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Here’s the deal: your boyfriend almost cheated on you. It's completely normal to feel rattled and uncomfortable. I’m sure the continued texts from his former fuck-buddy aren’t doing much to soothe your soul. You also have college graduation looming during a world-wide recession, and the prospect of your friends and family meeting your significant other. It's a lot to take in, but let's take one small step back.

To his credit, your boyfriend told you what happened right after it happened. He easily could have gotten away with saying nothing. I'd say he scores a point there. Also, he realized his mistake as he was making it, and took steps to reverse it, even though doing so made him look like a big dweebazoid. Score another point. He said he was sorry, which anyone can say — but he’s backing up his words with actions, i.e. giving the fuck-buddy's text messages the old electronic heave-ho. He's up to three points already.

How many more points will it take for you to realize that these are not the actions of a dormant lothario, but a misguided, immature, booze-fueled cry for help? You said you two fight a lot. You need to find a better way to resolve the tension than either one of you storming off for an alcohol-fueled night of No Good. That kind of stuff was fun in its own sick, dramatic way in high school, but it’s not going to work as well now that you’re adults. Figure out a new way to deal with conflict, even if that means spending some more time away from each other. As far as introducing him to your friends and family, I would go ahead and do it. It’s not like you’re adopting a baby or signing the lease on a house. It’s a show of faith and a bridge-builder. Plus, if you break up, you’ll have an informed focus group who can help you hone in on all the little shitheel’s flaws.

Dear Confused Mama,

For starters, let’s not call the ex-girlfriend a “bitch.” He’s the one who cheated on you. He’s the one who betrayed his girlfriend and daughter by parking his pink Camaro in someone else's garage. He’s trying to shift the blame with one of the oldest tricks in the book: “It’s not me! The slutty, crazy lady made me do it!” But who’s more unbalanced? The slutty, crazy lady or the guy who knows she’s slutty and crazy but still thinks it’s all right to sleep with her?

For future reference, any time a guy (or girl) talks huge amounts of shit about an ex, but can’t seem to stop them from “showing up” — despite the existence of doors that lock, emails that can be deleted, “ignore call” buttons on cell phones, and restraining orders — take that as a signal to be very, very cautious. Real-deal stalkers are rare. People who can't or won't disentangle themselves from their exes are much more common.

What to do now? If I’m doing my math right, the cheating took place a couple years ago. Something’s been keeping you around for those all those extra Easters and Arbor Days. The question is — besides your adorable little girl — what? Yes, a child is a fantastic reason to work hard on a relationship, but it's not a good reason to stay in a terminally bad relationship. Unhappy adults raise unhappy children. Bad-relationship behaviors get passed down.

If you're still with him for financial reasons, start what may be a long, no-fun-purchases-until-2016 process of getting your affairs in order. If it’s self-esteem, get yourself some form of therapy. Don’t let money or your busy schedule be an excuse. If you’ve got time to watch TV, you’ve got time to see a shrink. There are shrinks who practice online or consult over the phone. They’re not the easiest to find, but some research and bad hold music will lead you to reduced-fee mental health practioners.

Finally, if your reason for staying is that you’re still (huge sigh) in love with this guy and want to make it work, do what grownups do and go see a couples’ counselor. Clearly, talking it out is not cutting it. When things are this mangled, it’s time to call in a professional.