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 erhaps the secret to Gael Greene's success as one of New York's most infamous restaurant critics (and social divas) is that, through her writing, she's fully, passionately engaged with you — until she's done with you. During her thirty-two years as "The Insatiable Critic" columnist for New York magazine, she's offered sharp, biting sociological assessments of the hottest eateries in town, often putting down her pen mid-thought, leaving the reader starving for her next column.Greene's love life often employed a similarly tactful, timely exit maneuver, resulting in a sexual resume that reads like an A-list of '60s and '70s glamour. Clint Eastwood, Burt Reynolds and Elvis Presley all found themselves in bed with Greene at one time or another. She also bagged the scrumptious likes of famed chef Gilbert Le Coze, who, after a vigorous round in bed, would sleep for an hour before rising at four a.m. to head to the fish markets. Her open relationship with porn star Jamie Gillis left her free to tryst with Le Cirque chef Jean-Louis Todeschini, spurring her infamous review headline, "I Love Le Cirque, But Can I Be Trusted?"
Do you find the appetite for food and sex to be similar? My experience with some of the great professional food people over the years has been that they have been as rapturous in bed as they are at the table. Maybe it's the oral personality — you want it all for yourself, you can never get enough. But there is a difference between the insatiable woman and the passionate woman. For the insatiable woman, too much is never enough. For the passionate woman, too much is just barely enough. Big difference. Do you think there's a connection between the physical experiences of eating and sex? There are two connections. One, we use all the same senses to tell us whether we love the meal and whether we're having a great time making love. The eyes, the ears, the nose, the sense of touch, the feel of skin, the crunch of the celery, the voice that murmurs "I love you" or "Isn't this delicious?" All those senses are registering our reaction. Eating and making love are two of the most intimate acts you can have between consenting adults. The second connection is that the sex revolution of the '50s and '60s prepared America for the food revolution by turning us from straight-laced Puritans into budding sensualists. So the minute you started thinking about how does it feel? and how does it taste?, it helped make people more adventurous about what they were eating, and thinking about food as a sensual experience. You've had remarkable success translating that sensuality into seducing your interview subjects. I personally have never seduced a single interview subject. Do you have any suggestions? Well, I never seduced a single interview subject either. Really? But you . . . I could not resist when they made the suggestion. There have been a few men I couldn't resist. So your actions had nothing to do with it? Oh, no, I don't think so. Other than being there. You have to remember that I was lucky enough to be single and grown-up in a period between the pill and the plague, when sex was more carefree and risk-free. And so [sex] was very much on my mind and very much on the minds of some of the subjects I happened to interview. And dancing was very seductive. I think that the amount of dancing we did in the '70s and early '80s seemed to often lead to sex. Do you think that dancing, or dinner and dancing, has been lost? I think at some point the club-going in New York turned from every possible kind of group ending up at Xenon or Studio 54 at the end of the evening, to a bunch of kids hanging out and staring at each other in semi-darkness. It didn't seem to be about the great joy of disco dancing. People laugh at the image of disco dancing in the '70s, but it was hypnotic and wonderful and a great physical thing to do at the end of the day. Why do you think dancing has tapered away? I don't know. Maybe people are more intent on making money. In the '90s, people were getting up earlier. Suddenly everybody had breakfast meetings. Certainly I would say that the AIDS epidemic did stifle a lot of sense that everything was free and easy and accessible. And it was sad. Your book talks about numerous sexcapades. I never use such a word myself. What word . . . Adventures. Okay, adventures. Your book lists tens of adventures, and you seem impressively fearless of being classified as slut. Why? Well, someone called me a "renaissance slut" one time, and I was actually flattered since it was someone who reveres sluts. Are you genuinely not bothered? I'm sure that in some people's minds, it might be disgusting or wicked for someone who's single to be having sex with someone they are not married to, or with someone who is married, but that's not how I think of it. Who's better in bed: editors, who you've been married to, or the porn stars, chefs and show-biz folk who you've dated? It has nothing to do with the profession, as far as I can see. There are just men who are fascinated with women and very interested in sex, who