ALICE COOPER
In October 2000, the former lord of hellfire and damnation given to cavorting onstage with boa constrictors and bathing himself in fake blood during concerts gave an interview in which he announced, "I can be a rock 'n' roll star, a Christian and Alice Cooper." He now coaches Little League Baseball and soccer, and runs his own Christian non-profit organization.
LISA WHELCHEL
Once famous for her role as rich bitch Blair on The Facts of Life, Lisa Whelchel is now more concerned with the facts of the afterlife: her official web site has links you can follow to save your soul by becoming a Christian. Once you have gone through the correct steps surprisingly easy! she signs off with her personal congratulations, declaring, "I'm looking forward to spending eternity with you." Eternity with Blair? Sign us up!
MR. T
The man who fought for justice and the American Way as "Bad Attitude" Baracus on The A-Team is now crusading for a different cause Christianity. Everyone's favorite '80s action hero pities those pagan fools who would dare mess with J.C. In recent years, T. has appeared on Praise the Lord and has criticized Christians who send their kids to colleges whose sports teams contain the word "Devil," suggesting that the New Jersey Devils change their name to the obvious alternative: the New Jersey Squirrels.
KIM ALEXIS
The '80s cover girl, whose personal website humbly discusses her "unbelievable career in the modeling industry" — "it's as though the term 'supermodel' was coined to describe her" now spends her time promoting a pro-life, anti-premarital-sex agenda to young girls. Says Kim: "There are many ways that we try to gain self-respect or even hold on to what we have. By having sex before marriage we lose that self-respect." Apparently Christ had no problem with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, however, for which she posed six times.
KIRK CAMERON
Arguably the most frightening of Stars Gone Christian, Kirk Cameron of Growing Pains fame now stars in his own video, titled The Way of the Master. Those hoping to witness the former heartthrob executing some wicked kung-fu action will be sorely disappointed, as the video is merely designed to inculcate Christianity among the masses. Check out the rabid testimonials to Cameron's greatness on his website could a Cameron Compound, built somewhere in the wilderness of Montana or Texas, be far behind?
CANDACE CAMERON BURE
Once the chunky-but-benign D.J. Tanner on Full House, Candace Cameron Bure (yep, Kirk's sister) is now serious about saving your soul more serious than Lisa Whelchel, even! Her official website has significantly more menacing hellfire talk ("without Christ, the eternal consequences are devastating"), and a nifty Flash quiz tests whether you are a "good person": "The question you should be asking is 'Am I good enough to go to Heaven?'" (Here's a hint: no.) For each question, you can click either "Guilty" or "Innocent." Judge not, lest ye be Candace Cameron Bure.
STEPHEN BALDWIN
Could the least physically blessed Baldwin be the most spiritually gifted? Stephen, star of decidedly non-Christian movies such as Half Baked and Threesome (in which he wore a woman's dirty panties on his face) now rails against the evils of Hollywood and MTV culture, saying he wants to "be a part of films by my choice now, based on my faith, that are not gratuitous in their violence and language and sex, that have certain redemptive qualities." This may explain why his recent projects include Six: The Mark Unleashed and Shelter Island. (The other reason, of course, could be simply that he is Stephen Baldwin.)
WILLIE AAMES
Once known only as Charles's idiot friend Buddy on Charles in Charge, Willie Aames has lately found a more dignified role in the Christian entertainment sphere — as the star of the children's video series Bibleman. Playing the titular role, Aames fights evildoers (such as his arch-nemesis, Wacky Protestor) with the help of his sidekicks, Cypher and Biblegirl, by quoting Scripture passages. To "initialize full armor sequence," Aames chants: "Waistband of Truth! Breastplate of Righteousness! Shoes of Peace! Shield of Faith! Helmet of Salvation! And the Sword of the Spirit!" Unfortunately, no Belt of Chastity. We can only hope Aames can keep up his Waistband of Truth without one.
ALICE COOPER
LISA WHELCHEL
MR. T
KIM ALEXIS
KIRK CAMERON
CANDACE CAMERON BURE
STEPHEN BALDWIN
