There are no vibrators, porn, or David Hasselhoff, but there's something about this story we can't get over. Barry Colenso, British chocolatier who once made an entire billboard out of chocolate, has resigned from his position as master chocolatier at Thorton's after he was caught by employees of a rival store in an "act of truffle-squishing." This is not something that actually happens, this is the climax of a movie starring Bill Murray about a chocolatier who found his wife in bed with his best friend that morning, then lost a huge client at work because he mistakenly insulted the man's wife, and stepped in dog poop after being thrown out of his limousine. Can't you just see the guy at the end of his rope, all rage and frustration, reason and propriety out the window, just squishing and squishing this asshole rival's truffles. It's Dan Ackroyd in Trading Places. Forgive us for digressing into breaking chocolate news, we become giddy anytime someone with the word "master" in their title has a public meltdown