Both the yeti and the kraken are actually real, says science

In well-timed, spooktacular science news, evidence has been found proving that both the yeti and the kraken aren't the mythological beasts we always assumed them to be, but very, very real. Well sort of. 

Scientists in Siberia (which skeptics point out could stand to benefit just a little from yeti tourism) found "several hairs that might belong to the yeti" along with "footprints, a presumed bed, and other markers," rendering them "95 percent" sure that these signs could point to no other conclusion than a real life abominable snowman. 

Meanwhile, a paleontologist from Mount Holyoke contends that the fabled kraken sea-monster was once real, based on a pile of ichthyosaur fossils that clearly must have been arranged in front of a kraken den once upon a time.

Sure, this evidence seems tenuous at best. And sure, both these discoveries coming to light in the lead-up to Halloween is a little too convenient. The point is, I want to believe. And I want more excuses to use the word "spooktacular." Long live the kraken-yeti!