learn everything they need to know and are totally absorbed in how you react and what you feel, and they make wonderful lovers. And then there are those who are more interested in a nice athletic sexual or procreative act who are perfectly fine in bed and available or not. You've slept with men from around the world. Would you be willing to share your number? No. I mean, I have no idea. I could say I've never had a Tibetan lover, or a Malaysian, Burmese, Thai or Portuguese. Do you want me to do a UN? No, but you have no idea what the total number is? I have no idea. It seemed really neurotic to count. But I believe I've had about 19,700 meals at restaurants. I've read that you like Fritos, habanera pretzels and Jujyfruits. What other bourgeoisie delights can be found in your cupboards? Well, they're not found in my cupboard. Absolutely not. Why? Because I'm not going to have them around for fear of loss of control. I've not had peanut butter in the house for thirty years. I also like Baskin-Robbins, Drake's crumb cakes and Entenmanns's coffee cake. Which brings us to the pressing question of how on earth you stay thin after 19,700 meals. I work out with a trainer. It used to be six times a week, now it's five times a week. I have a religious breakfast: Low-fat yogurt, fruit, and low-carb All-Bran. And I try to force myself to get on the bicycle in my office for thirty-five minutes every day. But since email came along, there's less time for it than ever. I don't know how anyone has time for mad affairs anymore. Who's emailing you? Everyone's emailing. And your behavior is different than with letters. Letters used to go on a pile on the desk, and sometimes they would sit there until it was too late to answer them. But email, for some reason, provokes an immediate answer to just get rid of it. Do you have any suggestions for wallet-conscious urbanites who want to develop their sense of taste? A wonderful thing that's happened is the farmer's markets in a lot of cities now. If you were to eat an egg laid on a farm nearby, it would be so different than an egg from a supermarket. Fresh ingredients, with the help of a good cookbook, would certainly help somebody develop taste. Do you think people should indulge more? Oh, absolutely. If people reading my book would get the idea that they should follow their fantasy, take a look at their life and make sure that they're doing what they're really meant to do and want to do, I would be very rewarded by that. Everyone brings a bit of his or her profession into the bedroom. I want to go through a list of your recommended dishes for different scenarios, okay? [Laughing] I'll try. What do you recommend for writing? Well, when I'm restless, I get up and have a piece of fruit. And I always keep cold water next to my computer. Well, not anymore next to the computer. Was there an accident? I have dropped both water and coffee onto the keyboard, and had to replace them. First there's insanity and tears, then regret and madness. And then you order the new keyboard, and it comes overnight. What do you eat when on deadline? I actually never eat while working. This is why you're thin! I'm not thin. What are your suggested dishes for dinner dates? People get very stressed out about garlic breath or salad stuck in teeth. Some women are afraid to show that they like food, and they eat like birds. I think that's a big mistake. You should be who you are. But it's probably safer to order wild salmon, preferably organic salmon if you believe them, or scallops. Something you can eat without choking while flirting. Or you might prefer to have pork chops, but you could get very caught up in trying to cut it, when you want to be saying sweet nothings. What beverages do you suggest for this meal? Red wine. Wine is red. Why? I don't know why, it just is. It's easier to find a wonderful red wine at a reasonable price than it is to find a white wine that has so much pleasure in it. What's a seductive dessert? Sorbet. It's the dessert that leaves you feeling ready for anything. But I always advise sex before dinner. If the meal is incredibly great, you may be too overwhelmed with fat and alcohol to put as much passion into making love. Do you have any suggestions for in-the-bedroom treats? Champagne in the bathtub is good, and I've always kept a jar of chocolate velvet in the freezer so we could each have a big tablespoon coming home from the disco. Chocolate Wickedness, it's called. The recipe's in my book. What's a good food for directly afterward? I guess a fried-egg sandwich, which Elvis seemed to think was perfect afterward. How about the perfect morning after? Breakfast in bed. Almost anything will do, as long as it's delivered to you and you don't have to get up and make it yourself. If you could either eat gourmand or have great sex for the rest of your life, but not both, which would you choose? I would be happy to eat fast food if I could have incredible sex for the rest of my life. I've never had any food as wonderful as great sex. n°
©2006 Arianne Cohen and hooksexup.com.
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