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ifteen Things I Learned from Reading The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss
1. Women are targets; you must “neg” your target.
After approaching the group, he continued, the key is to ignore the woman you desire while winning over her friends — especially the men and anyone else likely to cockblock. If the target is attractive and used to men fawning all over her, the pick-up artist must intrigue her by pretending to be unaffected by her charm. This is accomplished through the use of what he called a "neg."
The purpose of a neg is to lower a woman’s self-esteem while actively displaying a lack of interest in her — by telling her she has lipstick on her teeth, for example, or offering her a piece of gum after she speaks. (page 34)
2. Hypnotizing targets is fun and easy.
"Oh man, I had a girl over here last week, and I gave her a whole new identity. I did a sexual value elicitation, and then changed her whole timeline and internal reality. Then I brushed my finger along her face, telling her to notice" — and here [Ross] switched into a slow, hypnotic voice — "how wherever I touch, it leaves a trail of energy moving through you, and wherever you can feel this energy spreading, the deeper you want to allow yourself to feel these sensations, becoming even more ‘ intense.’ And then I brushed my finger along her lips, and she started sucking it." (59)
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3. Taking a seminar with a pick-up artist (PUA) can help you better manage the dangers of masturbation.
"But what I didn’t realize until yesterday was that I still had cum in my penishole [after masturbating]. So I’d go to sleep, and the cum would harden in my cockhole. Then I’d wake up in the morning and take a pee, but the pee wouldn’t come out." He put a hand on his crotch and wiggled it to illustrate the point. "So I’d push harder and a chunk of jizz would fly out of my penis and smash into the wall or some shit. So the stuff I learned in Mystery’s workshop isn’t just for chicks after all." (88)
4. Never head out for a night of "sarging" without the following items:
Big Red gum
Condoms
Pencil and pen
Digital camera
Tic Tacs
Male Makeup
Runes
Kryptolight necklace
Fake ear and lip piercings
Small blacklight*
Cologne samplers
Various magic tricks
Envelope of preselected photos**
*For pointing out lint and dandruff on girls’ clothing — a neg. (112)
**The photo routine involves carrying an envelope of photos in a jacket pocket, as if they’ve just been developed. Each photo, however, is pre-selected to convey a different aspect of the PUA’s personality, such as images of the PUA with beautiful women, with children, with pets, with celebrities, goofing off with friends, and doing something active like roller-blading or skydiving. The PUA should also have a short, witty story to accompany each photo. (55)
5. The PUA wardrobe for a night out might include the following items (none of which qualify you as gay).
A fuzzy sleeveless purple vest
A pair of tight black vinyl pants
A pink cowboy hat
A black shirt emblazoned with a scrolling bank of LCD lights that could be programmed with a message
6. PUAs save lives every single day.
As anyone who regularly reads newspapers or true-crime books knows, a significant percentage of violent crime, from kidnappings to shooting sprees, is the result of frustrated sexual impulses and desires of males. By socializing guys like Sasha, Mystery and I were making the world a safer place. (121)
7. That fleshy cord bisecting her vagina means . . . you have to say no.
Nonetheless, I brought her directly to my bedroom and we began to make out. I put a finger inside her and felt a fleshy cord bisecting her vagina like a tennis net. It was her hymen. I told her I didn’t want to be the one to take her virginity. That’s when I realized that being a PUA sometimes meant saying no. (288)
8. Women (targets) suffer from certain unfortunate needs.
The problem with being a pickup artist is that there are concepts like sincerity, genuineness, trust and connection that are important to women. (334)
9. Not only is Tom Cruise not gay, he is the ultimate PUA.
I had thought I was done with gurus, but I needed one more. Tom Cruise was teaching me more about inner game than Mystery, Ross Jeffries, Steve P. or my father ever had. (343)
10. It is perfectly okay for PUAs to fantasize about their seed.
"I hope you don’t mind," he said, "but Tammy just gave me a blowjob. She swallowed my load."
Somewhere in her stomach, my sperm was mingling with Mystery’s.
"I don’t mind," I said. And I didn’t. It was part of being friends — a playful competition between PUAs. (390)
11. There are many ways to feel validated.
Mystery put a finger inside her. He was validated. She was validated. (386)
12. Being hired as a cultural reporter for the New York Times, as Strauss was, does not require a command of the English language.
"Do you know the story of the frog and the scorpion?" Mystery asked.
"No, but I love analogies." (552)
13. Neil Strauss is the E.F. Hutton of PUAs.
Despite my aversion to being a guru, I had clearly become one. When I talked to a women, the room went silent. The guys leaned in close to hear what I was saying, pulling out notebooks to write my words down and commit them to memory. (294)
14. Neil Strauss has a very emotional penis.
When I slept with all those other girls, I just had sex with them once a night — and if I liked them enough, a second time in the morning. But something amazing happened with Lisa when we had sex for the first time. After I had an orgasm, it didn’t go down. It remained — rock-hard and luscious.
I did it with her a second time.
"Feel it," I said afterward. It was still ready to go.
We did it a third and fourth time that night, and it never went soft. I couldn’t understand it. My dick, which I had thought was a completely mindless animal desperate to stick itself in any hole, actually responded to emotion. It had feelings too. (556)
15. Alas, the life of a PUA can grow depressing.
When Jessica 1 asked me to come in her mouth, I obliged. She spit the wad into Jessica 2′s mouth, and they starting making out passionately. It was the sexiest moment of my entire life.
But afterward I felt empty and alone. (505) n°
 To buy The Game, click here. |
| ABOUT THE AUTHOR: | ||
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Steve Almond‘s new essay collection is (Not that You Asked). It is, like much of his work, filthy. |
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