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VH1's New, Soylent-Green-Inspired Reality Programming

Nothing says "fresh new ideas" like the stripped corpses of other concepts, pulped and processed into McRib-like mockeries of actual innovation. Who's hungry?

The network has decided to move away from the Rock of Love-type shows that have dominated its lineup in the past, in favor of what they call "real-life stories." Let's take a look at some of these exciting upcoming offerings!

You're Cut Off: Nine spoiled rich girls whom no one cares about are cut off from their "bottle service" lifestyle. You get to "see what happens" when they're forced to live in shit-covered huts like the rest of us! How long can you watch before inciting a workers' revolution?

My Big Friggin Wedding: Five couples compete to throw the wildest weddings ever! With smoke machines! And lasers! And brides dropping from the ceiling! Tigers! Dwarf tossing! Blood sacrifices! Sex tourism! Chemical castration! I hope!

Wedding Wars: "Eager couples" compete against the couples from My Big Friggin Wedding to see who can take home the title of "The Worst"!

Eva Longoria: Beso: Waiting on Fame: The waiters and waitresses: of Eve Longoria's restaurant: try not to get caught chugging wine in the backroom: while pretending to care: that your roasted jidori chicken: with ahi-oregano rub: isn't "seasoned well": you jackass.

Estranged with Dr. Drew: Someone finally, mercifully takes away Dr. Drew Pinsky's medical license (does he even have one?).

These are your real-life stories, ladies and gentlemen.

Via Deadline.

Comments ( 2 )

Wait! These are the real titles of real shows? I seriously thought these were hilarious jokes. Now I'm scared.

Dan commented on Apr 20 10 at 5:17 pm

Oh Vh1. Always managing to remain the best at being...whatever they are. Does anyone else music television stations with music on them?

Runyon commented on Apr 20 10 at 5:18 pm

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