Screengrab by Various Today in Hooksexup's film blog: We list our greatest guilty pleasures. You can't imagine the shame!
61 Frames Per Second by John Constantine Today in Hooksexup's videogame blog: A piping a hot plate of Tim Curry, Half-Life for a dollar, and adventuring with Adventure.
A cheating fantasy can ruin your relationship faster than actual cheating. See: Eyes Wide Shut, American Beauty, Lost in Translation
If you'd like your mistress to stick around for a while, make sure your wife is attracted to her, too. See: The Color Purple, Henry and June, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
If your alibi is "I'm going fishing," you'd better bring back some fish. See: Brokeback Mountain
If everyone you know is cheating on each other with everyone else you know, it may be time to move. See: Closer, Women on the Verge of A Nervous Breakdown, Your Friends and Neighbors
Cheat on your girlfriend with your own mother; you can be discreet. Cheat on a girl with her mother, well, you're just asking for drama. See: Spanking the Monkey, Manchurian Candidate, The Graduate
Signs he may be cheating on you: He's spending lots of time at the department store. He's on a road trip. He's obsessively painting Ritz crackers. See: Regarding Henry ,The Women,Y Tu Mama Tambien,Sideways
The most efficient way to cheat on your sexually unadventurous spouse is to become a prostitute. Or a sex researcher. Or you can sleep with that scatterbrained woman who keeps showing up and ruining your clothes. See: Belle Du Jour, Kinsey,What's Up Doc, Bringing Up Baby
Cheating on your spouse for a million dollars is not worth it, because it might wreck your relationship with Woody Harrelson, forcing you to stay with Robert Redford. Wait a second . . . See: Indecent Proposal
Your wife's younger sister is trouble. Her older sister, on the other hand, is probably your soulmate. See: Sex, Lies and Videotape, Hannah and her Sisters, Summer Stock, Holiday
If an underling is trying to steal your career, there's a good chance she's also trying to steal your man. See: All About Eve, Working Girl
Married professors, even after a lifetime of fidelity, will inevitably begin an affair with that one special student. See: The Squid and the Whale, Husbands and Wives, The Rules of Attraction, Terms of Endearment, Wonder Boys, What Lies Beneath, The Oh in Ohio
No one knows why, but infidelity is 87% more likely to occur when one party is wearing petticoats. See: Vanity Fair, A Room with a View, Les Liasons Dangerous, Marie Antoinette, Wuthering Heights, Gone with the Wind
If you're a singer, watch your back; there's probably a suave dancer trying to steal your dream girl. See: American in Paris, Holiday Inn, Swing Time, Take me out to the Ball Game
It's possible to be married and faithful, just not in a Woody Allen film. See: Manhattan, A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy, Hannah and Her Sisters, Crimes and Misdemeanors, Husbands and Wives, Bullets Over Broadway, Everyone Says I Love You, Match Point
It's not so bad when old people cheat on each other. Because they're old. So it's adorable. See: Cocoon, Bridget Jones's Diary, Moonstruck
If you are a bored suburban housewife, you will inevitably begin an affair with a ruggedly handsome, long-haired creative type who lives in a vast, moody industrial loft with sliding metal doors and lots of books and canvases. See: Unfaithful, A Perfect Murder, Sleeping with the Enemy
The Adriane Lyne rule: Illicit sex is best held in acrobatic positions and uncomfortable locations, which reflects its essentially fucked-up nature. See: Fatal Attraction, Nine and a Half Weeks, Lolita, Unfaithful
Affairs with doctors never end well. See: Your Friends & Neighbors, Crimes and Misdemeanors, Dr. T. and the Women, Between Two Women
When you're in a glamour profession — hairdresser, musician, bank robber, painter — you're entitled to sleep with everyone you encounter for a period of up to twenty years. See: A Fish Called Wanda, Shampoo, Walk The Line, Ray, Frida
If you're trying to stop your wife from sleeping with a member of the Rat Pack, good fucking luck. See: Kiss Me Stupid, High Society, It Should Happen to You
Women who entice you into affairs with logical arguments ("We're two adults . . .") are the most psychopathic of all. See: Fatal Attraction, The Crucible, Double Indemnity
When you're out of cheating-partner options, Hugh Grant will be there for you. See: Bitter Moon, Bridget Jones' Diary, Notting Hill, Four Weddings and a Funeral
Additional Contributors: Patrick Cassels, Sarah Sundberg, John Constantine.
, featuring curious yet marvelous infusions of cucumber and rose petal.
