Does being an internet TV star up your sex appeal? Has it ever gotten you laid?
If by laid you mean lots of erotic, blinking MySpace comments, then yes. But being your own editor is always a good way to up your sex appeal.
My boyfriend and I are monogamous. He wants to stop using condoms. I want to keep using them, in case one of us cheats. Is this unreasonable?
We all define our own boundaries and acceptable risks. Personally, I believe in risk reduction, not risk elimination. But if you'd feel uncomfortable during the condomless sex, if it messes with your headspace, then keep waiting. Maybe you can lose your "condom virginity" on your wedding night.
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My boyfriend and I just fulfilled our threesome fantasy with a hot acquaintance, but now we don't know how to talk to her. How can we make things comfortable again?
Think of the experience as a gift from your friend — perhaps one of the most amazing gifts someone can give — and be appreciative of the gesture, not the content. Make it a point to thank her for helping you explore that part of your relationship.
My boyfriend of several months told me recently that he's cheated on his past partners. He said he wanted to be honest with me about this, and that he's changed. Should I take this as a red flag anyway?
Yes. He's changed in the way that he feels about you right now. But relationships have ebb and flows, and when he feels the flow, he's going to cheat again.
What skills have you learned in front of the camera that could apply to the bedroom?
Sufficient volume is critical. Don't be afraid to wake the neighbors.
Melissa Gira, 29 sexerati.com My boyfriend loves it when I swallow, but it always makes me gag. Any advice?
Some sex-advice ladies advocate sweetening the seed by feeding him a regimen of mangoes and strawberries, but in my experience, some men just taste better to me than others. Cum incompatibility exists.
What's the best way to introduce my girlfriend to my trampling fetish?
Does your girlfriend harbor a thing for shoes? That's where I'd start: "Darling, leave your heels on tonight." And don't expect her to crush you the very first time. But tease you with a peep-toe? Sure. When you're both turned on, see what her response is and go from there.
My boyfriend and I are monogamous. He wants to stop using condoms. I want to keep using them, in case one of us cheats. Is this unreasonable?
That sounds tremendously well-reasoned, actually. The benefit of keeping condoms on in a long-term relationship is you avoid bringing in a particular stress — possible infection — that so far, you haven't had to deal with. Hopefully he and you take time to discuss this outside of that magic moment. Sounds like, arrangements and cheating aside, you're in favor of the latex. Have no shame in that.
What skills have you learned in front of the camera that could apply in the bedroom?
Be a good Dietrich to your partner's Josef von Sternberg: insist on the best lighting always.
Are there any internet TV shows that will teach me to be better in bed?
Veracifier puts out Josh Marshall's amazing Talking Points Memo show. I don't know about you, but I need a hard stream of politics to set my mind at ease enough to get fucked without feeling as if I'm neglecting the world by spending hours in bed.
Irina, 36 geekentertainment.tv
I swore I'd always be one of those moms who kept her sex life after kids. Yet a year after my daughter's birth, my libido is still dormant and my husband is cranky. What do I do?
I hate to break it to you, but if you don't have a physical issue or post-partum depression, and you've had a conversation with the hubby, then its time for couples' therapy. No, that's not extreme. You know how back in those prehistoric days they had those medicine men in every tribe? And then a little later, they had those village wise men? Those were therapists. The only difference is we paid them in sacks of potatoes and dead chickens. Just go.
My boyfriend and I have been monogamous for a few years. He recently told me he wants us to stop using condoms, but I want to keep using them just in case one of us cheats. Is this unreasonable?
Yes. If you're considering cheating on a man you've been dating "for a few years," then its time to re-evaluate your relationship. If I'm lucky enough to have a monogamous relationship for a few years, I expect many, many happy returns, not the least of which is barebacking.
What are some skills you've learned in front of the camera that could apply in the bedroom?
Keep eye contact with your interviewee. It makes him or her feel special. And commit to the episode. Just go for it with gusto. I enjoy myself on camera and as we all know, joy is hot.
Are there any internet TV shows that will teach me to be better in bed?
No. I'm old, so I can say this: the only thing that will help you is learning how to have a good relationship with yourself and the person who is in bed with you. So get better at being you and you'll be really good in bed.
My boyfriend of several months told me recently that he's cheated on his past partners. He said he wanted to be me honest with me about this, and that he's changed. Should I take this as a red flag anyway?
Yes. Cheating is never about sex, its about fear of intimacy. In our patriarchal society, men have deemed it okay for centuries. I don't tolerate any level of cheating, but it's up to you to decide that. If he cheats on you, I'd get the hell out of there unless he joins SLAA or something.
Mark, 30 cheapdatesphilly.blogspot.com
Has being an internet TV star ever gotten you laid?
Hell yeah, it has. My co-star is my fiancée.
My boyfriend and I have been monogamous for a few years. He recently told me he wants us to stop using condoms, but I want to keep using them just in case one of us cheats. Is this unreasonable?
Condoms are good, but damn, lady. You've been monogamous for a few years and you're still worried about cheating? Sounds like y'all have some trust/communication issues.
What's the best way to introduce my girlfriend to my trampling fetish?
Buy her a big ass pair of boots and the Nancy Sinatra record.
My boyfriend of several months told me recently that he's cheated on his past partners. He said he wanted to be me honest with me about this, and that he's changed. Should I take this as a red flag anyway?
Nah. People change, so let 'em. The less you trust, the more you push away.
What are some skills you've learned in front of the camera that could apply in the bedroom?
Always be honest. It hurts less after time. n°
Interviews by Jessica Gold Haralson. Sex Advice From... appears on Thursdays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to .
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