do more than earn you the love of misanthropes everywhere — as it turns out, this week they'll work wonders when it comes to cozying up with a special friend. Try gearing up for a weekend trip to some ghost town off the highway — tumbleweeds and chain buffets can be pretty romantic if you've got the right mindset.
Gemini (May 21-Jun. 21)
You know how Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil at the crossroads in exchange for his wicked guitar-playing abilities? Well, you're not going to be called upon to give up the sweet hereafter exactly, but you've got a few romantic options in your midst, and it's hard to tell whether they will end in glory, or with pokey demons, or both. This requires putting on your captain's hat (right next to your conquistador helmet) and doing some emotional navigation. You've never been a fan of being decisive or practical, but unless you want to find yourself on baking in the flames of relationship hell (which absolutely involves reality television), you best wise up.
Cancer (June 21-July 21)
Spending a little extra time on feeling sorry for your self lately? We know things haven't been a breeze, beach lover, but this is your week to drop the sad act and take some action. You know that savings account that just sits there accumulating interest? What are you saving for anyway? It's time to put your money where your mind is, and travel the world instead of just dreaming about it.
Leo (July 22-Aug. 22)
You know exactly how to take control of any given situation, and when disaster strikes, you have a mother/father bear reflex. You coordinate every aspect of damage control like you've done it a thousand times before. But this time you're feeling a little in need of a time out. Unfortunately, the powers that be didn't create a pause button for life, so you're going to have to lean on someone else for a change. Tell that new sweetheart of yours how hot it is when they take their turn with the reins.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 21)
Have you been aimlessly walking the streets more than usual lately, allowing cry-baby music to blare through your iPhone while pretending you are the main character in a depressing drama flick? We know it's easier said than done, but it's time to snap out of it, sweetheart. With Uranus, the planet of surprise, looming on your horizon, there're going to be a lot more mornings in your future filled with sweeter-than-syrup sentiments — get ready for the kind of hope that only comes with cloudless blue skies.
Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22)
You've been alone for a while, but it probably never bothered you until recently. When the going gets tough, the tough need a shoulder to cry on — so keep your eyes and ears open for a sign from the romantic corners of your earth. This weekend will prove to be a romance rollercoaster, as old loves, new lovers and even an unexpected friend come out of the woodwork to offer you support in the way of unbridled affection. You never know what could come out of this; the possibilities are endless. Enjoy the ride.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
If you thought last week was a good one, watch out, Scorpio — this one will be even better, proving that you, my friend, are the most desirable sign on the chart! Thursday will be nothing but a day filled with skipping through dandelion fields, hand-in-hand with someone special, while sucking on endless cherry lollipops. Okay, so that's a total fairytale metaphor, but basically, it means you're going to be living the dream, and then some.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
You know that big night out you planned for this week? It's going to be the time of your life, but it also could make a big dent in your bank account, and your careless attitude will leave no one to pick up the pieces. You may want to leave your ATM card at home and just bring the cash you know you can afford to spend. Don't worry too much though, because this weekend, with a special planet ruling your tenth house, a surprise of thrilling proportions will surely present itself.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You know all of those movies where the buttoned-up square gets unraveled by some quirky, free-spirit type who shows them what it means to really Live, capital L? Well, that's sort of what's going down right now between you and the universe — and don't even front like you don't know what I'm talking about. Your earthquake-preparedness kits, the stash of just-in-case signal flares. It's time for some care-free living, whether you like it or not. Because some screwball shenanigans every now and then can be incredibly sexy, especially if your lover is used to you making plans like they're sentences waiting to be diagrammed.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Critical mass isn't just a cute term monopolized by the fixed-gear bike riding set — it's also a pretty perfect description of your week to come. Even though Jupiter and Uranus are scheming to have your week literally begin and end with a bang, you're going to feel like every situation that arises is fraught with batshit levels of insanity. But don't fret too much: like our good friend Dwight Schrute, you understand that the best way to get ahead is to form an alliance. Lucky for you, people looking to help relieve your tension won't be in short supply.
Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
Things have been relatively peachy for you this month, but you haven't really been keeping up with the people outside of your happiness bubble, have you? It's cool to let the world float by like a glorious river of rainbow-flavored unicorns or whatever, but there comes a time in every fishie's life in which stepping it up is a necessity, not a choice. And come the end of this week, you're going to have to shed the passivity and make some real decisions — Venus and Jupiter are collaborating to bring you a heaping bowl of lovin', but if you don't get your eyes focused on someone other than you, you may end up missing out.
